Pluggers 101

You can only skip a day if you don't even look at that day's comic.

And I really didn't look at it.

But maybe I'd get more comments if I did look at it every day.

Hmm.

Yesterday's -



I have one fancy dress and one pair of fancy shoes. I wore them to this classical music thing in Portland last spring and to my graduation last May.

However, the shoes and dress are comfortable, fit me, and look good.

So, like many people who are comfortable in non-formal wear, I only have one fancy, dressy er, dress.

But in 4 years, when I'll be looking for a real job, I will branch out into work clothes.

As for today's Plugger, this actually fits into the comic's description. These are hard working people who have blue collar jobs.

You don't wear suits to blue collar jobs.

However, you'd think they make enough to buy a comfortable one when the occasion arises.

That jacket looks like a hand-me-down from someone shorter than him. It's the only part that doesn't fit, which doesn't make sense. The description makes you think he gains weight between suit days, but the picture doesn't match that. The shirt and pants seem to fit his Plugger physique, but not the jacket.

I've never heard of arms getting longer and fatter independent of the rest of the body, but this is a Plugger.

Plus - he's a guy! He doesn't have to button his suit jacket! Unless he's a defense attorney in court on Law and Order - next time you watch an episode of L & O or SVU, with a trial, watch the defense lawyer.

Today's -


I don't have bifocals, I'm merely nearsighted.

And I don't have to shave my face, but if I did, I'd have to wear my glasses. You ever try on new frames when you need new lenses? Those frames are either empty or have plain glass. So how can you tell if they look good? You just guess. I did well last time, I like this pair.

So everyone with poor vision is a Plugger today. I urge you to not get the surgery for this reason - we can tough this out.

Or this just means Pluggers won't wear contacts, if they make bifocal contacts. I won't wear contacts. The devil's lens, I call 'em! (I'm chicken and I really like my glasses.)

I think this is my 100th post.

It is.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

I almost looked at Sunday's comic on Sunday, but couldn't bring myself to do so.

Yesterday, it was so hot, I walked for five-ten minutes. (So very hot.) "Wear shoes!" sez the Mom. "Of course," sez I.

The shoes are as hot as the cement and asphalt I'm not walking on. Either they're too thin or they're reflecting the sunlight back up into the soles of my feet. (Black flip-flops.) It happened on July 24th, and I was on grass, not a sidewalk. This is the first time my shoes have ever been that kind of hot.

That counts as an excuse, right? I got up after the sun, it's only 5am right now, not very hot.


Sunday:



Wow.

A cell phone.

He's in a pickup truck - and he's using a cell phone line! ha ha ha ha

I think I've seen that name and location before...

I'm not sure I understand the "joke" here - Pluggers don't date strangers, just their relatives and pets?

That truck looks both too big and too small. He can't fit inside of it - unless he gets terrible reception inside the cab. But still, the size is off.

Monday:



I don't drink coffee, and I never will!

I win!

This name seems familiar as well.

I also don't get this - why leave the spoon in? The closest I come to coffee (as in using a coffee cup) is hot cocoa, and you stir the cocoa with a spoon, then take the spoon out to drink and burn your tongue.

Mmm, I can't wait until it's cold enough for that to feel good.

Turns out that wasn't my 100th post.

Drafts show up in the count I see, and every time I go to start one, look at the comic (like yesterday) and throw up, there's a blank draft added to my post count - for me.

Unless there are more beyond the first page in edit posts, this is my 99th.

And I won't be doing a thing from my laptop until the 23rd or 24th - we don't have wireless routers here, and what's the fun of hooking it up to the modem this computer's plugged in to - one internet will be easy on me, I'm a computer idiot. If there are free classes somewhere on or around campus, sign me up.

And it's my BIRTHDAY! NINETEEN, baby.

Almost 2 decades. Yes, today's adults were born... in the late '80s!

That's why I'm the perfect person to judge Pluggers.

Yesterday's hurt my head, but I'm braver, stronger now.

I understand that this is a common problem, not that I've seen my mom struggle with it - she looks at her account online, and keeps up with the ledger. As did I, when I had one and used it regularly. As I will, in college.

But it's a big step, admitting the existence of Sudoku more than once, so I don't expect Pluggers to understand computers or calculators.

But... where are there monthly Sudoku challenges? You can find a different one for each hour...

Maybe Reader's Digest (ecch) has one, and that's the only monthly magazine these simple idiots get.

I hate Sudoku being abused by Pluggers, and I've never mastered it. And I call it Soduku in my head a lot.


Today's sucks just as much:


More interspecies lovin'!

All I have to say is... ew... wet fur...

And yes, they're poor. WE GET IT.

How do they fit in that thing?

Inflatable pools can be a bitch, we had a long rectangular one for years, it was pretty big, as pools like that go, but not very deep. We got a round plastic one for the dogs a couple years back, they ignored it.

Now, I wish we had a pool. But a sprinkler below the trampoline was just as fun.

But what they have is a travesty, an abomination unto the pool gods.

Why? They're pluggers.

With the 100+ heat we've been having, I'm going to assume that they're going to be boiled alive after being knocked out with the heavy end of a tranquilizer gun. (The tranquilizer would taint the meat.)

By who?

Their math challenged neighbors, of course.

My 100th post!

My 101st will be posted from my birthday present - my laptop!

As for the centennial, I felt there was too much pressure yesterday, plus the comic kind of... what's the word... sucked. Probably. If I even looked at it.

Oh well, let's go to yesterday, the day I got... a laptop! (Birthday's not until Saturday, there's still time!)

You know, there were hearing aids in the days before batteries, so you don't have to abandon your Luddite ways to still listen as you age.

Unless they can't afford even the old tin horn thing...

The best part about this - I thought she was knitting at first, but she's holding a calendar that has no pictures above the months. And she has nothing better to do than write down chores for her retiree husband! They both need help.


And today's.

What the hell does that mean?

There are no Plugger pilots?

Most people never 'file a flight plan' while flying kites, most people (especially me) have no idea what a flight plan is!

So this was sent in by a former pilot who's an old fart now and flies kites and uses aviation related words while spending time with his grandchildren?

Pluggers are messed up. Senior Pluggers are f!cked up.

I refuse to work on Sunday.

One the grounds that, um, there was a Law and Order: SVU marathon on USA yesterday and I love Munch.

See? An excuse.

There's no excuse for Sunday's comic, of course.


That hunk of junk cost thirty grand?

Garages scare me. I'd rather have a carport - a cover to protect the car from the sun, but with it open, so I won't be scared. I blame the "M TV" for my fear of garages.

I refuse to believe anything a Plugger owns is worth anything in the real world.

That drawing of a vehicle looks like it won't fit in the drawing of a garage - the garage doesn't look deep enough to hold a motorcycle.

I can't think of a tag for this, besides stupid.

But that applies all the time.

Or today's.



I thought you were supposed to do that on a bike.

And wear a helmet.

I'll be quiet now.

This can be easily categorized - Pluggers are old, ha ha ha.

I assume there was a time when "high fives" were strange and mysterious, probably when this strip started.

Kudos for making his hand high in the air.

My mom does this all the time, only she's waving at friends.

Wow!

Somebody broke down the demographics of Pluggers and They'll Do It Every Time.

That took a lot of work and dedication, and he promises to continually update it.

Yeah, right.

I'm just grateful that I don't have to do it, not that I was going to do it, just note it along with the analysis of the comic to see how fucking odd it is.

It's pretty cool: check it out.

I got up too early.

Or today's comic is even crazier than usual.




Wha?

Is an 'attitude adjustment' a crazy elitist liberal thing, and real Pluggers don't bother with thinking about their moods and feelings until they've killed themselves because their depression spiraled out of control?

These people have problems. And since caffeine is in fact a drug, the irritability you see in steady drinkers before their morning cup can be withdrawal symptoms.

I haven't touched a caffeinated drink in years, and I can be wide awake in the morning, whether I want to be up or not. A bit slow, but if I've got things I need to do, I'm up.

Magazines have coupons?

In Pluggerville, they do. At least for the purpose of today's comic.
Guys read magazines too!

And what magazines has coupons? Most have contests, yes, that have deadlines, but that's all I can think of. Of course, I only subscribe to MAD, so maybe the boring magazines with recipes and old people things have coupons. But I doubt it. I've flipped through many magazines in my life and never seen coupons!

The newspaper, now.

And how do you get that behind on your magazines? Unless it's National Geographic (no coupons that I'm aware of), they don't take long to read!

This Plugger had a subscription to magazines before she knew how to read, so other Pluggers wouldn't figure out that she was illiterate. (Not a functioning one, though.)

I am so early...

Here is today's comic: (I'm running out of semi-witty intros)



from prolonged exposure to this "comic".

Especially today's.

I didn't find the 'slot for used razor blades' for a while, and now I think I see it. If a medicine cabinet behind a mirror hangs flush on the wall, where do the blades go?

I refuse to say more about another "Pluggers are old and/or refuse to enter the 21st century until the 22nd is almost over" entry.

It's August already.

How did that happen?

Today's comic doesn't really address all that is August when it comes to the topic...



Smart people don't bother to water the yard or the outdoor flowers this late in summer - they just die, you just run up your water bill when you should be inside, letting it die.

Of course he's disgruntled! By the time a teenager gets out of bed during the summer, it is hot.

And his parents (or the people holding him hostage) are too cheap to buy a sprinkler!

Now I realize a sprinkler system may cost a bit more - sprinklers that pop up at a certain time, blah blah... I don't know anyone who has one of those...

But a sprinkler? Attached to the hose?

That's out of a Plugger's league?

Whatever.

Pluggers aren't happy anymore.

Not with today's star.



Just seeing him is enough to depress a person, without knowing what the caption is.

And the caption isn't depressing, just stupid and unfunny.

Ha ha, Pluggers don't use computers, and everyone else does!

This joke wasn't funny in the '90s, it's not funny now.

Or he could have a computer, and not know what a hard drive is. My mom doesn't, and we have a computer.

But my mom's never in the same league as any of these freaks. Never!

So if you're not a Plugger, you're a loser.

Pluggers are losers, but they're trying to act like they're not, they've created their own Twilight Zone universe...

I shouldn't do these after an hour of old, old, oooooold Twilight Zone and old-ish X-files right now - more than a decade old!

Sunday's made less sense than usual, until I saw today's.

And now I get it, while ignoring the news and only flipping to games during commercials of CSI and Law and Order.



By itself, this says that if you have no grandchildren, you've never achieved a thing, and you can't achieve a thing until you're an old fart.

The choice of words? Whatever, just another way to say that Pluggers are old as hell and love their old comics and they're the reason BC is continuing with "new" comics.

Until today. (I feel like a CSI or detective, I am so cool.)



Cal Ripken, Jr.


How the hell is he a Plugger?

I don't get it.

They're supposed to be anonymous, everyday people/animals, nobody you'd know or claim to know unless you were related to them.

Not a world-famous baseball player!

What, because he played so many games, he "plugged along"?

How dare they besmirch baseball.

Steroids, I can take.

But this?

Say it ain't so.

Not that late.

I haven't looked at it yet, I'm afraid of what horror awaits me today.



It's worse than I expected. My expectations are too high.

There are two "jokes" today - for whatever reason.

I wonder if both were sent in by Jay, or if Brookins came up with the drawing all on his own.

And hey, the person cooking spam a lot (groan - how dare they mention Monty Python anywhere near this tripe!) doesn't have to be a woman - the reason he eats the same damn meal is because he never bothers to cook or buy anything that tastes better.

I like spam, fried on bread with mayo. Wheat bread, I'm not completely hopeless.

But that's just wrong, eating it more than 3 times a month, let alone a week!

That pink mess is too damn salty for more than one sandwich! And I've had the dubious pleasure of eating it mixed with scrambled eggs on white bread. "Delicious." *toss in garbage can*

If this woman makes him spam that many times a week, she wants him dead.

And then she'll eat him. Though he won't be healthy, not with all that spam.

Complicated murder-suicide here.

There, I salvaged today's comic. I win!

Hey. I've got too many comics to look at and try to make sense.

Or I could go mow the yard...

I'll take the Pluggers air-conditioned bullet.


Hey! I know I said I'd be back last Wednesday, but after the DSL was hooked up, the computer went crazier than usual and the tech guy was like, "you have a virus, you have to get this fixed."

It was supposed to be back a week ago, but wasn't. I left for Frosh Camp on Monday, and when I got home yesterday afternoon, it was back!

High speed internet is so awesome!

Onto something less awesome, eh?


Monday the 16th -



For some reason, when I first looked at this, I thought of Britain - like she's a British chicken. (Isn't bird British slang for a girl?)

But it's not. Yet another North Carolina submission.

Oh wow, take that hippies! We don't need to do a damn thing to help the environment, because we hang our clothes on a line outside.

That's actually something I've done, I did it a lot last summer and the summer before, but now, we have no line, and no place to put it. We do have a folding metal rack, and it holds excess or things that can't be dried in a dryer. I don't know about Wilmington, maybe it's not humid there in the summer, but I do know that one sunny day, I put my clothes outside. Hours later, they were still damp. No wind, only humidity. I think the clothes got wetter.

Actually, this is a pretty decent joke by Plugger standards. And it is what we should do to save money and energy, and it's a lot cheaper than a windmill or solar panels. (I'd love to have solar panels over my room - it bakes all day, reaching 80 degrees and staying there until the wee hours of the morning. I'd love to use solar panels to get it down to a crisp 70 all day.)

But that's silly.

As for the drawing, it looks too damn windy. I've never had dripping laundry, where you can see the water droplets. I know summer in the south, and when it's windy and sunny and after noon, there's a very good chance there will be a short, messy thunderstorm that can cool down the rest of the day, or steam it up.

The water droplets could be rain, in which case, yay, stupid Pluggers. I win!


Tuesday the 17th:

Of course he eats at all you can eat buffets! Big shocker there. I think Dilbert's dad lived at an all you can eat buffet restaurant for years - it was open 24 hours, and there were wetnaps in the men's room or something.

He sold his blood to pay for this meal. I hope he has some citrus.

As for "quality equals quantity" - um... er... he's broke. This is all he'll have to eat for a week or so, even though he eats fellow Pluggers. (I believe that's a chicken leg on his plate.) So yes, the more food he eats, the less chance he has of passing out from hunger on the walk home or losing his figure.

And of course, it also points to stupidity. Virginians!

Plugger Virginians!


Wednesday the 18th:



Ha ha ha! GPS is stupid, all you need is a map, dur.

Not.

One of my sisters at Frosh Camp (don't ask) got horribly lost at Orientation and walked all the way to Oak Court Mall! She had a map of campus, but she didn't know where she was.

That's the problem with maps and the greatness of GPS - it tells you where you are, you don't have to guess.

And if this Plugger hates technology so much, why doesn't his car have '30s suicide doors? Why doesn't it have to be cranked? Where's his horse and buggy? Shame.

Oh, as for folding maps... good god... Mom never takes a map with her if she's driving solo - maybe MapQuest directions, but not usually - she feels better with a passenger dictating directions. And MapQuest printouts fold so much easier. We also write them down on a sheet of paper for greater ease.

But on longer trips, we always have an atlas. It doesn't fold. It goes under the seat.

We still don't have a GPS - they weren't quite standard in late 2001. But we'd never refer to our printouts and atlas as a GPS device!

And his car sucks. And probably can't run, so a GPS device would be useless.

Brookins cannot draw vehicles for shit.

Thursday the 19th:


See?

Using your dad as a mechanic is cheap, and probably not a good idea unless he is one. What you save by not paying for labor, you pay a thousand times over in repairs.

Not all guys are handy. And, what burns me, not all women are helpless when it comes to vehicles.

And her car probably broke down on the way to school or her job (to pay for insurance and gas, because that thing gets one mile to the tank, but not repairs!) because her dad doesn't want her to be independent. He probably fixes the obvious problem, then causes another thing. Hero complex.

I don't like my dad, and I don't like Pluggers. If I can combine the two, all the better.

Friday the 20th:



God, he needs to go to Covington Pike (a road that is famous in the area for a section filled with car dealerships) or his equivalent and take some damn pictures!

I can't draw a car to save my life, but at least I know that.

Okay, I just read the whole caption.

That is so fucking funny! The non-Pluggers see danger, or are at least being sensible, and the Plugger doesn't get it. He's going to get robbed, not that there's anything in there worth taking.

And yet another sign of old cars - at least they know cars can be locked and unlocked remotely and beep, but that's too scary for them.

I hope this was sent in by somebody about an idiot relative. Or just completely made up!

We lived in Italy around 1990, and had a crap car. The good Italian cars are out of any honest enlisted Navy man's reach. Mom and Dad never locked it because the windshield and windows were worth more than the radio.

But I don't see a Plugger being that sensible. Or living in Italy.


Saturday the 21st:



I love the expression on the Plugger's face! This looks like a snapshot taken by a family member for some purpose. Way to break the 4th wall!

I don't like the rest of the cartoon, of course, because I don't care about my PJs as long as they're comfortable and will keep me warm or cold as the weather dictates. And that they're decent enough in mixed company.

But I'm not a Plugger! Only non-Pluggers care about fashion now? Hate this one.

Actually, I do like my PJs and put some thought into them - Tuesday and Wednesday night I wore guy's PJ pants (Rolling Stone tongue all over - classic rock tees and lounge wear is woefully nonexistent in most women's clothes), a white camisole, and because of the mixed company of the cabin, my favorite t-shirt that I got for free 7 years ago this October - and who knows how long the people before me had it!

I don't put that much effort into clothes, but I wear what I like and what I think looks good. So I'm not a Plugger.


Sunday the 22nd:


I can't make out the ingredients she's putting in there, but the only thing that should be cooked in a crock pot is ribs with barbecue sauce - smells great, and they fall off the bone.

The rest - meh.

And guys can be cooks too! There always is the possibility that this was sent in about somebody, but please. Guys can cook, and even if they can't, crock pots aren't that hard to master.



Monday the 23rd:

My god, they can't even get out of their poorly drawn vehicles to eat!

Tuesday the 24th:

Only Pluggers have poor enough vision to not be able to see their glasses when they're not on?

I call offensive bullshit.

Unless you've got granny glasses or Buddy Holly ones, you can't see the damn things when they're off. Small wire frames and clear glass are amazingly hard to find if you need them to see things a few feet in front of you!


Wednesday the 25th:

Um... I hope he's not actually driving, I hope he pulled over first.

He wears glasses too! Ha!

Um, Mister McKee, most cars have these things called "windshield wipers" that do what you are so idiotically doing. If the rain is so bad that they can't, you should pull over as soon as possible, unless you've got to be somewhere at some time. Though most people have "cellular telephone devices", like car phones, but they can be used anywhere, and you can call whoever you have to see and say a tree just flew over my car and scratched the paint on the roof, so I got off the road, I'm sorry, I'll get going as soon as it lets up."

But a real Plugger wouldn't do that, because that's smart, and we're not good at smart in Pluggerville, are we?


Thursday the 26th:

Whoa. These Pluggers not only don't buy American, they don't buy the foreign terrorist goods at Wal-Mart! What is going on here?

And god, I hate it when people pronounce Target that way.

Isn't Taiwan part of China?


Finally! Today's tripe:

More fashion crimes. I loathe "What Not To Wear", but I'm nominating Jean and everyone else I was forced to think about today.

I hate capri pants - if I've worn them, I don't remember.

And I never will.

Shorts or pants, Pluggers, make a decision, we're at war here.

I wish my excuse was housesitting.

That implies isolation, peace and quiet.

The truth is, since Tuesday afternoon, I've only checked my mail, and only because of financial aid worries - and I can't do anything about that (at least online) until August first!

The reason? My sister's bestest friend ever (I never even heard her name until 3 years ago, when she moved to Japan - she didn't know me, I didn't know her, no matter what Beck says) flew in from Florida (summer holiday, going back to Japan before school starts) on Tuesday.

Since then, it has been nonstop idiot teenagers. The minimum is usually 3. Yesterday, I got some peace and quiet for a few hours, they all went to John's house after swimming at another friend's house. (Beck was at work.) I spent the time watching movies and reading, and in the last 18 hours I have seen all of the first 2 Pirates movies (Love me some Depp!) and part of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Adrienne didn't care, she wanted to sleep, Becky did - there had to be something better on TV at 11:30 on a Saturday night! I poked my head in during a commercial - she's flipping through channels, insisting something better is on. My movie ended at 12:30... and they didn't watch a damn thing.

Anyways, I have never been big on lots of people, especially Becky and her friends, due to the noise and the mess, so I've been hiding out.

Computer's in the main room, of course.

However, I didn't get any sleep, and the internet and the Sims are surefire ways to stay awake, I've learned.

So I'm catching up on my internet comics!

I won't do another one until Wednesday or Thursday - we're getting DSL! No more getting kicked off the internet for... being on the internet!


Onto the comics, shall we?

(I'm high on Jack Sparrow - so I'll be a bit odd.)

The 11th, which was Wednesday!

Damn them. I need to pick up poop today. I think I did it the 11th, but I'm not sure.

All I know is, I've been saving the bags the daily paper comes in (fit the hand pretty well) for a while, so I can scoop the poop while walking the dogs.

Only...

It's been hot.

Really hot.

So when it's cool, we play in the big, fenced in back yard, after picking up the poop of course.

I thought Pluggers were suburban/rural freaks of nature. Why should they be walking their dog so it can poop? Don't they have yards?

As for the caption, what the hell are they referencing? The US postal service? FedEx? UPS?

And do they follow the dog-looking Plugger around with a scoop and a bag? (Smallish shovel - hose it off afterward, hang it on the outside of the shed to dry - every single pooper scooper we've ever had has broken. Shovel works great.)

Onto Thursday's idiocy!



Where to begin.

First - I've never seen an Eskimo pie, and I live right next to North Carolina. (The eastern edge of the state I'm in does, so there.)

Second - good god, these losers never order Chinese food? Or pizza? Or... anything!

Also, it's faintly offensive, though I can't pinpoint why. I got online Thursday, saw this, and gave up.

Also, why eat ethnic food of any kind, Mister Sharp, if that is your real name? American food not good enough for you? To gitmo with the lot of ye scabrous dogs!


And Friday's fresh hell:

Friday was an interesting day for me. I ate "ethnic food" (stuffed pizza from Villa Pizza at the mall, best thing since the only other great one (that I know of, not that I remember the name!) has closed.), bought a few books and comic books, and for the first time this entire summer, had to call in the cavalry from the library. I was wiped, I could not ride home, and I still don't know why. It wasn't as humid or hot as other days, I've done fine in 100 degree weather, but a cloudy 80 something day, and I need my mommy and her air conditioned truck. And I didn't even look bad, not overheated, just too shaky.


The comic - I thought that was a lady Plugger at first. And no, an mp3 player is not the tune you whistle off key because it is stuck in your head! I'm sure iPods will be inserted into or onto future generations, but we're not there yet.

So a Plugger with a wheelbarrow is an iPod now? And we know why it's full of dirt. Burying the bones of his last "battery", or taking dirt from the grave.

If they weren't so bloody stupid and boring, I wouldn't need to make up sinister backstories!


Saturday's fiasco:


Scroggs. Really?

If I get bored enough today, I will tally how many come from the South and Midwest. Probably too many.

As for the comic, that truck is itty bitty! No truck bed is that size, except for those stupid SUV/truck thingamabobs. When we put the dog cage in the back of ours, we can also fit a human comfortably (me, riding along to keep Dixie happy) or too much camping junk.

Second, I know most of North Carolina is rural, but that's not exactly the safest way for your "best friend" to ride. In the cage? In the cab, next to you?

Every time I've taken a dog in the bed without the cage, I've had a leash.

And myself.

Except for one time, and I rode in the back seat with the back window open, watching her the entire time. She was too tired to move.

But God, that can't be safe. I know that dog wants to escape, you can see it in its eyes.

Wickett had to be groomed last week - he rode in the cab both ways - mostly the front, sometimes with his paws on the wheel.

Dixie and Mikey will be groomed later this week. I don't think we'll bother with the cage, it's so hot. Mikey will probably ride inside (ecstatic at the thought of a trip before curling up in a dejected ball of apricot-colored curls in the back seat after 2 minutes), and I'll probably sit in the back, with Dixie by my side.

On a leash.


And today's tripe:

"Almost finished"????

It's got no walls, no security!

And that tree's not tall enough to warrant a tree house, I'm sorry.

And I want a tree house. My cousins had one, but they moved and the new owners removed it. It was there before my cousins were! I loved that thing!

I get the "joke" - boarding school, boards are used to make a treehouse - ha ha ha ha.

But it makes less sense than usual. How is a pathetic tree house anything at all like a school? Is he going to play school in there? (Best if you have a close relative working in a school and/or are a well-behaved smart kid - you get a lot of old textbooks and teacher's editions at the end of the year.)

I don't think so.

I do not see the connection between a boarding school and a tree house made of boards!

Besides the fact that both contain the word "board".

Wayne Johnson, if that's the joke you sent in, you're an idiot.

And I'm done! See ya on a highspeed connection!

The Plugger pictured is not the subject of today's comic.

It's true - while nobody in Pluggerville is in any way wealthy, today's comic is supposed to star the Rhino.




This poverty thing is getting just as tiresome as the age thing.

However, that's a stupid idea, leaving your car unlocked all the time. I don't care how much the car itself is worth, there are times when you leave important things in your car!

However, this is similar to what my parents (and many people they knew) did in the early '90s in Italy. They left the doors unlocked because glass for the windshield cost more than the radio inside. Maybe it was because of the first war in Iraq, maybe not.

Yet another one about a subject that I know nothing about.

Well, I mean, I know the basic facts and procedures, I just can't do it.

What am I referring to?

Driving, of course.

Today's comic illustrates the "Middle America" part of Pluggerville, as do all relating to driving.





This is the most famous couple of Pluggerville - it shows that the town is incredibly tolerant, probably on the way to gay marriage soon enough.

Like many things in this comic about cars, I know what cruise control is, I just fail to see how a nagging passenger is the same as setting your vehicle at a certain speed while driving on an interstate.

This premise makes no sense. A brick tied to the gas, now, that would be Plugger cruise control.

The nagging passenger could be a substitute for OnStar, some of the new commercials show that OnStar can tell you what's wrong by doing a diagnostic test via computer.

But OnStar is much newer than cruise control, which is older than me. I'm guessing it was a Plugger that put his car in cruise control when it first came out and fell asleep, knowing the car would get him there. Of course, that's an urban legend, but I don't doubt Pluggers would do that.

These comics that feature drivingg drive home the point that Pluggers are not city folks, nor do they live close to cities. They never use public transportation, because it's not available there.

What pisses me off about this is the gender switch. Men can be backseat drivers, too. It's not the '50s anymore, Brookins, women drive just as well as men. God, I hate that stereotype. It appeared in MAD more than once, but one I really remember is about parking meters and the way to get rid of them - let the women drive!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha.

The image of the wife as the nagging passenger is incredibly stupid and offensive. It was sent in by a woman!


Her husband/brother/father/male friend could easily be the backseat driver, especially if she's learning how to drive. (Always the old junker.)

Let me end this on a happy note - the "woman" in the comic will use her nagging to lead to the death of the man - then her young can eat and get fat before she eats them.

I love perverting comics.

Something about last Sunday's comic.

I can't imagine a paper carrying this 7 days a week - I mean, this is the biggest waste of colored ink and space imaginable - you have a huge space to work with, a chance to do something extraordinary, but you don't take advantage of it?

Idiot.

I thought of something new about this blog post (my post-Independence Day catchup), specifically this comic from the 1st.



I saw that and said he was an idiot, which he is.

However, I now realize that I was quick to judge.

The Plugger figures he can fix anything with duct tape, that doesn't mean he actually can.

Don't get me wrong, he's still an idiot.

But my reaction was based on the assumption that he actually has fixed things with duct tape, not that he's merely paid for the mechanic's, plumber's, and dentist's mortgage, children's college education, summer house, winter house, and Learjet.

Though I'd love to see what would happen if you actually came at a priceless artifact that is very significant to a lot of a people with duct tape.

The man is stupid for carrying around duct tape, and he's also stupid for saying such an ignorant thing. Unless he's a wiseass having fun, like people do with the Buckingham Palace guards.

But I doubt it.

And I blame Brookins for yet another bad example of an entry.

I really *do* want to do this daily.

It's just...

I don't get online like I used to. I don't know why - it's hot, humid, and unbearable outside, and this computer is downstairs, where it's always pretty cool.

I am reading more.

And sleeping...

Usually through the heat. And the heat that was beating the eastern side of the Rockies is making its lovely way across the country this week - I'm not leaving the house unless I'm guaranteed semi-decent temperatures. (Usually by an incoming storm.) But hey, I have ridden in 100 degree weather this summer, so I can make it to wherever and back to the shower. If I am flush with cash, I've made pitstops at Sonic, Baskin Robbins, and a gas station for a nice treat.

Back to people who are too dumb to come in from the heat.

Friday's comic:




Is this one a case of mixed up gender? I'm going to say maybe. I'd hope women would be smart enough to carry something better for them while running in a race (hopefully not a marathon, look at that poor creature) like, I don't know, water?

Virginia may be north of me, but they're not cooler in July, not even in the mountains.

Though she sent something into Plugger's, so...

Wouldn't it melt in the heat?

Hershey bars are, of course, better than PowerBars. I've had a few good granola ones, but they're usually rock hard, though a good breakfast on the run in middle and high school. Hershey bars, not so much.

But... this example of a time to eat a PowerBar is so stupid, even by Plugger standards! Sheesh. If I'd gotten on the computer Friday with the intention of writing about this, I would've gotten right off.

Saturday's:




He's talking to frozen food.

He's talking to frozen food!

I swear I don't get these people. Wasn't there a fishing Plugger earlier this week? What, fat cats don't like to fish because they don't like water?

And now Pennsylvania's a desert.

First time I've seen a cat.

I'm sure other animals like fish - like bears! Now if this cartoon featured the fishing Plugger, that would be awesome. "Look what I caught, honey!"

And today's, which finally addresses the heat. Kind of.




We had a wading pool for the dogs, but they never used it, and Becky used it as a tanning aide. Set up a chair next to it, and put your feet in it. Aah, bliss. For about ten minutes.

Let that damn dog in the house!

I see the dog's water is out in the sun. In July.

Or if the dog has a water dish in the shade, with ice in it (we always do that if they'll be out while we're gone, and we need a new outdoor fan), god knows what's in that pool.

Let the dog in the house!

Another repeated comic!

Remember the controversy earlier this morning about 2 practically identical comics running in less than a week?

Of course you do, you're smart.

Well, I found another set. One from April 18th, the other from June 19th.






Themes are repeated, that's to be expected, that's the point of a series of books, movies, a tv show!, but the caption is practically identical in both! At least with the other ones, the bags were used to hold different things in different places.

Can you plagairize yourself? No, these are submitted by readers, so does that mean that the one that comes in later was stolen? And if they're so similar, why not blame "lots of Pluggers everywhere"?

The drawings are different, of course - different species, even. But the first one is the Rhino, and we know he's depressed and broke. But the other creature? I didn't think so.

Is anyone in Pluggerville in the black?

And I'm sorry, one takes place at a secondhand dealership and the other one is just a random gas station. And one is about an old car, while the other is a beat up old truck. I thought guys loved their vehicles and took care of them, like Hank Hill, they poured the emotions they've been conditioned not to express (love) into things like the truck or the yard.

That's a stupid stereotype of course, but Pluggers are stupid stereotypes.

Maybe the truck guy can't get his fixed or buy a new or used one in better shape because he keeps wrecking, and I'm sure your auto insurance rates for the insolvent members of Pluggerville were high to begin with, I can't imagine what they're like after whatever caused all that.

I've got to give him credit for waiting 62 days! What restraint.

An updated thought on a comic that ran on June 18th.

And a blog entry that ran on the 19th.

This is the comic and blog entry I'm thinking about - I was looking for another one, and my tendency to not name the entries in anyway relating to the comic I'm talking about made me just guess and I found what I was looking for.


But I also reread what I wrote about the society page of the Penny Saver couple of the year, and a new explanation hit me.

Since no gender is mentioned, we don't know if this idea came predominantly from men, from women, from young people, from married people, from people that aren't married to each other, or just from random cranks. (I'm going with the last one for 99% of the comics analyzed by your humble comic analyst.)

We have established that Pluggers are cheap, whether they are broke or not. Both pop culture Scrooges are major cheapskates - I love Scrooge McDuck's cheapness, because most of my comics about him are from about 10 years before I was born, if that. And comics don't lie.

Back to one that is not lying, because some people lead sadder lives than mine. (I don't mean health issues, I just mean monotony and ruts and boredom and exciting eggs.)

The idea I had initially was that they were broke teenagers, and I said if they're so broke, why does she have glasses that look almost contemporary?

However, they could be dating and not in a committed relationship at the time. (Moving in, getting married, buying a pizza together.)

So she could have her own money, or her parent's could have money, and in Pluggerville, the guy always pays, no matter which way his money is flowing. That's part of buying a pet in Pluggerville - pay for a nice date, then zap! with a shrinking ray and zip! with the petometer.

So if they're not eating their children (not Law & Order: SVU), they're turning them into pets. (Law & Order: CI maybe.)

So the date could be a broke chauvinist who believes that the man is the provider and the door-opener.

Or they could be married, with too many kids that they've dumped on a relative or a babysitter so they can get the monthly shopping done. The babysitter isn't cheap, even if it is family, and they need a lot of supplies, so they don't have money for the food sold at the restaurant at the store. (The Costco in Vancouver, Washington has sublime hot dogs.)

If it's sent in by women and girls, it's sent in about the disastrous date she had with a cheapskate that promised her dinner and a movie and took her to Costco and searched for samples before settling down in the electronics department to see the latest movie out on DVD.

One more scenario - have you seen the Visa Check Card commercials? Everything's going great, following a precise order, all the gears turn just so until some schmuck pays with cash.

So these two don't carry enough cash for dinner, not even a hot dog. However, they have check cards.

Why not use them? They are married.

But not to each other!

And I imagine check cards leave a paper trail, as would using the card to get money out of ATM for a real meal. Though this would be bad if they're suspects in a crime - no paper trail, no alibi!

One other idea - this had to be sent in by young people or about young people, because if the average contributor is as old as the comics tell us, they couldn't have done this when they were young, I don't think they were as widespread, but I don't honestly know. Or hey, the Social Security check is late and your stomach is growling, so you take your Assisted Living sweetie to Costco for a night on the warehouse. You wasted all your money on botox and plastic surgery, why look old when others don't? Because you age as you get older... oh forget it.

Number 80!

Don't know how many I've looked at, how they've rotted my brain and probably jeopardized my scholarship almost 2 months before school even starts because of laziness and only 2 genuine reasons to be late.

Today is a copy of one from last week, which is just bizarre. (And not in a good way.)

I mean, this is just extremely, bizarrely lazy. I know the ideas are repeated a thousand times over, there can't be more than 10 real readers of this comic besides us snarks and jabberwocks.




Don't get me wrong, I use the library on a regular basis because books are expensive most of the time - unless they're secondhand, and there are no bookstores in my town besides the Christian one. (It used to be an awesome bike shop.) There are sections in Wal-Mart and Kroger, and the one antique store has some. There used to be a great, small, crowded bookstore, it's gone now.

So - the library is the only place within comfortable summer biking or walking distance to get free or cheap (discarded) books.

I have a normal school book bag that I used to use on our monthly trips to the big main one in downtown Memphis, but it's a hassle on a bike. I have a bag that doesn't zip or have secure interior pockets, so it's just used for books.

However, there's not much there I like except for the occasional hardback that catches my eye. I normally order books from the other 3 libraries that left the main system, and you can only order 2 from another library at a time.

So it's not big volume - they normally fit in my purse (on the small but deep side) or securely in the basket.

However, I always have 2 bags in my purse - Target ones right now - in case it starts raining.

And before I rode all the time, I'd ask my mom to drop them off on her way to... wherever.

Normally, the 20ish books (we're now allowed 10 because they're too cheap to keep security measures in place, and people were stealing because they could legally check out 25 books at a time, not because they could walk in and walk out with a book without ever stopping at the desk) would go in a bag, usually 2 plastic ones that were thrown out or used to gather trash from the car doors.

So, yes, I can relate with the "woman" in the picture.

But it still bugs me - this is the same thing from less than a week ago! Jesus Christ on a pogo stick! I know it's hot and your brain is hibernating, but come on.

As for today's comic, I'm not calling the sender cheap or broke - it's a common, convenient thing, and makes me feel better because there's no recycling in our town, so I'm reusing the bags. I do it all the damn time, it's just smart. 2 bags can protect your backpack from wet clothes, protect your medicine from the abyss of your backpack, and on and on.

2 problems with the comic - not just men bowl, and not just women read. Also, that looks like a small bag in proportion to the size and number of the books. That's stupid, that bag will break. These things are everywhere, and you can't take the time to double bag those twenty plus dollar books?

If you're using one bag for that many books, and the bag breaks and the books get ruined, you deserve it. I mean, I didn't even use one bag when I'd toss them in the car for a quick drop off. And the ones I keep around for rain? Put the purse and books in one bag, tie it, then put that bag in the other with the tied end at the opposite side - better protection.

The message here is not odd, treasonous, stupid, or, sadly, cannibalistic. (If it had said the bag held eggs...)

The execution is sloppy and the timing sucks majorly. He couldn't have shelved this for a few months?

That poster of the dog reading is creepy, yay! I mean, look at those eyes.

Big Brother is watching!

And I've never been to a checkout at any library (and I've been to a lot, not just the ones here) that has the word LIBRARY written above it on nothing.

Plus, bookshelves are never that close to the checkout desk, at least not where patrons can get them - maybe discard shelves, but those don't look like discard shelves. The counter is for checking in, checking out, signing up for computer time, and getting library cards. It's a lot bigger than that, at every library!

So these pluggers, obviously, do not read or visit library.

Case closed.

Unless...

Unless...

This was sent in by a man, about a woman he knows who always comes home from the library with Kroger bags and comes home from Kroger with groceries in a canvas bag with books on it.

This man doesn't read, so he doesn't understand anything, except the astonishing cheapness of this female - the books are free, you can't spring for a decent bag?

Or Brookins has never seen the inside of a library.

That's probably it.

Sorry for rambling. I love libraries, I love books, but I also hate being like a Plugger.

But many people are - doesn't everyone save grocery bags, as long as they're not in terrible condition?

This is much more plausible than a f!cking bowling ball in a cheap disposable bag.

On a happier note, I'm glad to see this female Plugger reading, remember the time she entered Rhinoman's whirlpool of despair? She's obviously coping better with the suckiness of her life. The fact that she reads points to someone who was an honor student in high school or college, on her way to a succesful career in whatever she wanted to do, but something got in the way.

Good for her.

I actually like this one just like the one from the 30th (though that one does piss me off a bit more - it's still true and applies to me and my family) - it doesn't fill me with rage or confusion. I think I'm going soft. It is 4am and I got less than 6 hours of sleep, so maybe I'm in a better mood?

I hope Friday's will piss me off so much I consider abandoning the blog for a few days.

I don't think I'll be disappointed.

See ya in the funny pages.

I don't want to.

*whines*

I barely got online since Friday morning - super fast internet, but the sound wasn't hooked up, so what videos did I get to watch?

None!

I honestly never looked at this... this... comic.

And now I have to do way too many and I'm overheated and it's all your fault.

Saturday the 30th:


I like this, maturity is a joke - I spent my father's graduation money on an eyebrow piercing then walked into a children's bookstore and bought too many Archie comics. Life is too short for maturity when it's not needed. (Be a grown-up when it comes to money and your or your family's safety, of course.)

But Gwampa?

Heat makes me nauseous, maybe I should abandon this tripe until Christmas break?

Sunday the 1st:


Not true. We used purple duct tape on our back screen door to hold the glass in - it eventually just fell off.

And what a stupid example - the Plugger knows nothing of the Liberty Bell?

Whatever, using the bell must be the Plugger contribution to the fourth.


Monday the 2nd:


Who says "elbow grease"? I don't want greasy elbows! And furry animals should never have anything remotely greasy or oily within a yard of their hair.

Do they really have "cordless screwdrivers" powered by something other than your arm? I used a drill once while helping (and probably setting the work back a few weeks) and drilled my finger. That's all I can think of for an electric screwdriver.

My lack of expertise is obvious, isn't it? Tell me how to use it, and I usually can.

Tuesday the 3rd:


This Plugger depresses me.

So, he's eating another member of their bizarre commune. Much less depressing.


Wednesday the 4th:






This comic is about the Silent Majority, Middle America, the people you must sell the candidate to in Peoria, and this is their Independence Day showing?

I forgot what today was too many times in the form of constantly checking the mail and not understanding why Dixie should be sedated (10th Fourth of July and they still terrify her! 2 25mg Benadryls in white bread with a couple pieces for the idiots.)

But I still have one up on them - I watched bits of 3 Fourth of July cable marathons (Law & Order, King of the Hill, and The Twilight Zone), along with wearing red, white, and blue. I got this holiday mixed up with St Patrick's Day, no, I don't drink red, white, and blue beer in July, I thought you had to wear the 3 colors or you'd get sent to Gitmo instead of being pinched.

Anyways, yeah, fishing, great summer activity, that guy's a moron, it's too hot to fish in flannel, and that is an animal... covered... in fur.

Calling the ASPCA tomorrow...