Thursday February 17th

The comic:

Because they're terrifying psychopaths?

Holy crap this was scary, well I'm awake now!

If anyone knows what this is supposed to be about, please tell me!

Friday February 20th

The comic:


Get out of my life!

Not that I've ever been to Branson or Pigeon Forge. I'm not a senior, I'm not a Plugger. I'm just maintaining chronic conditions and missing a gland or something that has been replaced with chemicals that must be ingested daily.

I only see 2 prescriptions, or meds, on that list. The rest are OTC that can be bought anywhere.

But isn't it true for all seniors? And all "sick" people? (You know, taking 10+ pills a day, but healthy enough to function and travel.)

Grr.

Thursday September 11th

The comic:


No, no, why does he have an axe?

There should be firewood in the panel - he doesn't have to be that fat.

Creepy creepy creepy.

And is that bottled water?

He's from Alabama. Of course.

And dogs don't sweat.

But the axe. Eek, eek, eek.

Saturday May 10th

The comic:


Another classic I haven't seen before.

I think I'd remember this.

Where to start?

At least it's not the dog-like creature as the Plugger. Dog ears don't look like that.

Um.


Damn.

This is kinda scary to consider.

And this is not the first time this has run.

And Betty Hatfield thought it was funny.

I notice there are no women in the cartoon.

I know both sexes can be stalkers or be in a situation where a restraining order is needed.

But the image is of a woman taking one out against an abusive man - husband, boyfriend, lover. Sure, they're not perfect.

But I don't think they're suitable for any attempt at humor. At least not in a mainstream comic.

It's creepy. It's trivializing the issue by comparing it to a dog command. One that does not restrict or restrain the animal. That would be stay. So this is offensive, sick, and it doesn't even work.

But I'm probably overreacting.

Who thinks like this?

Friday the 29th

The comic:



You're a plugger if you like dogs?

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

Or this is why there are pets that are the same species as their owners - they treat the mentally challenged Pluggers as pets. (And they put collars on the mentally ill and shock them so hard they can only drool.)

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

Sunday the 10th

The comic:



MY EYES MY EYES SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP MY EYES

There is something WRONG with that cat!

And I say that as a dog owner!

Jim Stepleton, you are one sick fuck. You and Brookins. ::eugh::

Mousetraps don't "work on cheese", they "work on" springs or glue or poison. (Chocolate and peanut butter are better at first, but after the first few deaths, they wise up.)

Animals are pluggers. An animal is referred to as a mousetrap. It kills other animals. TWISTED.

Also, cats need more than milk to survive.

Those three sets of mouse eyes will haunt me until I die.

...

Or see one of my puppies again.

Not that late.

I haven't looked at it yet, I'm afraid of what horror awaits me today.



It's worse than I expected. My expectations are too high.

There are two "jokes" today - for whatever reason.

I wonder if both were sent in by Jay, or if Brookins came up with the drawing all on his own.

And hey, the person cooking spam a lot (groan - how dare they mention Monty Python anywhere near this tripe!) doesn't have to be a woman - the reason he eats the same damn meal is because he never bothers to cook or buy anything that tastes better.

I like spam, fried on bread with mayo. Wheat bread, I'm not completely hopeless.

But that's just wrong, eating it more than 3 times a month, let alone a week!

That pink mess is too damn salty for more than one sandwich! And I've had the dubious pleasure of eating it mixed with scrambled eggs on white bread. "Delicious." *toss in garbage can*

If this woman makes him spam that many times a week, she wants him dead.

And then she'll eat him. Though he won't be healthy, not with all that spam.

Complicated murder-suicide here.

There, I salvaged today's comic. I win!

Hey. I've got too many comics to look at and try to make sense.

Or I could go mow the yard...

I'll take the Pluggers air-conditioned bullet.


Hey! I know I said I'd be back last Wednesday, but after the DSL was hooked up, the computer went crazier than usual and the tech guy was like, "you have a virus, you have to get this fixed."

It was supposed to be back a week ago, but wasn't. I left for Frosh Camp on Monday, and when I got home yesterday afternoon, it was back!

High speed internet is so awesome!

Onto something less awesome, eh?


Monday the 16th -



For some reason, when I first looked at this, I thought of Britain - like she's a British chicken. (Isn't bird British slang for a girl?)

But it's not. Yet another North Carolina submission.

Oh wow, take that hippies! We don't need to do a damn thing to help the environment, because we hang our clothes on a line outside.

That's actually something I've done, I did it a lot last summer and the summer before, but now, we have no line, and no place to put it. We do have a folding metal rack, and it holds excess or things that can't be dried in a dryer. I don't know about Wilmington, maybe it's not humid there in the summer, but I do know that one sunny day, I put my clothes outside. Hours later, they were still damp. No wind, only humidity. I think the clothes got wetter.

Actually, this is a pretty decent joke by Plugger standards. And it is what we should do to save money and energy, and it's a lot cheaper than a windmill or solar panels. (I'd love to have solar panels over my room - it bakes all day, reaching 80 degrees and staying there until the wee hours of the morning. I'd love to use solar panels to get it down to a crisp 70 all day.)

But that's silly.

As for the drawing, it looks too damn windy. I've never had dripping laundry, where you can see the water droplets. I know summer in the south, and when it's windy and sunny and after noon, there's a very good chance there will be a short, messy thunderstorm that can cool down the rest of the day, or steam it up.

The water droplets could be rain, in which case, yay, stupid Pluggers. I win!


Tuesday the 17th:

Of course he eats at all you can eat buffets! Big shocker there. I think Dilbert's dad lived at an all you can eat buffet restaurant for years - it was open 24 hours, and there were wetnaps in the men's room or something.

He sold his blood to pay for this meal. I hope he has some citrus.

As for "quality equals quantity" - um... er... he's broke. This is all he'll have to eat for a week or so, even though he eats fellow Pluggers. (I believe that's a chicken leg on his plate.) So yes, the more food he eats, the less chance he has of passing out from hunger on the walk home or losing his figure.

And of course, it also points to stupidity. Virginians!

Plugger Virginians!


Wednesday the 18th:



Ha ha ha! GPS is stupid, all you need is a map, dur.

Not.

One of my sisters at Frosh Camp (don't ask) got horribly lost at Orientation and walked all the way to Oak Court Mall! She had a map of campus, but she didn't know where she was.

That's the problem with maps and the greatness of GPS - it tells you where you are, you don't have to guess.

And if this Plugger hates technology so much, why doesn't his car have '30s suicide doors? Why doesn't it have to be cranked? Where's his horse and buggy? Shame.

Oh, as for folding maps... good god... Mom never takes a map with her if she's driving solo - maybe MapQuest directions, but not usually - she feels better with a passenger dictating directions. And MapQuest printouts fold so much easier. We also write them down on a sheet of paper for greater ease.

But on longer trips, we always have an atlas. It doesn't fold. It goes under the seat.

We still don't have a GPS - they weren't quite standard in late 2001. But we'd never refer to our printouts and atlas as a GPS device!

And his car sucks. And probably can't run, so a GPS device would be useless.

Brookins cannot draw vehicles for shit.

Thursday the 19th:


See?

Using your dad as a mechanic is cheap, and probably not a good idea unless he is one. What you save by not paying for labor, you pay a thousand times over in repairs.

Not all guys are handy. And, what burns me, not all women are helpless when it comes to vehicles.

And her car probably broke down on the way to school or her job (to pay for insurance and gas, because that thing gets one mile to the tank, but not repairs!) because her dad doesn't want her to be independent. He probably fixes the obvious problem, then causes another thing. Hero complex.

I don't like my dad, and I don't like Pluggers. If I can combine the two, all the better.

Friday the 20th:



God, he needs to go to Covington Pike (a road that is famous in the area for a section filled with car dealerships) or his equivalent and take some damn pictures!

I can't draw a car to save my life, but at least I know that.

Okay, I just read the whole caption.

That is so fucking funny! The non-Pluggers see danger, or are at least being sensible, and the Plugger doesn't get it. He's going to get robbed, not that there's anything in there worth taking.

And yet another sign of old cars - at least they know cars can be locked and unlocked remotely and beep, but that's too scary for them.

I hope this was sent in by somebody about an idiot relative. Or just completely made up!

We lived in Italy around 1990, and had a crap car. The good Italian cars are out of any honest enlisted Navy man's reach. Mom and Dad never locked it because the windshield and windows were worth more than the radio.

But I don't see a Plugger being that sensible. Or living in Italy.


Saturday the 21st:



I love the expression on the Plugger's face! This looks like a snapshot taken by a family member for some purpose. Way to break the 4th wall!

I don't like the rest of the cartoon, of course, because I don't care about my PJs as long as they're comfortable and will keep me warm or cold as the weather dictates. And that they're decent enough in mixed company.

But I'm not a Plugger! Only non-Pluggers care about fashion now? Hate this one.

Actually, I do like my PJs and put some thought into them - Tuesday and Wednesday night I wore guy's PJ pants (Rolling Stone tongue all over - classic rock tees and lounge wear is woefully nonexistent in most women's clothes), a white camisole, and because of the mixed company of the cabin, my favorite t-shirt that I got for free 7 years ago this October - and who knows how long the people before me had it!

I don't put that much effort into clothes, but I wear what I like and what I think looks good. So I'm not a Plugger.


Sunday the 22nd:


I can't make out the ingredients she's putting in there, but the only thing that should be cooked in a crock pot is ribs with barbecue sauce - smells great, and they fall off the bone.

The rest - meh.

And guys can be cooks too! There always is the possibility that this was sent in about somebody, but please. Guys can cook, and even if they can't, crock pots aren't that hard to master.



Monday the 23rd:

My god, they can't even get out of their poorly drawn vehicles to eat!

Tuesday the 24th:

Only Pluggers have poor enough vision to not be able to see their glasses when they're not on?

I call offensive bullshit.

Unless you've got granny glasses or Buddy Holly ones, you can't see the damn things when they're off. Small wire frames and clear glass are amazingly hard to find if you need them to see things a few feet in front of you!


Wednesday the 25th:

Um... I hope he's not actually driving, I hope he pulled over first.

He wears glasses too! Ha!

Um, Mister McKee, most cars have these things called "windshield wipers" that do what you are so idiotically doing. If the rain is so bad that they can't, you should pull over as soon as possible, unless you've got to be somewhere at some time. Though most people have "cellular telephone devices", like car phones, but they can be used anywhere, and you can call whoever you have to see and say a tree just flew over my car and scratched the paint on the roof, so I got off the road, I'm sorry, I'll get going as soon as it lets up."

But a real Plugger wouldn't do that, because that's smart, and we're not good at smart in Pluggerville, are we?


Thursday the 26th:

Whoa. These Pluggers not only don't buy American, they don't buy the foreign terrorist goods at Wal-Mart! What is going on here?

And god, I hate it when people pronounce Target that way.

Isn't Taiwan part of China?


Finally! Today's tripe:

More fashion crimes. I loathe "What Not To Wear", but I'm nominating Jean and everyone else I was forced to think about today.

I hate capri pants - if I've worn them, I don't remember.

And I never will.

Shorts or pants, Pluggers, make a decision, we're at war here.

I wish my excuse was housesitting.

That implies isolation, peace and quiet.

The truth is, since Tuesday afternoon, I've only checked my mail, and only because of financial aid worries - and I can't do anything about that (at least online) until August first!

The reason? My sister's bestest friend ever (I never even heard her name until 3 years ago, when she moved to Japan - she didn't know me, I didn't know her, no matter what Beck says) flew in from Florida (summer holiday, going back to Japan before school starts) on Tuesday.

Since then, it has been nonstop idiot teenagers. The minimum is usually 3. Yesterday, I got some peace and quiet for a few hours, they all went to John's house after swimming at another friend's house. (Beck was at work.) I spent the time watching movies and reading, and in the last 18 hours I have seen all of the first 2 Pirates movies (Love me some Depp!) and part of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Adrienne didn't care, she wanted to sleep, Becky did - there had to be something better on TV at 11:30 on a Saturday night! I poked my head in during a commercial - she's flipping through channels, insisting something better is on. My movie ended at 12:30... and they didn't watch a damn thing.

Anyways, I have never been big on lots of people, especially Becky and her friends, due to the noise and the mess, so I've been hiding out.

Computer's in the main room, of course.

However, I didn't get any sleep, and the internet and the Sims are surefire ways to stay awake, I've learned.

So I'm catching up on my internet comics!

I won't do another one until Wednesday or Thursday - we're getting DSL! No more getting kicked off the internet for... being on the internet!


Onto the comics, shall we?

(I'm high on Jack Sparrow - so I'll be a bit odd.)

The 11th, which was Wednesday!

Damn them. I need to pick up poop today. I think I did it the 11th, but I'm not sure.

All I know is, I've been saving the bags the daily paper comes in (fit the hand pretty well) for a while, so I can scoop the poop while walking the dogs.

Only...

It's been hot.

Really hot.

So when it's cool, we play in the big, fenced in back yard, after picking up the poop of course.

I thought Pluggers were suburban/rural freaks of nature. Why should they be walking their dog so it can poop? Don't they have yards?

As for the caption, what the hell are they referencing? The US postal service? FedEx? UPS?

And do they follow the dog-looking Plugger around with a scoop and a bag? (Smallish shovel - hose it off afterward, hang it on the outside of the shed to dry - every single pooper scooper we've ever had has broken. Shovel works great.)

Onto Thursday's idiocy!



Where to begin.

First - I've never seen an Eskimo pie, and I live right next to North Carolina. (The eastern edge of the state I'm in does, so there.)

Second - good god, these losers never order Chinese food? Or pizza? Or... anything!

Also, it's faintly offensive, though I can't pinpoint why. I got online Thursday, saw this, and gave up.

Also, why eat ethnic food of any kind, Mister Sharp, if that is your real name? American food not good enough for you? To gitmo with the lot of ye scabrous dogs!


And Friday's fresh hell:

Friday was an interesting day for me. I ate "ethnic food" (stuffed pizza from Villa Pizza at the mall, best thing since the only other great one (that I know of, not that I remember the name!) has closed.), bought a few books and comic books, and for the first time this entire summer, had to call in the cavalry from the library. I was wiped, I could not ride home, and I still don't know why. It wasn't as humid or hot as other days, I've done fine in 100 degree weather, but a cloudy 80 something day, and I need my mommy and her air conditioned truck. And I didn't even look bad, not overheated, just too shaky.


The comic - I thought that was a lady Plugger at first. And no, an mp3 player is not the tune you whistle off key because it is stuck in your head! I'm sure iPods will be inserted into or onto future generations, but we're not there yet.

So a Plugger with a wheelbarrow is an iPod now? And we know why it's full of dirt. Burying the bones of his last "battery", or taking dirt from the grave.

If they weren't so bloody stupid and boring, I wouldn't need to make up sinister backstories!


Saturday's fiasco:


Scroggs. Really?

If I get bored enough today, I will tally how many come from the South and Midwest. Probably too many.

As for the comic, that truck is itty bitty! No truck bed is that size, except for those stupid SUV/truck thingamabobs. When we put the dog cage in the back of ours, we can also fit a human comfortably (me, riding along to keep Dixie happy) or too much camping junk.

Second, I know most of North Carolina is rural, but that's not exactly the safest way for your "best friend" to ride. In the cage? In the cab, next to you?

Every time I've taken a dog in the bed without the cage, I've had a leash.

And myself.

Except for one time, and I rode in the back seat with the back window open, watching her the entire time. She was too tired to move.

But God, that can't be safe. I know that dog wants to escape, you can see it in its eyes.

Wickett had to be groomed last week - he rode in the cab both ways - mostly the front, sometimes with his paws on the wheel.

Dixie and Mikey will be groomed later this week. I don't think we'll bother with the cage, it's so hot. Mikey will probably ride inside (ecstatic at the thought of a trip before curling up in a dejected ball of apricot-colored curls in the back seat after 2 minutes), and I'll probably sit in the back, with Dixie by my side.

On a leash.


And today's tripe:

"Almost finished"????

It's got no walls, no security!

And that tree's not tall enough to warrant a tree house, I'm sorry.

And I want a tree house. My cousins had one, but they moved and the new owners removed it. It was there before my cousins were! I loved that thing!

I get the "joke" - boarding school, boards are used to make a treehouse - ha ha ha ha.

But it makes less sense than usual. How is a pathetic tree house anything at all like a school? Is he going to play school in there? (Best if you have a close relative working in a school and/or are a well-behaved smart kid - you get a lot of old textbooks and teacher's editions at the end of the year.)

I don't think so.

I do not see the connection between a boarding school and a tree house made of boards!

Besides the fact that both contain the word "board".

Wayne Johnson, if that's the joke you sent in, you're an idiot.

And I'm done! See ya on a highspeed connection!

Short and bitter.

Nothing sweet about this "comic".


Sunday:

She likes her hot dogs raw, not well done. Savage.

There is a grain of truth in the choice of species, though. If your pets have thin hair, you're supposed to use pet sunblock when they're out in the sun.

Chickens wear flip-flops, dogs go barefoot. She also likes her food with a taste of tetanus, apparently.

As for the global warming "joke"...

whatever.

Monday:

This is just sad.

And incredibly evil! That's a young dog, eating chicken in revenge for his father's death, plainly that's the crazy chicken lady who keeps her jewelry in her children's old cribs. Or wombs, whatever.

This would be a bit less sad if the word "young" was placed in front of pluggers. Kids are supposed to be broke.

It is fun, as a kid, to run around Costco or Sam's, trying samples.

But eating out?

Too broke for McDonalds? Where'd she get the money for glasses? Were they donated from Lenscrafters?

Today:


Crappy cars. Ha ha ha ha! That's why they have to eat store samples. Those places are isolated, you need a full tank of gas to get there, and when the rust bucket is full, you're broke and must resort to eating all of the samples.

Plus, that truck is probably so old that it gets 1 mile a gallon, downhill, highway.

Dog'd have more money if he killed that chicken. She's huge! Worth a lot of money.

The last two are proof that the majority of Americans (the five that send in suggestions that aren't CC readers) are not only broke, they're living below the poverty line.

These people lead sad lives.

Give me a fat or old plugger, please.