Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Tuesday September 30th

The comic:

He looks surprised.

As am I.

Why would you send this in as a cheery tribute to that Plugger spirit? Because they haven't killed themselves yet, it's cheerful?

And why can't they go on vacation during the holidays?

Also, with that many appointments, they may be too sick to go on vacation.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Monday September 29th

The comic:

At least he has a toaster, let's look on the bright side here.

The question is, does he have any bread?

Little note here - I love RhinoMan. If this starred the bear or dog (you know it wouldn't star the chicken - girls can't fix toasters!), I'd hate it.

RhinoMan just seems less smug, if that makes any sense. He always seems so sad, so earnest, you just have to like him.

Oh, god, about toast. I watched the Good Eats episode on it today, and damn, I want some toast. No toasters allowed in the rooms, though, and while pop-tarts do ok in the microwave, I don't think toast will.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Saturday September 27th

The comic:

I hate chocolate ice cream.

Oh. I think I got it. Neopolitan is too fancy a word for these simple folk.

Pluggers like to eat. Pluggers in Tennessee like ice cream. Big surprise, though I most often crave ice cold water. But I ain't from Madison.

So tired, I can't think of anything about this because it's just stupid. And this week has been killer - 4 tests (though one classmate had like 5 or 6), and three of them were the first test in that class. I got my grade for my Tuesday test. I got a C. Hey, at least I passed, right?

And now my English teacher is proposing chucking everything on the syllabus for Infinite Jest and I signed up for this 5-week Saturday course that starts tomorrow (er, today) at 9am and damn I've been tired since 4pm! (If I do it and pass the test, I get extra credit in anthropology.) I'll just see how I feel in the morning - I know the difference between "but I don't wanna get up" tired and "holy hell my book makes a nice pillow oh wait I'm in the front row" tired.

So Monday night I was a bundle of nerves, Thursday night I went to the fair and saw Rick Springfield and refused to ride the Ring of Fire, and Friday night all that is catching up with me.
And all this week, I messed up one of my medications and the reaction came quickly and will leave slowly, with lots of pain along the way.

But at least I'm not a Plugger!

ETA: I did go to the class. I will be a Lay Health Adviser (Advisor? Whatever.) and learn about infant mortality.

I'll never understand my own body. I decided to go to sleep around 2:45. It took a long time to fall asleep, but when 8am beeped into my mind, I felt refreshed. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything to do between the time I woke up and 8:45. So I laid down and didn't set any alarms. Luckily, I woke up at 8:55. While I was late, I wasn't too late, nothing had started and nobody was mad. In fact, the speaker kept losing her train of thought or the spot she was reading and kept saying, "It's Saturday morning."

I'm sure you all care so much.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Friday September 26th

The comic:

You're a Plugger if you obsess over your neighbor's possessions to the point that you know what they sound like, down to the age and measurements.

Pluggers are very jealous people. Which makes sense, considering how broke they are.

And look at this poor schlub! He can't work with table saws, no he's planting flowers. Because it's what the wife wants. So he envies more than his neighbor's possessions, he wants his life. Be careful, Ted Sobocienski's neighbor! Watch out!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Thursday September 25th

The comic:

Pluggers are fat.


But Rhinoman has money to eat! Not at anywhere fancy, but still!

Unfortunately, he can't afford better pants.

Poor RhinoMan.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wednesday September 24th

The comic:

I'm a bit less stressed out than I was Monday night. Taking that test helped so much. What I get on it? Yeah, it matters, but I'm not stressed. I can't do anything now that the test is done!

And now I actually feel sympathetic towards today's Plugger. Because she's going to die soon.

Seriously. I'll use some lotions past their expiration date, but pills?

Then again, they must be PRN meds, things you take when you need them, not daily, because those are replenished on a regular basis. Hmm.

It's still incredibly stupid, not to mention dangerous.

But they're Pluggers, what do I care?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Tuesday September 23rd

The comic:



What is he Amish? Who wears suspenders, besides lumberjacks?

But that pocket watch is making me all hot and bothered. Forget SRK's abs in Om Shanti Om, I want me a portly Plugger wearing suspenders who carries a POCKET WATCH.

The best part? He'll never call me when he's out on the road, and I never have to call him! I doubt he understands modern technology, and if I tell him cell phones are just walkie-talkies with cameras, he'll believe me. And I'll ride off into the sunset with Ted Forth.

Monday September 22nd

The comic:

The Plugger is the one with the umbrella.

This is terrible, if only because Brookins chose to show the animals. With the same expressions as Pluggers.

Not to mention calling Noah a Plugger. I expect outrage from religious groups in 3...2...1... never.

Pluggers are Christians. And most likely the kind that like to broadcast their faith and bug you until you tell them no, I don't go to church.

Pluggers live like they're poor because they're saving their money for a rainy day. Does anyone think they're that smart? Yeah, neither do I.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Saturday September 20th

The comic:

Damn, no specific location today!

If you have to mow your driveway, wouldn't that mean you weren't using it? The car(s) going over the grass day after day for years on end would keep the grass low. Even where between the wheels, right?

And of course Pluggers don't have paved driveways. And of course they have riding mowers!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Friday September 19th

The comic:

Dogs don't golf.

Though I do wish they'd so some yard work every now and then. Earn their keep and what not.

And now I have to add a golf tag. I hope it will be the last one, though I doubt it. After all, Pluggers are old. And probably the same demographic that golfs. So we're going to get more golfing related cartoons. Unfortunately, my golfing experience is limited to my parents golfing without me, that one time playing mini golf, and caddying maybe 10 years ago with my sister for our uncle and dad. Once.

Golf seems like it should take a long time, even if you only play 9 holes. (Oh yeah. Golf is mentioned a-frigging-lot in pop culture. So I may know some things.)

The main message of this comic is: Pluggers are boring. And the dude admitted it! And his poor wife wishes she could get an mp3 player or walkman or something to drown him out.

Thursday September 18th

The comic:


Pluggers are the ones getting abducted! This is nonsense.

Plus, she forgot which of her neighbors' remains are in which container. All good murderer cannibals must have a label maker. Tsk tsk.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Wednesday September 17th

The comic:

The positive interpretation of this says that Pluggers like to sleep with their glasses on and a book on their stomach, as if they fell asleep reading.

But who needs that?

The book is a flask, and he emptied it and passed out.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Tuesday September 16th

The comic:

This is close to the definition of a Plugger - rural, presumably blue-collar.

Though I must say, when I first saw this, and I only see the top maybe two-thirds, I thought we'd see our first Plugger car wreck. Imagine my disappointment.

Monday September 15th

The comic:

So their waist shows their years, making it a waist of time. Ha.

But it's also a waste of time to try to lose that waist. (At least quickly.)

Let's talk about the wife - Pluggers live like all those stupid sitcoms with a hot wife and a fat guy. (The Honeymooners was the first, but it didn't suck, or so I've heard.)

Pluggers think like this all the time - if I can't have instant results, why bother? CSI is on.

Friday, September 12, 2008

I have a follower!

I feel special.

You should follow this blog, you won't regret it.

Plus, if I get stressed out by school and start posting sporadically, you'll know when I start again.

I mean, do you really want to risk missing such valuable insights as "Pluggers are stupid"? I think not.

So follow this blog today!

Saturday September 13th

The comic:

He's not stranded on some desolate stretch of highway - it looks like he's in his driveway.

At first, I couldn't figure out why he had both the trunk and the hood open, because I know enough to know there aren't engine-y parts in both ends.

Then I realize he stored (or thought he stored) the oil in his trunk.

Do people do that? I guess it makes sense, but I'd be too worried about the container breaking or spilling or catching fire.

My sister doesn't do it, and she got a whole bunch of car things from our dad, including a foldup gas can for emergencies, but nothing about oil. My mom? She has a truck - no trunk.

Onto the caption - of course they're trivializing a major problem. They're Pluggers. It's what they do.

Friday September 12th

The comic:

Pluggers are stupid.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Thursday September 11th

The comic:

No, no, why does he have an axe?

There should be firewood in the panel - he doesn't have to be that fat.

Creepy creepy creepy.

And is that bottled water?

He's from Alabama. Of course.

And dogs don't sweat.

But the axe. Eek, eek, eek.

Wednesday September 10th

The comic:

Maybe this wouldn't happen if you wore the right glasses.

I like to sew, and I can't thread a needle on the first try, but that doesn't make me a Plugger. Why? I don't think it's profound. Also, they should have connected "storm" in the first half of the sentence with a related metaphor in the second.

And Brookins? Guys sew too. Or he could have written this about "Aunt" (who calls themselves that?) Jay Conlon, chuckling at his wife's failing eyesight, before snapping, "Hey! The button won't put itself back on the shirt!"

I like to think they're sexist and stupid at home as well.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Tuesday September 9th

The comic:

Until I saw that tongue, I thought he was talking to his son. And I was like, who really calls their kid "boy" unless they're in trouble?

But talking to the dog? That's okay. Better than talking to yourself. Which is what I'm doing.

I wonder if the dog's name is Boy.

Pluggers wouldn't get a GPS if they could afford it, because they don't want the guvmint knowing where they drive.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Monday September 8th

The comic:

Oh no, RhinoMan! Will he be destitute again? And he was doing so well, too.

Rhinos are supposed to be big. You're just mean, Brookins.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Saturday September 6th

The comic:

Pluggers wait for things to return to them.

Watches, pets, cars, children.

Of course Pluggers wear watches. My sister's wearing one now because cell phones are banned in school, and well, how else do you tell time?

That young Plugger has a lot to learn - does he not know how broke all the adults are?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Friday September 5th

The comic:

Oh damn, we have (had?) a hummingbird feeder like that, down to the flower feeding holes. I actually saw a few use it.

So Pluggers don't have a Humvee. That's good, I guess. I always thought they were too poor for something like that, not too smart to avoid that monstrosity.

Anyways, I think a hummingbird may have less mpg then a Hummer.

But the pun is inexcusable. For this I stay up til midnight? Bah!

Thursday September 4th

The comic:

Pluggers are lazy, lazy, lazy, but act like they work harder than a... miner.

If they really worked as hard as they claim, they wouldn't have time for this.

RhinoMan has moved up in the world! He has a significant other telling him what to do, and a checkbook!

Why does he look so sad, though? Is he henpecked? Has the chicken lady left her hubbie? Ooh, scandalous!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Wednesday September 3rd

The comic:

Perhaos, Gary Chenkin, you have heard this phrase from your grandkids or great-grandchildren: TMI.

It stands for "Too Much Information" and it means that nobody but your peers (old people who act old) and your doctor wants to hear about your digestive issues. Dig?

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Tuesday September 2nd

The comic:

Who wants bushes that bad?

And he looks so determined, so insane.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Monday September 1st

The comic:

I think we've seen this before, but my archival skills are pretty damn sloppy, and I don't have the patience to slog through my blog. 8 year old articles at Slate won't read themselves, man!

Fencing rocks, because who doesn't imagine pulling out a sword like Captain Jack Sparrow (or the Three Musketeers, if you want to be geekier than me) and slicing up some bad guys and fencing is the closest most of us will get. Or watching some suspects and witnesses fence in that Law & Order episode.

Reed Hoover, man, change your address. YOU'RE FROM DALLAS. A CITY. That surely has rural suburbs and properties that would call for such a rugged, Wild West image. Memphis does!

What did you get the inspiration for this while yelling at your neighbors over the height of the privacy fence? Or that their mutt bit your purebred through the chainlink and now you'll build a privacy fence and show them? Er, that may have been my former neighbor. (The dogs, for the record, responded to the visual separation by digging a hole under the fence to see each other. And how could she open her mouth to bite through the chainlink holes anyway? Grump.)

And you're doing your neighbors a favors when you put up a privacy fence along the old chainlink - saves them the expense of doing it. Plus, they don't have to look at you anymore!

ETA: This may be topical, but it's not a good enough idea to repeat twice. Within 5 months.

I am indebted to Polsy for looking up fencing via google. Though typing it into the search window at the top yielded the same resultes.

Why didn't I look up something so obvious? Well, I didn't think Brookins would be that lazy. Sure, the image looked familiar (in the first one, he's fatter. that's it), but I didn't think the captions were so damn similar. Plus, even if he mentioned fencing, that wasn't a guarantee that I did. I'm not creating a fencing category. You should see the tag list at Comics I Don't Understand. It puts all comic blogs that I've seen to shame. Josh only puts the name of the comic in the tag! Do you know how hard it was to find the meth strips of Mary Worth?


The comic is reproduced here for purposes of review only, and all rights remain with the creator, Gary Brookins.