Thursday April 14th

The comic:

But no Plugger have a job where they need to wear a suit and tie. I call shenanigans!

Tuesday March 15th

The comic:

And they always give you slightly imperfect parts so you'll return!

This is nothing - my mom knows the mechanics at her Toyota dealership (for the oil change maintenance stuff) so well that she can call former employees for help when the current ones are not being good.

A non-car example is the library by my dorm - I've been sending books there from other branches since August 2007, they definitely know me and go get the holds before I ask. This was most surprising this semester because I hadn't been in since last May.

I was going to be nice and assume that this happened because Pluggers are friendly people, but he looks so miserable that that can't be the case. "If I took better care of my car, they wouldn't know me so well..."

Saturday July 10th

The comic:

Bully for them.

But why not junk/antique shops? They have some great things as well - I found so many old comics and MAD magazines after my graduation (dressy sandals, pretty dress, and flipping through dusty old things).

The only issue I have is if I get a Goosebumps book I already have.

I guess this is supposed to be funny because we go to yard sales without planning most of the time? (love looking through the classifieds to see who paid for an ad... and then has no books and just baby crap)

And I do go to Goodwill on a whim when I'm near the big one. But I do want to go to the new one in my town because my purse I bought in December 2007 may not last forever, and I once looked at purses in a regular store - similar styles, high prices (I paid like 5 bucks for the one I have). So I want a back-up.

I wonder if the owner at yard sale likes someone with a list. I usually look around and then ask if they have any books and then go on my way. Thrift stores? They'd probably be really pissed if you asked if they had a specific item.

And I've never seen 8 tracks, just records.

Tuesday July 6th

This blog is very important in the summer, because it lets me know what day it is. Only problem is, I update it before going to bed, so even though it's technically Tuesday, it's not Tuesday til I wake up at 8. (And then go back to bed until Jeopardy at 3:30.)

The comic:

Those legs are quite scary - why aren't his arms equally thin?

I always say the best part about being fat is the boobies. Because of medications, I've gained some weight over the last couple months (like fast enough to get tons of stretch marks) and yes, my boobs have grown.

Poor men, they don't have an acceptable place for fat. Except men get less guilt over being fat, so...

Also, it's cute that they call it a "diet" - we know it means that RhinoMan is starving because he's so poor.

And the gender change is... interesting. I guess they couldn't show a sad chicken or dog lady looking sadly at her deflated chest. Too risqué, I'd imagine.

You know, in this country, I think it costs more to lose weight on purpose than it does to gain it. Fat camps are expensive, diet food is expensive, and no one ever factors in the time - sometimes you don't have the time for the exercise or the counting of calories or of points. Or the money for weight watchers, because people who have lost weight say a support group helps a lot.

I read something interesting at the Fat Nutritionist (that I can't find right now) about why those ignorant poor, fat people buy fast food instead of healthy fruit. Fruit doesn't have a lot of calories. We need calories (aka food) to live. 10 bucks gets you more calories at McDonalds than it does at a fruit stand. That made a lot of sense to me when I read it, something just clicked.

Me? My doctors haven't told me to lose weight, so I'm doing my hardest not to care. I've got some comfy shorts, maybe I'll have to buy new pants in October or something (maybe my weight will have dropped 50 pounds by then - who knows with me), my pajamas fit (it's summer), and I walk when I can (heat, pain). Food? When I feel like shit, I eat what I want. Eating something grody (or dangerous - like broccoli) when I'm in excruciating pain... that's just inhumane, man.

Saturday May 8th

The comic:

His ears scare me. Also, going on the RhinoMan's story - he is at a friend or relative's house and they lent him decent pajamas. Or he broke in and put on the pjs and is raiding the fridge because his biggest fantasy in life is having a midnight snack. Ha, imagined poverty is funny!

Also, he's not thinking outside the box. If he was, we'd see an open cupboard (though the angles that would require showing more than RhinoMan and an open fridge in a blank void would probably break our heads) or at least the freezer would be open. That would be literal.

Is this supposed to be literal - he'll take food out of the box. Or is it, ha, Pluggers only think of food and that's funny because um, it just is.

No idea.



I'm not doing better health wise, but school is over (except for a 12 page paper, I just want to take an F, I'm so lazy) and I'm on the couch and the dogs need to be in. So mentally, I'm in a better place. So Monday, maybe?

Monday March 29th

The comic:

The caption says "When a plugger opens her mailbox, it's more pills and bills." It shows a monstrosity opening a mailbox, holding boxes as envelopes fall to the ground. It is poorly drawn. It was sent in by Robert Webb of Gainesville, Georgia.

Uh... what? It rhymes, so that's why? I expected "more pills THAN bills" and when copying the caption, I typed that and had to go back and put it right.

So Pluggers get their prescriptions through the mail. Bully for them. Well, only female ones. Wait - Robert is a male name. Why is it a woman? Why is it "her" mailbox? Who picked the gender - the artist or the real life Plugger?

And what is the point?!

*Trying to make this blog more accessible. My HTML-fu is a bit rusty, so I won't mess with ALT text and just describe (to the best of my abilities) the comic. I will probably use the words "monstrosity" and "poorly drawn" every day. If you didn't know, blind people can use the internet. Text based websites are the most accessible, and describing the image helps a lot.

Thursday March 25th

The comic:

Yes, it's so funny when you don't remember things.

Or when walking up the stairs (though if it's 40 times in a row, maybe) is exhausting.

No, it's not funny, it's "touching". The hell? Okay, so we "identify" with the exhausted Plugger.

It's sad, and we're supposed to (as comic mockers) go ha ha, he's fat and old. Ha ha.

I do have a solution - keep all the glasses in a box, and keep said box with you. Or keep multiple pairs, if you got the money. And computer glasses are different from reading glasses? Lordy. I have my one pair because I'm near-sighted. I never leave them on a different floor. Different room, yes.

And ha - the glasses are on his head! I've tried that, not comfortable.

And an extra dose of knee-slapping hilarity - he forgot what he wanted to do, in addition to bad eyesight. It's so fun to make fun of people's illnesses and infirmities. I know I do. I go to St. Jude weekly and point at the girls and laugh because they are bald.

I won't go back and edit my own posts, but as a chronically ill overweight person who forgets things and wears glasses, I don't think I've been too cruel in the past. If I am mean in the future, it will be towards Brookins, to the genuine fans who think this tripe is worth money. Eh, I'm contributing - no such thing as bad press! But sometimes the comic disgusts me, and not because it's really objectionable, but just because what's the point. They're old. They have illnesses. They're fat (or drawn that way). It's not funny.

Thursday January 7th

The comic:

So do I! Well not the first step, usually after I burst into my room, I forget why I went up there and go downstairs and then go back up and back down until I ask my mom if she knows what I'm looking for.

But I'm not a male, so I'm not a Plugger! Truly, an occasion for celebration.

Saturday March 28th

The comic:


You're a Plugger if you gradually lose interest in your wife as you both age, and instead of having an affair with your kid's friend, you want to fuck their car.

Wednesday March 4th

The comic:


Pluggers are broke and stupid.

Like the switched gender and the use of charge. How old is this tripe?

Wednesday February 25th

The comic:



I loves me some RhinoMan, but damn, did not need this image.

At any time, in any frame of mind.

Why is shoeless, when we've seen female Pluggers in blobby tennis shoes all the damn time? Why not draw his feet, eh?

And that is one rotten drawing - if the drawstrings couldn't be drawn because he's too fat (because he's a Plugger, duh!), there wouldn't be so much left over!

His drawstrings may not be drawn, but his expression certainly his. (Drawn is another way of saying depressed, right?) He's gonna feel the economic problems ahead of his Plugger brethren, I mean, this year. He looks beyond tired. Don't drink the rat poison!

Monday January 12th

The comic:


There are in shape Pluggers? I don't think Brookins could even draw one, let alone think of one. (Yes, fat people can be in shape, but Pluggers don't think way.)

The gender change really matters to me this time. Uh, guys, our weight can change over the month for no reason other than hormones not a slice of pie last night. And, given the average age of Pluggers, I can only imagine that menopause is no kinder to the body.

But hey, they're fat! Hur, that's funny.

Also, god, he can't even draw his own creations right! What did he begin with, the head or the body? Has he never heard of an eraser? I'm just glad there are no grandchildren (you know they would be grandchildren) in the comic to fuck with my eyes today.

Pluggers are more out of shape than a corpse if their knees are buckling, I would imagine. Most weight gain is gradual. You don't put on a hundred pounds while prone and then stand up and crumple. Of course there can be damage done to your joints, I'm sure, but nothing akin to bucking knees... which is ... like arthritis? Fainting? I have no idea?

And I am fat, and I know this, but my belts always buckle. See, I get jeans that fit (and always end up a bit too big after a washing and wearing) and while I paid through the nose, they're quality. And I don't think $40 a pop is too cruel for even the most destitute Plugger, now is it?

There's always, sweats, though I imagine they suffer from Homer's problem: "He says the crotch wears out too fast." As McAllister said, "Yar!That's going to replace the whale in my nightmares."

Why torture yourselves, Pluggers? For the chance to see your oh so original and hilarious observation about life, along with your name, in the paper? To be published?


This is going to be an odd week. Normally, this would just say "You're [a] plugger..." but know we're dividing them up... this has happened before with gender and age and this won't be the end of it. I'm sure it will be followed by a fat "joke" that says "You're a plugger if you're fat" with no caveat about being out of shape.

Does Brookins realize people can also be out of shape and thin? Or "normal"? "Out of shape" comes in all sizes (not to mention shapes), idiot.

One last weird thing. This is the first week of school, right? This will be 4th semester here, and every semester has started on a Monday. The week before is the week the county schools go back, and week after contains a Monday holiday (Labor day in the fall, MLK day in spring).

So why am I posting this when I should be sleeping?

Classes don't start until Thursday! And I only found out at 8pm tonight. I was wondering why I hadn't seen or heard many people moving in this weekend, and now I have an answer. I am so glad I talked to some girl I'd never met (and then another to confirm it, before checking at the school's website), or I'd be sitting outside the classroom tomorrow morning for too damn long before heading on to the next one. I can only hope the person working the desk in the morning will be nice to tell anyone staggering around tomorrow morning at 8:30 that there are no classes today, you can go back to sleep dear.

Wednesday January 7th

The comic:


You know, the gender switch is actually quite interesting when you look at the Bear's expression. He's not mad because his neighbor/friend has kept his belt sander (do people really have to sand belts that often?). He's mad because his wife has been nagging him about the fact that they have nothing, and what they do have is shit, and then he lends it out. (Her voice is getting louder and louder.)

If he's getting his tools back, he has to do chores.

As for the caption, it's pretty much gibberish. I mean, I understand the sentence, but what does it have to do with Pluggerness? They have terrible taste in friends?

Tuesday December 16th

The comic:



Ooh, gutsy.

I dare somebody who gets this in their paper to write in and complain about the implied bad language.

Ok, one, yes, he is asleep, but he cannot be comfortable. And his age (and mine, and I'm just 20), reclining is the least you can do for your back. Do Pluggers think comfort is a sin?

Also, I understand the tragedy of missing the ending of a movie, you just pop it in later and watch the rest. Right?

Oh, no, it just hit me. Pluggers watch movies they already have memorized so if they fall asleep, it won't be a big deal. That also explains why they never try anything new - they're afraid they'll fall asleep and miss part of it. Well guess what? Wednesday night, I slept through the first ten minutes of a new Daily Show. Through the miracle of reruns, I caught the segments on Comedy Central Thursday morning at nine AM. Magic!

Pluggers are lazy.

And they're not even good at it. You should see our recliner. Right now, it has our demon dog, Wickett, on it, and he's grouchy. He growls whenever I get off the uncomfortable (and I think broken) computer chair. Like to turn off the light. Or leave the room.

But when he's not there... damn, that thing is nice. And you can see the TV. Lazy, lazy, lazy days are encouraged in that damn things.

If you're going to be lazy and fall asleep watching TV, try to be comfy.

Why can't Pluggers ever have fun?

I mean, he's wearing formal pajamas (no sweatpants and t-shirt for him, no sir!), a robe, and slippers. Our heater is on the fritz, so I get the layers. But the formality? Where are the blankies?

I only saw this movie once, but his movie watching outfit reminds me of the dad in Dead Poet's Society, and how SPOILER ALERT the night his son kills himself, he takes his slippers off just so. The dad was played by Kurtwood Smith, who later played Red on That '70s Show.

And the chips.

The unopened chips.

On the ground.

Not comfortably within reach.

I'm beginning to think Brookins doesn't like Pluggers either, or he'd draw them happy more often.

Saturday October 18th

The comic:


I thought this was a guy - you know, a professional the kind us non-Pluggers hire to paint less than a square foot of our wall - at first, but dude, is that a chest? And earrings? And Brookins female template?

I just finished Boys Don't Cry. Talk about a snapshot of a Pluggerville - no, not the characters, the town. Rural Nebraska. Nebraska.

Except this one is from Minnesota. Oh, every state has rural redneck areas that seem as dead-end as a town in rural Nebraska.

What is there to say about the comic itself? Whatevs, to quote my sister who was a total bitch but I wasn't miss sweet 'n' nice myself, so I still love her. Like she reads this.

Thursday October 9th

The comic:


BULLSHIT!

Pluggers are the obnoxious SUV drivers!

Plus, Brookins can't draw for shit. That truck with camper is so short, it looks like a simple, not-exactly-new SUV.

And I have been in the back of an SUV and the back of a truck with camper. One is safer than the other (seatbelts), while the other is more fun, because you get to play Barbies and stretch out. I have never seen an SUV with as much play space as pickup.

And with improvements in MPG for SUVs, a new non-Hummer SUV gets more MPG than your old Nebraska short truck.

Seriously, Brookins, work on your vehicles.

The Gender Sender Bender is really funny, because while soccer moms used to be in minivans, they soon switched to SUVs. (At least on the Tee-Vee.) And I can see a Plugger as a smug stay-at-home soccer mom. (Smug! SMUG! Nothing against stay-at-home soccer/hockey moms!)

As for SUVs vs. trucks when it comes to moving things, I guess in rural America, like Nebraska, where everyone's hauling dirty farmy stuff, a truck bed is better than the back of an SUV. And a camper gives you protection from the rain. (Though it cuts off the height.)

But Lincoln is a city. With non-farm jobs. My (Nebraska) aunt and uncle, while they do have chickens and a pickup truck, have non-farm jobs. And they live in a teensy town that can't even be called a town. Maybe a village. Hamlet. Incorportated area. Sometimes they could be Pluggers, but I love them, so they're not.

ETA: Pluggers, you really missed your mark. I get that you're better than me because I have an SUV because I'm rich and stuff, while you're a common man with your pickup truck and camper shell. But now it's you guys with the SUVs (and still a pickup), while us fancy pants non-Pluggers have moved on to smaller cars (and some SUVs).

What would have been better is a real SUV, all muddy because you use it off-road, with a caption implying that non-Pluggers don't.

"You're a Plugger if you miss the mark when describing what makes you a Plugger."

Wednesday October 8th

The comic:


Then why watch in the first place?

That's not always a bad thing, you know. You can learn about somebody new, or a new book from a guest you've never heard of. I don't recognize all the guests on The Daily Show and Colbert Report, but that don't make me a Plugger.

Pluggers live in vacuums, I swear. He's got Tivo, because he never sees commercials for upcoming concerts and movies, and he doesn't watch anything but Jay Leno.

AND IT'S MICHAEL CERA! ONE R!

COME ON!

ETA: Oh, hey, this demolishes any teensy chance that Pluggers love Arrested Development! (Actually, that would be Brookins who didn't watch it, but shut up.)

No, I don't know who any of the other names are. I think there's a new tv show called Little Britain, but I don't know. And I'm not looking it up. I kinda recognize the other names.

Who cares?

It's Leno.

Waitasec... a Plugger watching Leno? Alright, Central Time Zone, so it's on at 10:30, not 11:30, but still. How could he stay up so late? Meth?

Wednesday October 1st

The comic:


Ok, this has happened to me. "Get up, you're not sleeping on the couch." "You can't sleep with your glasses on."


But not often enough to call it a pre-bedtime nap. Course, I'm not a Plugger.

That young Plugger is disturbing me. Maybe it's her hands.

Or the signs that she's young - the headband. Yes, the '80s are making a comeback with the young people (I saw a girl in an outfit that was as '80s as you could get without the acid wash this weekend), but no one wears a headband once they get boobs.

Now. Who sent this in? The daughter?It's not even insulting towards Pluggers, so she'd have to be serious about it. The wife? Only if she's a gold digger awaiting his death could she find anything amusing in her husband's constant sleep. The sleeper? If so, I just don't get the Plugger mindset. IT'S NOT FUNNY. And it's not cute, I'm not looking at this and going, "Been there, let me put this on the fridge!"

Friday September 12th

The comic:



Pluggers are stupid.

Wednesday September 10th

The comic:



Maybe this wouldn't happen if you wore the right glasses.

I like to sew, and I can't thread a needle on the first try, but that doesn't make me a Plugger. Why? I don't think it's profound. Also, they should have connected "storm" in the first half of the sentence with a related metaphor in the second.

And Brookins? Guys sew too. Or he could have written this about "Aunt" (who calls themselves that?) Jay Conlon, chuckling at his wife's failing eyesight, before snapping, "Hey! The button won't put itself back on the shirt!"

I like to think they're sexist and stupid at home as well.