I'll take the Pluggers air-conditioned bullet.
Hey! I know I said I'd be back last Wednesday, but after the DSL was hooked up, the computer went crazier than usual and the tech guy was like, "you have a virus, you have to get this fixed."
It was supposed to be back a week ago, but wasn't. I left for Frosh Camp on Monday, and when I got home yesterday afternoon, it was back!
High speed internet is so awesome!
Onto something less awesome, eh?
Monday the 16th -
For some reason, when I first looked at this, I thought of Britain - like she's a British chicken. (Isn't bird British slang for a girl?)
But it's not. Yet another North Carolina submission.
Oh wow, take that hippies! We don't need to do a damn thing to help the environment, because we hang our clothes on a line outside.
That's actually something I've done, I did it a lot last summer and the summer before, but now, we have no line, and no place to put it. We do have a folding metal rack, and it holds excess or things that can't be dried in a dryer. I don't know about Wilmington, maybe it's not humid there in the summer, but I do know that one sunny day, I put my clothes outside. Hours later, they were still damp. No wind, only humidity. I think the clothes got wetter.
Actually, this is a pretty decent joke by Plugger standards. And it is what we should do to save money and energy, and it's a lot cheaper than a windmill or solar panels. (I'd love to have solar panels over my room - it bakes all day, reaching 80 degrees and staying there until the wee hours of the morning. I'd love to use solar panels to get it down to a crisp 70 all day.)
But that's silly.
As for the drawing, it looks too damn windy. I've never had dripping laundry, where you can see the water droplets. I know summer in the south, and when it's windy and sunny and after noon, there's a very good chance there will be a short, messy thunderstorm that can cool down the rest of the day, or steam it up.
The water droplets could be rain, in which case, yay, stupid Pluggers. I win!
Tuesday the 17th:
Of course he eats at all you can eat buffets! Big shocker there. I think Dilbert's dad lived at an all you can eat buffet restaurant for years - it was open 24 hours, and there were wetnaps in the men's room or something.He sold his blood to pay for this meal. I hope he has some citrus.
As for "quality equals quantity" - um... er... he's broke. This is all he'll have to eat for a week or so, even though he eats fellow Pluggers. (I believe that's a chicken leg on his plate.) So yes, the more food he eats, the less chance he has of passing out from hunger on the walk home or losing his figure.
And of course, it also points to stupidity. Virginians!
Plugger Virginians!
Wednesday the 18th:
Ha ha ha! GPS is stupid, all you need is a map, dur.
Not.
One of my sisters at Frosh Camp (don't ask) got horribly lost at Orientation and walked all the way to Oak Court Mall! She had a map of campus, but she didn't know where she was.
That's the problem with maps and the greatness of GPS - it tells you where you are, you don't have to guess.
And if this Plugger hates technology so much, why doesn't his car have '30s suicide doors? Why doesn't it have to be cranked? Where's his horse and buggy? Shame.
Oh, as for folding maps... good god... Mom never takes a map with her if she's driving solo - maybe MapQuest directions, but not usually - she feels better with a passenger dictating directions. And MapQuest printouts fold so much easier. We also write them down on a sheet of paper for greater ease.
But on longer trips, we always have an atlas. It doesn't fold. It goes under the seat.
We still don't have a GPS - they weren't quite standard in late 2001. But we'd never refer to our printouts and atlas as a GPS device!
And his car sucks. And probably can't run, so a GPS device would be useless.
Brookins cannot draw vehicles for shit.
Thursday the 19th:
See?
Using your dad as a mechanic is cheap, and probably not a good idea unless he is one. What you save by not paying for labor, you pay a thousand times over in repairs.
Not all guys are handy. And, what burns me, not all women are helpless when it comes to vehicles.
And her car probably broke down on the way to school or her job (to pay for insurance and gas, because that thing gets one mile to the tank, but not repairs!) because her dad doesn't want her to be independent. He probably fixes the obvious problem, then causes another thing. Hero complex.
I don't like my dad, and I don't like Pluggers. If I can combine the two, all the better.
Friday the 20th:
God, he needs to go to Covington Pike (a road that is famous in the area for a section filled with car dealerships) or his equivalent and take some damn pictures!
I can't draw a car to save my life, but at least I know that.
Okay, I just read the whole caption.
That is so fucking funny! The non-Pluggers see danger, or are at least being sensible, and the Plugger doesn't get it. He's going to get robbed, not that there's anything in there worth taking.
And yet another sign of old cars - at least they know cars can be locked and unlocked remotely and beep, but that's too scary for them.
I hope this was sent in by somebody about an idiot relative. Or just completely made up!
We lived in Italy around 1990, and had a crap car. The good Italian cars are out of any honest enlisted Navy man's reach. Mom and Dad never locked it because the windshield and windows were worth more than the radio.
But I don't see a Plugger being that sensible. Or living in Italy.
Saturday the 21st:
I love the expression on the Plugger's face! This looks like a snapshot taken by a family member for some purpose. Way to break the 4th wall!
I don't like the rest of the cartoon, of course, because I don't care about my PJs as long as they're comfortable and will keep me warm or cold as the weather dictates. And that they're decent enough in mixed company.
But I'm not a Plugger! Only non-Pluggers care about fashion now? Hate this one.
Actually, I do like my PJs and put some thought into them - Tuesday and Wednesday night I wore guy's PJ pants (Rolling Stone tongue all over - classic rock tees and lounge wear is woefully nonexistent in most women's clothes), a white camisole, and because of the mixed company of the cabin, my favorite t-shirt that I got for free 7 years ago this October - and who knows how long the people before me had it!
I don't put that much effort into clothes, but I wear what I like and what I think looks good. So I'm not a Plugger.
Sunday the 22nd:
I can't make out the ingredients she's putting in there, but the only thing that should be cooked in a crock pot is ribs with barbecue sauce - smells great, and they fall off the bone.
The rest - meh.
And guys can be cooks too! There always is the possibility that this was sent in about somebody, but please. Guys can cook, and even if they can't, crock pots aren't that hard to master.
Monday the 23rd:
My god, they can't even get out of their poorly drawn vehicles to eat!Tuesday the 24th:
Only Pluggers have poor enough vision to not be able to see their glasses when they're not on?I call offensive bullshit.
Unless you've got granny glasses or Buddy Holly ones, you can't see the damn things when they're off. Small wire frames and clear glass are amazingly hard to find if you need them to see things a few feet in front of you!
Wednesday the 25th:
Um... I hope he's not actually driving, I hope he pulled over first.He wears glasses too! Ha!
Um, Mister McKee, most cars have these things called "windshield wipers" that do what you are so idiotically doing. If the rain is so bad that they can't, you should pull over as soon as possible, unless you've got to be somewhere at some time. Though most people have "cellular telephone devices", like car phones, but they can be used anywhere, and you can call whoever you have to see and say a tree just flew over my car and scratched the paint on the roof, so I got off the road, I'm sorry, I'll get going as soon as it lets up."
But a real Plugger wouldn't do that, because that's smart, and we're not good at smart in Pluggerville, are we?
Thursday the 26th:
Whoa. These Pluggers not only don't buy American, they don't buy the foreign terrorist goods at Wal-Mart! What is going on here?And god, I hate it when people pronounce Target that way.
Isn't Taiwan part of China?
Finally! Today's tripe:
More fashion crimes. I loathe "What Not To Wear", but I'm nominating Jean and everyone else I was forced to think about today.I hate capri pants - if I've worn them, I don't remember.
And I never will.
Shorts or pants, Pluggers, make a decision, we're at war here.
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