Saturday April 11th

The comic:


For suggesting chicken to his chicken wife, she's going to club him to death.

Monday December 29th

The comic:


This was a Sunday strip, I'm sure, because I know I'd remember this.

He looks as scared as if he did kill somebody.

So is this before the murder? She's playing detective before she kills him and turns him into cookies to replace the ones he stole. The grandkids are coming over later, you know! The blood? In the pitcher, so they can have Kool-Aid!

Rainy day Plugger sighting

Today's Bizarro!



Notice they, at least, look like real chickens.

Tuesday October 7th

The comic:


That is one convoluted piece of nonsense.

I like the way he's looking at that mug. That's not a half-lidded resigned look of an old man who bounced between jobs all his life because they keep closing, that's the wide-eyed look of a guy who's bounced between jobs all his life because he keeps destroying the places and feasting on his coworkers.

Thursday September 18th

The comic:

Oh COME ON!

Pluggers are the ones getting abducted! This is nonsense.

Plus, she forgot which of her neighbors' remains are in which container. All good murderer cannibals must have a label maker. Tsk tsk.

Saturday May 17th

The comic:


THERE ARE PLUGGER CHICKENS! Maybe this is a neighborhood barbecue and she's there! I'm going to say yes, so I can use my cannibalism tag.

And non-Pluggers bird watching is much more humane, because isn't just recording a sighting or taking a picture?

It does not surprise me that Pluggers don't bird watch. (Unless it's a bird they're going to shoot.)

I don't, but that's because it doesn't interest me. Pluggers probably think of it as some silly liberal sissy thing to do.

Thursday May 8th

The comic:


Another classic. I don't think I've seen that one. Kudos for picking one from before April 2007!

So non-Pluggers label their leftovers? Or use them soon enough to remember what they are?

We got Chinese Tuesday night, and I labeled all the containers, much to my sister's amusement. The pen would make squiggles elsewhere on the lid, but not where I was writing!


Er, anyways.

Pluggers are wasteful, as well.

That's all I got.

Pluggers is not the most exciting or interesting comic out there, but they usually try.

But this?

This is pathetic. It's a statement of something that happens to people, lots of people. Good people who don't deserve to be lumped in with Pluggers.

Hey, struggling cartoonists looking to break through to newspapers! Someone got paid for this!

The cartoon, not this post.

ETA: Dammit! Josh hit the cannibalism and I didn't.

Friday May 2nd

The comic:



We've seen Pluggers as birds.

We've seen pissed off Pluggers as well, in a foul mood, but that's not the point.

I have a category devoted to the chicken looking Plugger.

This is so wrong.

I'm just glad we don't get to see them today.


ETA: Of course, Josh covered this one. And he's funnier. And touched on the product placement, which I ignored!

Wednesday the 12th

The comic:



Yes, Josh covered this. On the 12th. Whatever.

It seems odd that Pluggers don't hunt, but I guess I'm grateful that they don't. How disturbing a sight would that be? The meat at the counter is just meat, you don't see it as an animal, thank God!

Unless that Plugger is packing heat right now and is distracting the clerk with his order before killing and grilling him.

Now that I'm looking at the order, good god, that's a lot of meat. You could never catch all that in the wild. (And a farmer would shoot you for shooting his turkey or pig!)

So non-Pluggers hunt? And eat what they shoot?

Erm, no.

Non-Pluggers don't call a store (deli, butcher's, meat section of Kroger) "hunting grounds."

Much better.

Friday the 28th

The comic:

You're also a Plugger if you haven't been to the dentist in more than 20 years!

How is this number 3? What is remarkable?

Pluggers are old.

Pluggers are lazy.

Pluggers are hermits.

Pluggers kill and eat their dentists, and much like certain snakes, can go decades without a meal.

Tuesday the 4th

The comic:

That Plugger is about to get some hot liquid dumped on his head.

Pluggers are so happy to be proles, they refuse any attempts to better themselves.

God I hate them.

God I love that name. "Sandy Love Quay"

I hoped Blogger would be down all day...

Then I wouldn't have to look at today's comic today.



See what I mean?

Okay, this is obviously a Plugger version of something else.

And makeup done by little children can be extreme.

But I thought makeover shows were for the average, salt-of-the-earth, blue collar American - watching or starring.

Not that I'd ever willingly watch a makeover show. I'll read the MAD parody. They did the extreme home makeover, and the person who was having his home redone had a comically tragic life - he's only a head in a jar. Pluggers are that pathetic!

Something sinister - there must be some way to corrupt this -

That little girl is like Amelia Bedelia, she thought that dressing food for cooking (preparing it, I guess, I remember my Amelia Bedelia books, but not how to cook) meant putting makeup and clothes on it. Amelia Bedelia put a turkey in a cute little outfit, as I recall.

So that's why they're not on an extreme makeover show - would you put the Sawney Beane family on any show but Fear Factor?




Friday's comic will be attacked on my laptop in my dorm room! On Friday? Maybe...

Turns out that wasn't my 100th post.

Drafts show up in the count I see, and every time I go to start one, look at the comic (like yesterday) and throw up, there's a blank draft added to my post count - for me.

Unless there are more beyond the first page in edit posts, this is my 99th.

And I won't be doing a thing from my laptop until the 23rd or 24th - we don't have wireless routers here, and what's the fun of hooking it up to the modem this computer's plugged in to - one internet will be easy on me, I'm a computer idiot. If there are free classes somewhere on or around campus, sign me up.

And it's my BIRTHDAY! NINETEEN, baby.

Almost 2 decades. Yes, today's adults were born... in the late '80s!

That's why I'm the perfect person to judge Pluggers.

Yesterday's hurt my head, but I'm braver, stronger now.

I understand that this is a common problem, not that I've seen my mom struggle with it - she looks at her account online, and keeps up with the ledger. As did I, when I had one and used it regularly. As I will, in college.

But it's a big step, admitting the existence of Sudoku more than once, so I don't expect Pluggers to understand computers or calculators.

But... where are there monthly Sudoku challenges? You can find a different one for each hour...

Maybe Reader's Digest (ecch) has one, and that's the only monthly magazine these simple idiots get.

I hate Sudoku being abused by Pluggers, and I've never mastered it. And I call it Soduku in my head a lot.


Today's sucks just as much:


More interspecies lovin'!

All I have to say is... ew... wet fur...

And yes, they're poor. WE GET IT.

How do they fit in that thing?

Inflatable pools can be a bitch, we had a long rectangular one for years, it was pretty big, as pools like that go, but not very deep. We got a round plastic one for the dogs a couple years back, they ignored it.

Now, I wish we had a pool. But a sprinkler below the trampoline was just as fun.

But what they have is a travesty, an abomination unto the pool gods.

Why? They're pluggers.

With the 100+ heat we've been having, I'm going to assume that they're going to be boiled alive after being knocked out with the heavy end of a tranquilizer gun. (The tranquilizer would taint the meat.)

By who?

Their math challenged neighbors, of course.

Not that late.

I haven't looked at it yet, I'm afraid of what horror awaits me today.



It's worse than I expected. My expectations are too high.

There are two "jokes" today - for whatever reason.

I wonder if both were sent in by Jay, or if Brookins came up with the drawing all on his own.

And hey, the person cooking spam a lot (groan - how dare they mention Monty Python anywhere near this tripe!) doesn't have to be a woman - the reason he eats the same damn meal is because he never bothers to cook or buy anything that tastes better.

I like spam, fried on bread with mayo. Wheat bread, I'm not completely hopeless.

But that's just wrong, eating it more than 3 times a month, let alone a week!

That pink mess is too damn salty for more than one sandwich! And I've had the dubious pleasure of eating it mixed with scrambled eggs on white bread. "Delicious." *toss in garbage can*

If this woman makes him spam that many times a week, she wants him dead.

And then she'll eat him. Though he won't be healthy, not with all that spam.

Complicated murder-suicide here.

There, I salvaged today's comic. I win!

Hey. I've got too many comics to look at and try to make sense.

Or I could go mow the yard...

I'll take the Pluggers air-conditioned bullet.


Hey! I know I said I'd be back last Wednesday, but after the DSL was hooked up, the computer went crazier than usual and the tech guy was like, "you have a virus, you have to get this fixed."

It was supposed to be back a week ago, but wasn't. I left for Frosh Camp on Monday, and when I got home yesterday afternoon, it was back!

High speed internet is so awesome!

Onto something less awesome, eh?


Monday the 16th -



For some reason, when I first looked at this, I thought of Britain - like she's a British chicken. (Isn't bird British slang for a girl?)

But it's not. Yet another North Carolina submission.

Oh wow, take that hippies! We don't need to do a damn thing to help the environment, because we hang our clothes on a line outside.

That's actually something I've done, I did it a lot last summer and the summer before, but now, we have no line, and no place to put it. We do have a folding metal rack, and it holds excess or things that can't be dried in a dryer. I don't know about Wilmington, maybe it's not humid there in the summer, but I do know that one sunny day, I put my clothes outside. Hours later, they were still damp. No wind, only humidity. I think the clothes got wetter.

Actually, this is a pretty decent joke by Plugger standards. And it is what we should do to save money and energy, and it's a lot cheaper than a windmill or solar panels. (I'd love to have solar panels over my room - it bakes all day, reaching 80 degrees and staying there until the wee hours of the morning. I'd love to use solar panels to get it down to a crisp 70 all day.)

But that's silly.

As for the drawing, it looks too damn windy. I've never had dripping laundry, where you can see the water droplets. I know summer in the south, and when it's windy and sunny and after noon, there's a very good chance there will be a short, messy thunderstorm that can cool down the rest of the day, or steam it up.

The water droplets could be rain, in which case, yay, stupid Pluggers. I win!


Tuesday the 17th:

Of course he eats at all you can eat buffets! Big shocker there. I think Dilbert's dad lived at an all you can eat buffet restaurant for years - it was open 24 hours, and there were wetnaps in the men's room or something.

He sold his blood to pay for this meal. I hope he has some citrus.

As for "quality equals quantity" - um... er... he's broke. This is all he'll have to eat for a week or so, even though he eats fellow Pluggers. (I believe that's a chicken leg on his plate.) So yes, the more food he eats, the less chance he has of passing out from hunger on the walk home or losing his figure.

And of course, it also points to stupidity. Virginians!

Plugger Virginians!


Wednesday the 18th:



Ha ha ha! GPS is stupid, all you need is a map, dur.

Not.

One of my sisters at Frosh Camp (don't ask) got horribly lost at Orientation and walked all the way to Oak Court Mall! She had a map of campus, but she didn't know where she was.

That's the problem with maps and the greatness of GPS - it tells you where you are, you don't have to guess.

And if this Plugger hates technology so much, why doesn't his car have '30s suicide doors? Why doesn't it have to be cranked? Where's his horse and buggy? Shame.

Oh, as for folding maps... good god... Mom never takes a map with her if she's driving solo - maybe MapQuest directions, but not usually - she feels better with a passenger dictating directions. And MapQuest printouts fold so much easier. We also write them down on a sheet of paper for greater ease.

But on longer trips, we always have an atlas. It doesn't fold. It goes under the seat.

We still don't have a GPS - they weren't quite standard in late 2001. But we'd never refer to our printouts and atlas as a GPS device!

And his car sucks. And probably can't run, so a GPS device would be useless.

Brookins cannot draw vehicles for shit.

Thursday the 19th:


See?

Using your dad as a mechanic is cheap, and probably not a good idea unless he is one. What you save by not paying for labor, you pay a thousand times over in repairs.

Not all guys are handy. And, what burns me, not all women are helpless when it comes to vehicles.

And her car probably broke down on the way to school or her job (to pay for insurance and gas, because that thing gets one mile to the tank, but not repairs!) because her dad doesn't want her to be independent. He probably fixes the obvious problem, then causes another thing. Hero complex.

I don't like my dad, and I don't like Pluggers. If I can combine the two, all the better.

Friday the 20th:



God, he needs to go to Covington Pike (a road that is famous in the area for a section filled with car dealerships) or his equivalent and take some damn pictures!

I can't draw a car to save my life, but at least I know that.

Okay, I just read the whole caption.

That is so fucking funny! The non-Pluggers see danger, or are at least being sensible, and the Plugger doesn't get it. He's going to get robbed, not that there's anything in there worth taking.

And yet another sign of old cars - at least they know cars can be locked and unlocked remotely and beep, but that's too scary for them.

I hope this was sent in by somebody about an idiot relative. Or just completely made up!

We lived in Italy around 1990, and had a crap car. The good Italian cars are out of any honest enlisted Navy man's reach. Mom and Dad never locked it because the windshield and windows were worth more than the radio.

But I don't see a Plugger being that sensible. Or living in Italy.


Saturday the 21st:



I love the expression on the Plugger's face! This looks like a snapshot taken by a family member for some purpose. Way to break the 4th wall!

I don't like the rest of the cartoon, of course, because I don't care about my PJs as long as they're comfortable and will keep me warm or cold as the weather dictates. And that they're decent enough in mixed company.

But I'm not a Plugger! Only non-Pluggers care about fashion now? Hate this one.

Actually, I do like my PJs and put some thought into them - Tuesday and Wednesday night I wore guy's PJ pants (Rolling Stone tongue all over - classic rock tees and lounge wear is woefully nonexistent in most women's clothes), a white camisole, and because of the mixed company of the cabin, my favorite t-shirt that I got for free 7 years ago this October - and who knows how long the people before me had it!

I don't put that much effort into clothes, but I wear what I like and what I think looks good. So I'm not a Plugger.


Sunday the 22nd:


I can't make out the ingredients she's putting in there, but the only thing that should be cooked in a crock pot is ribs with barbecue sauce - smells great, and they fall off the bone.

The rest - meh.

And guys can be cooks too! There always is the possibility that this was sent in about somebody, but please. Guys can cook, and even if they can't, crock pots aren't that hard to master.



Monday the 23rd:

My god, they can't even get out of their poorly drawn vehicles to eat!

Tuesday the 24th:

Only Pluggers have poor enough vision to not be able to see their glasses when they're not on?

I call offensive bullshit.

Unless you've got granny glasses or Buddy Holly ones, you can't see the damn things when they're off. Small wire frames and clear glass are amazingly hard to find if you need them to see things a few feet in front of you!


Wednesday the 25th:

Um... I hope he's not actually driving, I hope he pulled over first.

He wears glasses too! Ha!

Um, Mister McKee, most cars have these things called "windshield wipers" that do what you are so idiotically doing. If the rain is so bad that they can't, you should pull over as soon as possible, unless you've got to be somewhere at some time. Though most people have "cellular telephone devices", like car phones, but they can be used anywhere, and you can call whoever you have to see and say a tree just flew over my car and scratched the paint on the roof, so I got off the road, I'm sorry, I'll get going as soon as it lets up."

But a real Plugger wouldn't do that, because that's smart, and we're not good at smart in Pluggerville, are we?


Thursday the 26th:

Whoa. These Pluggers not only don't buy American, they don't buy the foreign terrorist goods at Wal-Mart! What is going on here?

And god, I hate it when people pronounce Target that way.

Isn't Taiwan part of China?


Finally! Today's tripe:

More fashion crimes. I loathe "What Not To Wear", but I'm nominating Jean and everyone else I was forced to think about today.

I hate capri pants - if I've worn them, I don't remember.

And I never will.

Shorts or pants, Pluggers, make a decision, we're at war here.

Yet another one about a subject that I know nothing about.

Well, I mean, I know the basic facts and procedures, I just can't do it.

What am I referring to?

Driving, of course.

Today's comic illustrates the "Middle America" part of Pluggerville, as do all relating to driving.





This is the most famous couple of Pluggerville - it shows that the town is incredibly tolerant, probably on the way to gay marriage soon enough.

Like many things in this comic about cars, I know what cruise control is, I just fail to see how a nagging passenger is the same as setting your vehicle at a certain speed while driving on an interstate.

This premise makes no sense. A brick tied to the gas, now, that would be Plugger cruise control.

The nagging passenger could be a substitute for OnStar, some of the new commercials show that OnStar can tell you what's wrong by doing a diagnostic test via computer.

But OnStar is much newer than cruise control, which is older than me. I'm guessing it was a Plugger that put his car in cruise control when it first came out and fell asleep, knowing the car would get him there. Of course, that's an urban legend, but I don't doubt Pluggers would do that.

These comics that feature drivingg drive home the point that Pluggers are not city folks, nor do they live close to cities. They never use public transportation, because it's not available there.

What pisses me off about this is the gender switch. Men can be backseat drivers, too. It's not the '50s anymore, Brookins, women drive just as well as men. God, I hate that stereotype. It appeared in MAD more than once, but one I really remember is about parking meters and the way to get rid of them - let the women drive!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha.

The image of the wife as the nagging passenger is incredibly stupid and offensive. It was sent in by a woman!


Her husband/brother/father/male friend could easily be the backseat driver, especially if she's learning how to drive. (Always the old junker.)

Let me end this on a happy note - the "woman" in the comic will use her nagging to lead to the death of the man - then her young can eat and get fat before she eats them.

I love perverting comics.

An updated thought on a comic that ran on June 18th.

And a blog entry that ran on the 19th.

This is the comic and blog entry I'm thinking about - I was looking for another one, and my tendency to not name the entries in anyway relating to the comic I'm talking about made me just guess and I found what I was looking for.


But I also reread what I wrote about the society page of the Penny Saver couple of the year, and a new explanation hit me.

Since no gender is mentioned, we don't know if this idea came predominantly from men, from women, from young people, from married people, from people that aren't married to each other, or just from random cranks. (I'm going with the last one for 99% of the comics analyzed by your humble comic analyst.)

We have established that Pluggers are cheap, whether they are broke or not. Both pop culture Scrooges are major cheapskates - I love Scrooge McDuck's cheapness, because most of my comics about him are from about 10 years before I was born, if that. And comics don't lie.

Back to one that is not lying, because some people lead sadder lives than mine. (I don't mean health issues, I just mean monotony and ruts and boredom and exciting eggs.)

The idea I had initially was that they were broke teenagers, and I said if they're so broke, why does she have glasses that look almost contemporary?

However, they could be dating and not in a committed relationship at the time. (Moving in, getting married, buying a pizza together.)

So she could have her own money, or her parent's could have money, and in Pluggerville, the guy always pays, no matter which way his money is flowing. That's part of buying a pet in Pluggerville - pay for a nice date, then zap! with a shrinking ray and zip! with the petometer.

So if they're not eating their children (not Law & Order: SVU), they're turning them into pets. (Law & Order: CI maybe.)

So the date could be a broke chauvinist who believes that the man is the provider and the door-opener.

Or they could be married, with too many kids that they've dumped on a relative or a babysitter so they can get the monthly shopping done. The babysitter isn't cheap, even if it is family, and they need a lot of supplies, so they don't have money for the food sold at the restaurant at the store. (The Costco in Vancouver, Washington has sublime hot dogs.)

If it's sent in by women and girls, it's sent in about the disastrous date she had with a cheapskate that promised her dinner and a movie and took her to Costco and searched for samples before settling down in the electronics department to see the latest movie out on DVD.

One more scenario - have you seen the Visa Check Card commercials? Everything's going great, following a precise order, all the gears turn just so until some schmuck pays with cash.

So these two don't carry enough cash for dinner, not even a hot dog. However, they have check cards.

Why not use them? They are married.

But not to each other!

And I imagine check cards leave a paper trail, as would using the card to get money out of ATM for a real meal. Though this would be bad if they're suspects in a crime - no paper trail, no alibi!

One other idea - this had to be sent in by young people or about young people, because if the average contributor is as old as the comics tell us, they couldn't have done this when they were young, I don't think they were as widespread, but I don't honestly know. Or hey, the Social Security check is late and your stomach is growling, so you take your Assisted Living sweetie to Costco for a night on the warehouse. You wasted all your money on botox and plastic surgery, why look old when others don't? Because you age as you get older... oh forget it.