Monday April 11th

The comic:

Isn't dieting only a concern when you're not as poor as we know Rhino-Man is?

Maybe it's time to throw away the scale, eh?

Friday May 7th

The comic:

Pluggers have butts?

Pluggers have curves?

Pluggers don't have a Hank Hill butt? (And he is such a Plugger - so smug. He and Andy Griffith are total Pluggers - "real" folks and so damn smug.)

I think the point is "Pluggers are fat" and the drawing says "Pluggers are fat and it depresses them."

Or maybe this has something to do with guy jeans I don't get?

Anyways, Pluggers are fat! Hoo doggie, what a knee-slapper! Fat people are funny! I tell jokes and make people laugh, and I'm fat. Now I know they only laughed because I'm fat. (Or when I was sick and skinny, because they could tell the future and knew I'd be fat one day.)

Thanks Pluggers for clearing up my misconceptions! Now I know I'm nothing more than my hilariously fat body.

If "Pluggers are fat" wasn't funny, why would it be repeated on a regular basis?


That still doesn't mean this comic makes a lick of sense. Oh well, Texans. What can you expect.


ETA: Ha! "Fat jokes" are funny - Hagar the Horrible writer Chris Browne agrees with me! Or he wouldn't make one every week as well. It's so much fun breaking things and possibly hurting yourself, oh man, I'm going to laugh so much I might cry. Or punch the monitor.

Tuesday January 19th

The comic:



Ha! Pluggers are fat and old and that makes them worry!

Isn't that the funniest damn thing you've ever seen?

No?

What's wrong with you?

Oh, it's not supposed to be funny - it's supposed to be heartwarming, like the Family Circus.

Well, my funny bone hasn't been tickled and my cold evil heart is still cold.

So what purpose does this serve? Yeah, I love being reminded of my weight and age - oh and there's my real name! (presumably)

What the fuck, Pluggers. This is just... weird.

And by weird, I mean weird by Pluggers standards, not you know, reality.

And I just thought of the reason this was published - smugness. Ha, I may be over 50, but my belt size sure isn't! Smugness for the Plugger readership, or smugness from the author - either way, stay classy, Pluggers.

Saturday November 28th

The comic:


This is sweet.

Swinging is so much fun, except most swings are meant to be used before puberty hits.

I like the idea of "grown-ups" playing. Maturity is optional.

Tuesday March 31st

The comic:



When I could only see the top, I thought this was bad. As much as I love the RhinoMan, I don't love him nekkid.

Ewwwwww.

I pity the few people who see this over breakfast in the morning.

Wednesday March 18th

The comic:


Pluggers are fat with tiny heads.

Why does he look so confused? That's not the right emotion at all. Dismayed, maybe. But this blankness... I don't like it. Will RhinoMan have to eat the belt for his last bit of nourishment?

Plugger cookie sighting!

Would you eat a cookie made by a Plugger? Didn't think so.

The comic:


That is the kind of joke I expect from Pluggers.

Also, freaky - two girl scout cookie jokes that suck from two sucky comics on the same day?

Wednesday February 25th

The comic:



I loves me some RhinoMan, but damn, did not need this image.

At any time, in any frame of mind.

Why is shoeless, when we've seen female Pluggers in blobby tennis shoes all the damn time? Why not draw his feet, eh?

And that is one rotten drawing - if the drawstrings couldn't be drawn because he's too fat (because he's a Plugger, duh!), there wouldn't be so much left over!

His drawstrings may not be drawn, but his expression certainly his. (Drawn is another way of saying depressed, right?) He's gonna feel the economic problems ahead of his Plugger brethren, I mean, this year. He looks beyond tired. Don't drink the rat poison!

Saturday February 7th

The comic:


This drawing looks so familiar, because I remember puzzling over the mirror, or perhaps that's just because I've seen mirrors like that in real life.

What reason does a Plugger have to wear a tie? Oh, right, deaths and marriages.

It is odd that the Plugger in question has everything else fitting, well, "right" as he sees it, except that tie. Who wears ties with jeans again?

The proportions of the belly are all wrong. Trust me, I'm fat. I know, I'm a fat woman, so it goes in different places, but I'm also a people watcher. And I ain't never seen a real person look like that. Male or female. Even in that stock footage of the fat people's bodies without faces they run on the news every time there's time some story about obesity.

So what I don't know about cars, well, multiply that, because this is men's clothing. (Though I've often thought it would be cool to wear a tie, though only if you're flat-chested.) Father wore uniform most of the time he was there, uniform had no tie.

But this does not seem plausible to me. Having trouble finding good pants because of your size, that does. But those are so expensive and so out of the way (especially for Pluggerville and someone used to sweats) that bitching about the tie sounds like somebody with their priorities out of whack, or at least somebody who only notices the latest problem. (I was trying to think of better examples, something about a limo and the price of ... something, but I am so tired.)


Then again, there's a whole 'nother side. "ties these days" and the tie over informal clothes - somebody who's been retired for a few years is going back into the work force and needed a new tie, since their old ones had just gone back out of fashion.

Monday January 12th

The comic:


There are in shape Pluggers? I don't think Brookins could even draw one, let alone think of one. (Yes, fat people can be in shape, but Pluggers don't think way.)

The gender change really matters to me this time. Uh, guys, our weight can change over the month for no reason other than hormones not a slice of pie last night. And, given the average age of Pluggers, I can only imagine that menopause is no kinder to the body.

But hey, they're fat! Hur, that's funny.

Also, god, he can't even draw his own creations right! What did he begin with, the head or the body? Has he never heard of an eraser? I'm just glad there are no grandchildren (you know they would be grandchildren) in the comic to fuck with my eyes today.

Pluggers are more out of shape than a corpse if their knees are buckling, I would imagine. Most weight gain is gradual. You don't put on a hundred pounds while prone and then stand up and crumple. Of course there can be damage done to your joints, I'm sure, but nothing akin to bucking knees... which is ... like arthritis? Fainting? I have no idea?

And I am fat, and I know this, but my belts always buckle. See, I get jeans that fit (and always end up a bit too big after a washing and wearing) and while I paid through the nose, they're quality. And I don't think $40 a pop is too cruel for even the most destitute Plugger, now is it?

There's always, sweats, though I imagine they suffer from Homer's problem: "He says the crotch wears out too fast." As McAllister said, "Yar!That's going to replace the whale in my nightmares."

Why torture yourselves, Pluggers? For the chance to see your oh so original and hilarious observation about life, along with your name, in the paper? To be published?


This is going to be an odd week. Normally, this would just say "You're [a] plugger..." but know we're dividing them up... this has happened before with gender and age and this won't be the end of it. I'm sure it will be followed by a fat "joke" that says "You're a plugger if you're fat" with no caveat about being out of shape.

Does Brookins realize people can also be out of shape and thin? Or "normal"? "Out of shape" comes in all sizes (not to mention shapes), idiot.

One last weird thing. This is the first week of school, right? This will be 4th semester here, and every semester has started on a Monday. The week before is the week the county schools go back, and week after contains a Monday holiday (Labor day in the fall, MLK day in spring).

So why am I posting this when I should be sleeping?

Classes don't start until Thursday! And I only found out at 8pm tonight. I was wondering why I hadn't seen or heard many people moving in this weekend, and now I have an answer. I am so glad I talked to some girl I'd never met (and then another to confirm it, before checking at the school's website), or I'd be sitting outside the classroom tomorrow morning for too damn long before heading on to the next one. I can only hope the person working the desk in the morning will be nice to tell anyone staggering around tomorrow morning at 8:30 that there are no classes today, you can go back to sleep dear.

Thursday September 25th

The comic:


Pluggers are fat.

Whatever.

But Rhinoman has money to eat! Not at anywhere fancy, but still!

Unfortunately, he can't afford better pants.

Poor RhinoMan.

Monday September 15th

The comic:


So their waist shows their years, making it a waist of time. Ha.

But it's also a waste of time to try to lose that waist. (At least quickly.)

Let's talk about the wife - Pluggers live like all those stupid sitcoms with a hot wife and a fat guy. (The Honeymooners was the first, but it didn't suck, or so I've heard.)

Pluggers think like this all the time - if I can't have instant results, why bother? CSI is on.

Monday September 8th

The comic:


Oh no, RhinoMan! Will he be destitute again? And he was doing so well, too.

Rhinos are supposed to be big. You're just mean, Brookins.

Wednesday July 23rd

The comic:


Pluggers are fat.

And like to watch TV.

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

On a side note, this is the one time I'm glad they changed the gender. Hello, boobies?

ETA: If the comic was as old as its subject, I'd say this classic is from the '50s, when TV dinners were brand new and we'd have flying cars in 2008.

Saturday July 12th

The comic:


Pluggers have leftovers?

Thursday May 22nd

The comic:


Josh covered this. On the 22nd. Oh the advantages of posting about comics in a timely manner.

But what he said is wrong, though true. Yes, Pluggers are disgusting. Thinking of them and marriage and cheating is squicky, but Pluggers have sex with other Pluggers. They leave the rest of us out of it. Thank God.

This comic can mean two things for non-Pluggers. Either we never cheat on our diets, or we cheat on our spouses, taxes, or in games. Pluggers don't do any of the latter, they're better than us. But they hate "elitists".

By the way, Pluggers, they do make pizzas that are diet-friendly.

Wait, I take back what I said about Pluggers only cheating on diets.

It says usually. That implies there are other cheating instances in their lives. Of course, it says "caught by his wife", which can apply to cheating on Monopoly because his grandkid owns Broadway, rather than just adultery.

Saturday, April 19th

The comic:




Pluggers are fat. Though, in all honesty, some chairs and surfaces stick to my legs when it's really hot. But never like that. RhinoMan needs new furniture, stat! Or he needs to fix his situation by sitting somewhere else, like the floor. Sheesh, Rhi, I loves ya enough not to laugh at you, but you've got to use your brains.

Thursday, April 10th

The comic:




Reed Hoover strikes again.

But there's my RhinoMan.

And he looks like he has a perfectly boring 9-to-5, non-blue collar job with benefits and such.

But he cannot afford a long enough tie. :(

Maybe he's just working for one of those door-to-door sales things. That sucks. Poor guy.

Monday, April 7th

The comic:



You know, the Plugger birdwoman bothers me more than any of the other creatures locked in Pluggerville. It's easier to accept mammalian humans, I guess. Also, I can't stand Shoe.

Now I see the caption. (I saw the top half of the cartoon first.)

Pluggers are fat.

But wouldn't she have been winded by tying her shoes?

That is one scary looking Plugger - she needs to sit down, drink some water, and ::shudder:: put on something cooler. If you know you'll work up a sweat within five minutes, why not wear something cool. I cannot fathom exercising in sweats, even in winter.

Saturday, April 5th

The comic:


Air guitars don't make a sound.

That's the point.

If anything, an elderly air guitar player would make more sounds, what with the creaking of old joints and such.

He has arthritic fingers? That's sad.

And the phrase "old rocker plugger" is a crime against nature.