Monday, April 30, 2007

Again with the species confusion.

Who knew a comic aimed at idiots could be so confusing? Hmmph.

Today's strip is a mess of sadism and confusion, nothing surprising.

First - the violence. I don't know about you, but the reason skinny breedless lady looks so scared is because grumpy BearMan has a gun aimed at her through his ugly jacket. Or at least a finger hidden to look like a gun. Their 'tough love' will be free, dammit!

Second - what she ordered is plainly a code word for something sadistic for him in the back room, and the lady behind the counter is new and knows about this but has yet to have someone order it. And he's twice her size and not happy to see her.

Third - "I'll order so he won't flirt with her, in the guise of helping him lose weight."

Mean bunch, these pluggers.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Do people still do this to their children?

I don't know if my mom did, and it's too early to ask her. Though there are zero pictures showing that.

We still do it to Wickett, the smallest of our 3 dogs. But he's barely a newborn baby's size. That kids looks like it belongs in an industrial size sink, or, I don't know, a bathtub.

But that's not what's so confusing about today's strip.

Is that his mother bathing him or a babysitter? Is she a fox or a rabbit? If she's a rabbit, isn't she in danger? I think bears are omnivores, eating fish and berries and picnic lunches, but you'd think a rabbit would still be in danger. Of course, she's one huge rabbit and she's still way bigger than the average fox. I have no idea what species that woman is! Her ears say rabbit, so I say rabbit.

If it's his mother, ooh! progressive. Interspecies dating or adoption.

Or there's a third, more sinister option - she has a pet bear, and pluggers are now pets.

And I just don't get it. Your average kitchen sink does not have whirlpool jets and is nowhere near as comfortable as your average hot tub.

And what, do they not have enough hot water to fill their tub?

Oh, she can't be the babysitter... since when do they bathe their charges?

I am quite confuzzled.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Chickens don't wear glasses!

I wear glasses!

Today's strip is another glimpse of the Dr. Moroe-style madness of the Pluggers' world.

They've taken our medicine.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Pluggers are Old 3

This is getting repetitive.

Annoying was 27 days ago.

In today's comic, we learn that Pluggers are *gasp* Old Farts.


Broke ones, if he hasn't been to the dentist in decades.

Or maybe he's been brushing real well.

No, he's broke and he had to buy dentures - look how sharp and straight they are! No one will believe they're real teeth - from someone who believes in 'inner beauty' and put the differences, the thing that makes the pair look like normal teeth, inside.

Or he got them capped decades ago and can't eat or drink anything because of the surgery, so he forgot about his teeth.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Old Pluggers... Day 2!

Today's cartoon, again, says that Pluggers are old.

But they're saying a bit too old for anyone to be breathing... take a look...

Um, my parents were in the Navy in the 80s and there were no sails on the boats.

Judging by a tour of the USS Alabama, there were little sails back then, either, and I think the USS Alabama was from the '40s.

So what Navy used sails in the last 50 years?

And also - the kid looks like a bear, but the grandfather looks like a dog!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Chickens don't clap!

Thankfully this mess isn't animated, or I'd have to fight somebody.

If you got that, you're awesome and you know it.

Woah - I'm a plugger, and so is my mom, according to today's strip.

I don't like that.

And cute, real cute, the dog listening to records.

I got a Prince 45 for Christmas this year, and my mom got a Phil Collins LP for a buck at Goodwill - no scratches, big success - as well.

She got the record player the year before - it plays CDs and has an AM/FM radio as well. I wrapped my favorite records individually and stuck the rest in a box. She didn't understand why she was opening her old records until...

But the dogs? They listen, sure, but they can't hold a record. Can you imagine the scratches?

My mom has Japanese LPs and 45s of American/British pop music of the 80s. She has so many great ones... the record player got me hooked on Prince.

But how does this tie into the whole Pluggers thing? My mom's not that old, her mom's still alive. As medical technology improves, we'll get older and older. In 50 years the cartoon will have MP3s and earbuds because our grandkids/kids will have the music sent straight to their brain at birth.

Would suck to have a song stuck in your head then, I imagine...

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Much less fuzzy today.

That doesn't mean today's strip will make more sense, it just means that I will.

Um no wait, maybe it's better if I'm asleep or upside down?

No, today's strip makes sense, it's just sad.

I've been using the label 'cheap', but these guys are cheap for a good reason - they're broke!

God, how old is that Beetle? I bet the trunk (where she carries her young to the market to pay for gas for this heap) is in the front, that's how old it is.

I'm putting this under 'common phrases', but I don't know what the hell an 'economy car' is. One that's cheap and runs cheaply and is new? What, I don't get it, but I wouldn't, I don't drive - but I do watch TV, and I've never heard this phrase used. I'm lost.

Nonsense - chickens can't drive, or Dixie the chicken-killing-chow would have been run over long ago. Case closed.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Oh, again with the fat thing.

If you find me lacking in coherent criticism, I am in pain and just woke up after 14 hours of sleep. And before I went to sleep, I threw up.

So, with that in mind...

Here's today's strip.

Pluggers are fat, pass it on.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Peanut Butter!

Someone read this blog yesterday and using time travel, sent today's strip in a few months ago.

Only logical answer.

I love peanut butter and grape jam sandwiches on wheat bread.

In fact, that was just my late breakfast/early lunch (11 AM). It's a hell of a lot easier than opening a can of tuna and mixing in just the right amount of mayo and relish.

As for the dogs - Mikey had eggs with his dog food this morning. Dixie and Wickett got no such luxury - Mikey's delicate. And ugly.

Anyways, I've never let them lick from the jar, but if I make a sandwich because I'm starving and half-way through the one sandwich, I'm nauseatingly full, I share the largess - but only for peanut butter ones. The others, they just get crusts.

I love giving them bread with a bit of peanut butter on it - the look on their face!

We also use Mikey and Wickett to pre-clean dishes. (Old, crappy dishwasher can't get peanut butter off a knife.) Only bread, rice, and eggs, though they want everything.

Dixie's the worst - that dog begs and begs, she hits you until you give her a sliver of whatever. 9 times out of 10, she rolls it around and spits it right out and one of the mini-goats picks it up.

I'd never let them lick the peanut butter jar - Wickett has a very furry muzzle and it's bad enough when he drinks water.

I'm glad it's not a dogman owning a dog. Unless that's his kid and he only gives his kid the last serving of peanut butter...?


Saturday, April 21, 2007

Pluggers are fat.

Here we go.

I wouldn't think Amish people could be fat, I mean, don't they have to churn their own peanut butter or something?

And the Amish are in Pennsylvania, Mr. Hoover! Not Texas!

I haven't seen a skinny male Plugger, though.

And the last one in our house to use the beanbag... Ginger, our cocker spaniel from the pound. The beanbag left long before she did.

So bravo on using an appropriate species this time, Brookins. A rhino could never sit in a beanbag.

We got rid of ours before the new millennium because beans were not staying in the bag.

Ginger still loved it.

Friday, April 20, 2007

It's Friday afternoon - take the rest of the day off.

Here we go.

Another one with no name given. Hmm.

I don't get it... a shovel... something I use to pick up dog poop... is the same as a backhoe, which requires more knowledge and fuel than a mere shovel.

And elbow grease... isn't that physical labor in general?

Does Brookins think you use some sort of grease with the name elbow to operate a backhoe?

I am lost.

And you wouldn't use a backhoe to spread fertilizer or weedkiller!

Not at the scale he's drawn.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Resisting urge to make a Brokeback Mountain joke...

Here we go, before I fall back asleep.

I can't, I can't, I can't!

That is like the only western that's come out that I remember. And I've only seen one Western, Blazing Saddles. Nobody named Duke was in that.

I don't know any Brokeback jokes, and I heard it was a tearjerker of a movie, if you weren't pissed at GAY COWBOYS on the screen.

This reminds me of a bit from MAD's parody of All in the Family - Archie's favorite movie is Joe, and he will watch it until all the hippies are dead.

Again with the Pluggers = Old People. Old, clueless people.

Okay, it was sent in by a woman, but a man plays the plugger. Did she send in something about her dad? Her boyfriend? Her brother? Herself?

It's weird.

Pluggers are narrow-minded freaks.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Hi Rhino Guy!

Here we go.

This strip confused me at first - I saw the plaid jacket on the Rhino and assumed he was the salesman. Don't most used-car dealers wear horrible jackets?

Ha! The person who sent it in is from California, and I heard they have the highest gas prices in the nation, requires a lot of driving, and that might make your car crappy in a hurry.

But I don't think rhinos drive in California.

Do they?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Pluggers are Milquetoasts

No big surprise really. That word has little to do with milk or toast, sadly.

Here's today's panel.

Finally! Some cohabitation that's right!

They have the same nose.

Now what kind of disagreement ends in "Yes, dear"?

"I'm leaving your stupid ass for a Kennedy"?

"You're fat and ugly - take out the trash"?


"Lose some weight, you lard-ass"?

None of my parents' fights ever end that way - trust me, 7 years after the divorce, they still fight. The last one was at her lawyer's office, and he got every word in. Her lawyer kicked her when she tried to talk.

Before the divorce, it ended when the girls scurried upstairs in fear. Or, one after one pleasant dinner fight the summer before the divorce, we didn't have to eat our green beans.

Though now my dad is like the guy in the picture, except he lost all his fat because he's diabetic now. He looks like hell. He called and got pissy with me about paying half of my medical bills ("You're 18, you're an adult *click" ::throw phone down:: Then he left a message saying he'd pay the bills, he just can't read them, all milquetoast-like.)

Back to the cartoon.

It does fit the 'hard-working' aspect - you don't want to piss off your boss, union or no union.

It was sent in by a woman, yet the Plugger's a man in this one. Was it sent in by a wife who always wins arguments? Or sent in by one who always loses, then calls her divorce lawyer?

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

Monday, April 16, 2007

Pluggers are Amish now?

It's called a watch, people!


And the cohabitation thing, again, Dogman will kill ChickenLady!

Marlene what'sherface lives in Montana. There are farms in Montana. Farms where dogs may kill chickens if they get out!

Though that's a big chicken or a dog the size of Wickett...

I didn't know the Amish lived in Montana... wait... they had to use technology to take those pictures... I'm lost...

Sunday, April 15, 2007

There is a cock-a-roach upstairs.

And Dixie? My cock-a-roach killing dog? In my mom's room, asleep.

Oh well, it scuttled into Becky's room.

Onto today's strip.

I can honestly say I was expecting more church ones from the Plugger crowd. I've done 3 Sunday strips, and nada!

We don't have a Dairy Queen here anymore.

I protest!

How is that in anyway dieting?

Oh, it's plugger dieting, they hold the only healthy thing in the meal, yuk yuk yuk.

No, you get a fat-ass burger and hold the bread because you're "on Atkins."

I hate cherries.

Saturday, April 14, 2007


RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's cartoon confirmed it.

Are old people 80% of the population now? Especially poor old people?

You young people best get to makin' babies or they'll take over!

And who says they have deep pockets? That sounds dirty.

Oh, and dogs don't like wearing pants, a shirt, glasses, or a hat.

Why do you lie to the American people Brookins?

Friday, April 13, 2007

I just don't have the energy.

But I can't sleep!

Here we go.

One - why would skinny dogman ask this question? Did she call and say her ice maker was broken?

Two - her young are in there, dogman!!! Run for it!!!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

This is disturbing.

In a number of ways.

Check it out.

Oh, look pluggers are cheap and reuse things. That's good. My mom actually has the bottom of an egg carton in a top dresser drawer, holding some jewelry.

That's okay, I keep my eyebrow rings in a cup with Johnny Depp's face on it.

But what's disturbing about this is the star. The bird lady! The chicken lady! They have a dog/kangaroo/rabbit lady... why did you use the chicken lady?

Egg cartons... in Georgia... hold CHICKEN EGGS!


Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I feel better and if today's pluggers bring me down,

I am quitting.

It's hard enough to look at damned thing, then I have to think of something to say besides how stupid/offensive. I don't know how Barb, DaveyK, and Josh do it every day!

Actually, I got over yesterday's cartoon, since I had more important things to worry about, but I don't think I can ever think of drawstrings the same way. (Since my stay in the 'behavioral health ward', not since yesterday's cartoon.) I pulled the drawstring out of my pants yesterday, one end had been untied and kept going into the pants - especially after being washed and dried. I was sick of it, so I yanked it out and threw it away. For the record, I never tied the ties, nor did they serve any purpose. Some pants come with pre-tied drawstrings, and my eeyore PJ pants did, and they just cut through the not and threw it away.

Onto today!

These pants have an elastic waist, and since I've been the same height since I got them, so they've fit through every weight. But not my height - when I first got them, and even today, they get soaked if I walk through wet grass. But most of my pants do. And there's marker on them, because my sister needed them because they fit the gym clothes requirements and the "gym is cold!" And she writes on her pants. And mine, if she thinks there hers. Boredom in school. Girl needs to take a magazine and read instead of writing all over herself.

Today's comic
, I mean.

It doesn't make sense! It's fat DogMan, and he's holding the phone up to his ear, which is down. Mikey's the only one with flopped over ears, and he hears pretty well, so I guess it would work, but if I can't hear the phone through my mp3 player ear buds(turned off) and my hair, how can he hear through his ear?

So pluggers are not in management or any business where they'd go to meetings on a regular basis. Which makes since, because people like that aren't "hard working", especially since they're the ones that decide how much the average worker gets paid!

So it does fit the pluggers description - finally!

I've been on the cell and home phone at the same time. One rang while I was on the other once, and a couple weeks ago, the doc's office said the pharmacy phone number I'd given them went to an auto-body shop, so I was on the cell with the nurse and called the pharmacy on the home phone. (If no one answers in the drugstore area, it gets transferred to an auto-body area. But they've known me since forever, so I'm sticking with them. And even though they aren't a chain, you can refill prescriptions by phone, though the first voice has such a southern accent!)

So, yeah, this fits the plugger creed, and I've done that, but never as a 'conference call'. More bad timing on the caller's part than anything.

When my mom was discussing the trip to New Mexico, she never used two phones at once. So I don't know anyone who does that.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I don't like today's pluggers.

It brought back some terrible memories for me.

Here it is.

Not of being that fat, I am fat enough for the drawstrings to be whatever, dangling about a foot below my waist (guys' pj pants have the best designs).

And I have a pair of short shorts that are like the plugger's in the picture. Little nubs sticking out. But I don't have as much of a gut - I wear short shorts with confidence, unless it's so nice I must play outside, then I take a blanket outside and let the dogs drool on me and my book because I am allergic to grass.

80%? Getting closer, huh?

As to the bad memories, just read these. I don't remember if I wrote down the part of them removing the drawstrings from my pants, but they did, so I wouldn't hang myself with them. Only one pair of pants escaped, but all my comfy pants are tainted - no drawstring. I was looking for vaseline last night (cracked feet - don't hurt, but look bad) and then anti-itch cream and I saw, I saw a creme container with the numbers 1624 in purple marker. *shakes* That's the room I stayed in.

Thanks a lot, pluggers.

Monday, April 9, 2007

This is no longer a spam blog!

I should celebrate by frying up some spam!

Do you *really* want to know why I'm in horrific pain?

Because I have no problem telling you why - I had my modesty about my health burnt off me in November 2003 - again, I'm more than happy to tell.

I'm still a spam blog! Maybe I was marked by a blogging plugger fan... they could exist... Anything's possible.

Onto today's cartoon - RIP Johnny Hart, you made the most Christian propaganda filled caveman comic since Jack Chick, but rest in peace nonetheless man. I can't look at Pluggers, I'm in mourning for a comic strip creator I assumed long dead and didn't care about.


I hate you.

I've click on the link. The things I do for you people!

I just e-mailed the e-mail at the bottom of the screen, asking if this was okay. And got a message back telling me it was undeliverable.

Today's strip is scarily similar to my life.

Okay, I'll stop making fun.

I mean, honestly, I do that!

But I'm not retired, I'm just a sick kid taking a year off between high school and uni.

Sometimes I do that, sometimes I don't. I set my alarm so I can be up and take my morning meds before 10am, and then go back to bed with an alarm set for the doctor appointment.

I'm a plugger today!

Note on canines vs. Dogman, Wickett can turn the cable off by sitting on the remote, or he can change a channel. They can be effective alarms, what with the whining, slapping, crying, 'LET ME OUT'ing they do - Mikey did that at 4:45 Saturday morning and I couldn't go back to bed until 4pm, and only for 3 hours.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

One whole week!

And still I am spamming the intertubes.

But a week.

Where's my cookie?

I do get a cookie, don't I?

Some sour candy then, that's what I really love and I'm in pain so I should get sour skittles, but I know tomorrow my dad will leave chocolate and peeps on the front porch. The peeps always go to school - Becky has yet another weird friend who loves them. (I mean yet another as in yet another weird friend - she's the only one I know who likes Peeps.)

I think 80% of the population is celebrating Easter today, I'm an agnostic who could care less and I'm still benefiting in the form of candy.

But today's strip makes no mention of Easter. What's going on? Is this 80% of the population in a non-Christian nation? I know, I know, America's been taken over by ruthless atheists and you must hide your bible in copies of Darwin and Douglas Adams, but still.

With this strip, we hit everything. Anti-technology? Yup. Cheap? Oui. A plugged up take on a common phrase? All right Mike Ault, you hit the trifecta for my weekly anniversary! (Bricknell is such a cool name for a town... I wonder how the locals pronounce it.)

And, sadly, we see plugger kids. Or Plugger Mini-Mes. Or maybe, Pluggers are midgets! I figured it out.

Hello Rhino! Nice to see you as a kid, I thought you'd burned all those old photos?

Does that toaster only have one slot?

Who has a toaster? We have a toaster oven. It works better than the microwave and the stove/oven - two burners don't work and the microwave... bah... but the toaster oven does just fine.

As for pictures on the fridge instead of a book tracing your genealogy... eh...

Let me check the photos on our fridge - 4! Only four pictures. And only one contains relatives!

My sister sitting on the couch at my married cousin's house in Kansas with our other cousin, who is a year younger than her. Above that is an old, faded picture of my mom's childhood dog - her mom sends packages of pictures every few months, and I guess this dog touched Mom enough to put on the fridge (none of the dogs we've had since then aren't on there - though Mom and I both have dogs as our computer wallpaper). The other two are of friends. One is my friend's senior picture and the other is a random snapshot of a friend's baby.

Not quite a family tree.

Our fridge is filled more with coupons, youth things for Becky, and notes about phone numbers and why we should switch to LED bulbs.

The family pictures are in albums on the same shelf as a relative's journal from the '30s - it had a prayer to Hitler pasted in the front cover (Mom's mom's family is Czech) as well as mom's yearbooks from high school.

The official family tree people are my great aunt Mary in California and my Aunt Jenny in Nebraska. Why Aunt Mary? She's rich, old, and a teacher. She has the time and money to look it up. It will be passed onto Mom and Aunt Jenny fully when she dies, and then I want it.

Why Aunt Jenny? Mom's dad's family has been in Nebraska since forever and some never left - when we went there, we heard of heroic acts of grandparents with a few greats in front of their name.

As for my dad's family, ech. For the most part, they don't get along. Plus my dad is the only son of his father to keep his stepfather's name. (He has a half-brother who is legally that name.) So if my sister and I looked up our family with my dad's name, we'd reach a dead end or someone else's family. Thankfully, we know the truth.

Anyways, cheap pluggers - can't bother to archive the photos in an album so they can be dragged out to embarass you in front of your date or eat up the time spent at an old relative's. No, all on the fridge. Plus, it does cost money to research your family tree more than a few generations. Don't even mention family reunions. That is something I envy about some of the families where no one ever really leaves, while at the same time hating it for the kids - they can't get away with anything - they're related to someone in town. Of course, that came in handy for a classmate of mine - he had a job waiting for him after graduation.

Anti-technology - digital pictures are awesome, and online photo albums are free and easy. And they last longer. It was nice to be in Washington, log in to my photobucket account and see familiar pictures. It's also easy to use technology to research your family tree, or at least organize it. (My cousin Jessica is about a year younger than our second cousin Logan. Logan's mother is our first cousin. Jessica and Sabrina come from the same generation when it comes to the family, but not when it comes to age. It really amazes me, is all.)

Common phrases - that ain't no tree - it's a bush.

"You know you're a plugger if your family tree doesn't fork." (Apologies to Jeff Foxworthy.)

So... eh.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

What the hell?

This is a spam blog.

I have to enter word verification now to publish a post. What the fuckity fuck?

It just hit me - Pluggers probably like spam the food!

(So do I, fried up, with mayo on wheat bread. Yeah, wheat.)

I clicked on the question mark and got this

Your blog requires word verification

Blogger's spam-prevention robots have detected that your blog has characteristics of a spam blog. (What's a spam blog?) Since you're an actual person reading this, your blog is probably not a spam blog. Automated spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and we sincerely apologize for this false positive.

Before we can turn off mandatory word verification on your posts we'll need to have a human review your blog and verify that it is not a spam blog. Please fill out the form below to get a review.

Find out more about how Blogger is fighting spam blogs.

What is a spam blog you ask?

About Spam Blogs

What Are Spam Blogs?

As with many powerful tools, blogging services can be both used and abused. The ease of creating and updating webpages with Blogger has made it particularly prone to a form of behavior known as link spamming. Blogs engaged in this behavior are called spam blogs, and can be recognized by their irrelevant, repetitive, or nonsensical text, along with a large number of links, usually all pointing to a single site.

Spam blogs cause various problems, beyond simply wasting a few seconds of your time when you happen to come across one. They can clog up search engines, making it difficult to find real content on the subjects that interest you. They may scrape content from other sites on the web, using other people's writing to make it look as though they have useful information of their own. And if an automated system is creating spam posts at an extremely high rate, it can impact the speed and quality of the service for other, legitimate users.

I'm a little scared to enter in the word verification on the first page - what if this is spam to the spambots? How can it be? I know the comic makes little sense, but still.

It just started today, April 7th.

Zoom Zoom

Today's strip is hip and topical.

Oh, I kill me sometimes.

So, let's see how this matches up to reality. I live in a rural area, so I see vehicles like that, but not 80% of the cars on the road.

I decided it was DogMan driving, because my dog Wickett likes to drive when he goes on a car ride. He stands on mom's lap (if Becky's driving, I've got him on a leash, in the backseat) and puts his front paws on the steering wheel. He doesn't have the strength to honk the horn, though, poor dear.

And Dixie likes to drive, as this picture shows.

Mikey, however, prefers to curl up in a ball and wait for it to be over. But but no one makes Captain Stupid get in there, he jumps in freely.

Back to the uglier dogs.

This strip can actually be used for some socio-political commentary. The average person doesn't care about hybrid vehicles, not because they don't worry about the environment, but because they can't afford to.

I'm in pain, my brain has short-circuited, is he wearing a driving cap?

Friday, April 6, 2007

Rhino Guy!

Today's strip marks RhinoMan's first appearance in the blog. Yay!

And rhino, dude, you're a cheap idiot.

"magic marker"? Ken Hoover, you live in Missouri. It rains in Missouri from time to time, or so I would imagine, since I live in western Tennessee!

Just went outside - our mailbox has 4 stickers on each side. They've been there for years, when we had to get new stickers. A quick look up and down the block showed more stickers. They're not Spongebob stickers meant for paper, they're meant for outdoor use on metal, so they survive the sun and the rain.

I imagine this was sent in by someone who lives in an apartment?

I've never see address numbers written on a mailbox. Never, ever, ever!

Even in apartments, the numbers aren't written, the names are.

And rhinos can't hold magic markers, they don't have hands or thumbs. So there.

I'm not a plugger today and I know no one who is.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Is it really insomnia if you're tired?

April 5, 2007. 2007 people! SEVEN! And we still don't know what we're calling this damned decade.

I'd say it's a favor for my sister, but it's more because I just figured it out and I don't want it to escape.

Onto the strip.

I'm going with RabbitLady - those are pretty big ears.

So pluggers are cheap.

Not really, taking care of a dog can get quite expensive.

I like the sweatband. Classy. So we're in the '80s. Cool, Prince is relevant again.

I'm a plugger, I guess, though my mom wants to sign us up for the Y.


The dogs are not much for joyously running with their owners behind them. You get a good pace going, then wham! something must be sniffed and peed on. And don't get me started on mole holes, Dixie.

I agree with the sentiment - puppies are the best damn thing in the world when it comes to exercise. And staying young, having entertainment (there's this thing coming out of their butt, see...), and just having fun.

But an exercise club offers more than chasing idiots and picking up poop. I hope, at the prices they charge!

The best time to get a puppy - before your old dog dies. Dixie's 10, but you wouldn't know it, the way she plays with Wickett, who is 4. She was fixed after her first heat, but he just got his chopped off (more entertainment - he'd be splayed out on the couch, decide to get up, jump down, take a few steps, and whomp! drop his butt, it felt funny - since then he's become determined to catch his tail).

They play so much, and then she licks him - I think it's the size that makes me think of a mommy animal with her pup. They both have curly tails and they're both too, too cute.

But um, if we ever join the Y again, I'm still walking Dixie.

And it is not cheaper to buy a puppy than it is to join a health club!

Trust me, we just got two idiots fixed. What we paid is enough for a year or two at the Y. And Dixie needs her summer shearing soon, that ain't cheap.

So if you buy a dog instead of gym membership to get in shape because it seems cheaper, you're an idiot.

If you buy a dog instead of a gym membership because you want to get in shape outdoors and have one of the best friends you will ever have, you're not.

And seriously, get two if you can. They have so much fun, and they're less clingy if they've got each other to harass while the humans are doing... human things, like petting other dogs. I swear, come home from a dogless school, and you're sniffed for ten minutes. "Yes, Dixie, I spend 7 hours playing with other dogs."

And also, bad RabbitLady! Puppies need harnesses for running. Collars are only good for short walks, or just slow walks. Harness - no choking, gasping, theatrical death scene on the sidewalk and they can pull with their shoulders instead of their necks. Much better.

I do tell everyone I see walking a dog on a collar that they should consider a harness. One owner listened, and Misty the Golden Retriever always has her harness on - it grows with her, so cool.

And of course... it would make more sense if it was DogLady chasing her "pet" rabbit. (She's on the no-carb diet.)

And no, none of ours have killed a bunny. Becky had one for less than a month (it was eeeeeeeeeevil) before it bounced to another teenage owner. It met the dogs once, and Dixie was quite interested in the little bouncy thing.

What I don't get is why she went to "kill" at the site of the bunny, but small dogs that act like a rabbit get a free pass, as long as they don't come near her food, her human, or hump her when she's grumpy (lookin' at you, Mikey - less than a week since his vasectomy and he already tried to renew his relationship with her back. Wickett was classic - he humped her leg once.)

So no, not a plugger here. We got Dixie because we'd left the base and could have more than 2 dogs and she was a gorgeous, chubby ball of red fluff. Mikey - I'd just had my first surgery, Jasmine had died a couple months ago, we needed a trio. Wickett... well...

Every dog we got we got because we loved them at first sight and because we're dog people. I didn't get a new bike for my 16th birthday because I wanted to lose weight, I got it because I love riding my bike.

So, I hope no one is a Plugger in this case.

When you discover that Puppy grows older and costs more than a health club membership, it's not my fault you were an idiot, and it's definitely not Pup's. You do not buy a dog for 'exercise' alone - that can be a benefit, something on your mind, but you get a dog because you want a dog, flea medicine rubbed on the couch and all.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Oh leave me alone.

Chloraseptic tablets taste bad and my mom's on me to make a list of questions for the doc, when he didn't answer any of our questions from last time except to get all pissy and make mom cry.

But that matters not, because if I don't look at this strip, someone else will. And I don't want to be responsible for that.

(Ah man, it can't be April fourth two thousand seven already, can it? I was just getting used to 2004.)

Today's has me all confused!

So the dogman's living with the bird lady. Does that cause confusion?

Because this smiling mutt
(Er, substitute a dead chicken for her rug)
killed not one, not three, but two chickens at my aunt's farm last summer. And our cocker spaniel who died a year and a half ago regularly killed the birds that came in our backyard. Dixie's shown no interest, but she does kill palmetto bugs all the time - if he shows a buglady living with dogman, chaos!

The senior plugger's using a cell phone that flips open. Does that cause confusion?

Yes, because most of the time these people are so scared of technology, you'd think a senior one would be worse!

And finally, does this apply to me or anyone else?

It did, but I am one sick puppy. I only have one doctor in the phonebook of my cell phone right now.

So... maybe I am a plugger?

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Anti-technology Pluggers - my first one!

Today's strip opens a lot of questions.

A lot of disturbing questions.

I've decided she's a rabbit - going by the ears.

How can a rabbit - even an anthromorphized own a dog. Dogs kill rabbits!

And aw, "Lots of pluggers everywhere" don't need no fancy machine to shread important papers. But they've got a TV. Which is it pluggers? Are you anti-technology, or only anti-new-technology? Make up your mind!

I have had paper shred by a dog before, but judging by size, Choc was the RabbitLady's size. I left my paperback copy of Harriet the Spy on my cousin's back porch and when I looked around, it was gone.

We have a shredder now, it's so cool.

So I'm not a plugger today.

And like The Comics Curmudgeon says all the time: how can animals own animals? Why couldn't Pluto talk, while Goofy could? They looked like the same type of animal.

Of course, if you've read Wicked, you'd have an answer. There are Animals (and you pronounce the capital letter somehow) and then there are animals. The Cowardly Lion was an Animal. Toto was an animal. Animals are not anthromorphized, but they can talk like humans and could hold jobs like humans before the Wizard's draconian laws fell into place.

But somehow I doubt Wicked plays a part in Mr. Brookins' work. Why does he use anthromorphized animals instead of humans?

Monday, April 2, 2007

Monday the 2nd


I've decided to save each Plugger to my desktop, then upload it to blogger and then put a link to under it each day. Why? I can't find a permanent archive that includes the Sundays. If you can, tell me so I won't get in trouble!

But that means I have to look at them, and I'm kinda lazy, and you suck.

All right, onto today's.

Okay, um, sometimes that is true for me. But I'm 18 and have so severe abdominal pains my doctor wrote on a note explaining why I wasn't in school (University wanted to know why I took a year off after graduating from high school - "to sleep in and watch HGTV, dude!" was not an acceptable answer) that the pain and pain medication made school and work impossible.

At least right now, I will be better by the time school starts, I have to be!

But I'm not 80% of the population. I think the papers that carry Pluggers do so out of fear of an old-people rebellion. Because most of the panels are about old people. (For right now, old people does not mean "everyone older than me".)

Who do you know besides the sick, very fat, or elderly that doesn't want to pick something up?

We're not 80% of the population, and if you can't pick something up, you're not a hard working industrialist. My Uncle Floyd is. He works in a welding type plant thing, for Reinke, which is the biggest employer in what should be 'plugger' country - rural Nebraska. Yes, there are non-rural parts. I bought two Mads in Kearney, which has a college. I thought of going there, but Memphis means instate tuition, which saves me money. (The other main employer - taking care of those who came back to die or never left - my Aunt Jenny works in nursing homes.)

This was sent in by someone in Iowa. That's right next to Nebraska, to the east! It's still in the Corn Belt! They must use Reinke. But it was sent in by someone from Cedar Rapids, which is the second largest city in the state. So it's not about farming and welding, but city living. But it's a city in the heart of America, so that makes it okay.

So, I am a plugger today.

You're not if you're able-bodied, you able-bodied snob, always walking around without pain pills or a cane, you make me sick. Not literally, that hasn't happened since the Saturday before Christmas. But my dog did just throw up! For shame.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Sunday the 1st

There is no one in today's credited but the comic's creator, Gary Brookins.

This Plugger is an anthromorphized bear, but then again, all the characters are anthromorphized animals. It's a little creepy at times, as 80% of the American population is not anthromorphized animals, at least they weren't last time time I checked.

So bearman is doing his spring cleaning outside. Judging by what I saw outside yesterday, the first Saturday of spring-like weather, this involves yard work. The first day of spring was less than 2 weeks ago, and everyone's yards have shot up a foot, ours included.

But that's not what bearman is doing.

His spring cleaning involves cleaning out the bed of an old truck. Some identifiable things: A bottle marked 'OIL', a bottle marked 'H2O', a red can of 'Cola', 2 McDonalds type cups with straw - one with the golden arches, a pizza box that says HOT! (PIZZA) YUM!, and oh man, is that one of those styrofoam McDonalds' hamburger holders?

That's how long it takes a plugger to do 'spring cleaning'? More than 15 years? And I understand the bottles and hamburger wrappers, but not the pizza box. Pizza is not something you eat while driving, especially not a large pizza. Why would it go in the back?

So that doesn't match my reality, does it match yours?

The longest we've kept trash in the truck bed is a couple days - a Pepsi bottle, usually. When I see it, I grab it and put it in the trashcan. I don't wait until 'spring cleaning' time.

I think most Pluggers strips are based on phrases used by the other(elite) 20% of the population and what it means to a hard-working American.

'Spring cleaning' to most people means opening the windows, putting away all the winter things, getting out the summer stuff indoors. And outdoors, it means mowing the yard, planting tulips so stray dogs and cats can knock them over, and trying to stop fleas before they start by keeping the grass short and soaked in poison. (And fertilizer, you want it to grow more? )

But not for pluggers. They spend all summer, fall, and winter throwing fast food junk in the back of their truck, so much that the trashcan is overflowing.


The first post - Happy April Fool's Day!

This blog is not a prank, however, it is my attempt to joing the high ranks of The Comics Curmudgeon, Duck and Cover, and Crap Every Time.

My normal blog is Oh Monkey Trumpets - home to everything and anything, but I will no longer talk about the comic Pluggers there, because that is what this blog is about.

There is another blog devoted to Pluggers called Plugwatch 200x, and while it is quite interesting, it is not daily snarky comments about the strip, like the three listed above. So a vacuum existed, and I feel today is as good as any other to fill it.

Questions? Comments? You can leave them below or e-mail me at otrumpets(at)

I am such a loser that I will read and respond to every comment, even if you stumble across this blog in June and want to comment on the April 2nd post.



The comic is reproduced here for purposes of review only, and all rights remain with the creator, Gary Brookins.