Saturday, January 31, 2009

Saturday January 31st

The comic:

I feel like I'm going to barf, and my throat hurts. That's why I can't come up with anything clever to say about this.

That, and it is so old and cliched it is... a cliche. (I told you I was feeling sick.) Night.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Friday January 30th

The comic:

I don't like anyone's eyes. The kids' are so big, he looks positive he's about to be punished in some horrible way, and the dad... well... tiny pupils are bad when you're talking to parents.

And plainly the kid did fall far from the tree, since he came up with the defense, because along with anger on his dad's face, I also see confusion. Of course, he could have repeated what his teacher said, but that still requires some skills.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thursday January 29th

The comic:

I remember something similar where the Plugger had diy bifocals - reading glasses on top of regular glasses.

Um, why do need to see to clean them? You clean them, you put them on, there's still a smudge, you clean again.

Pluggers enjoy to make live difficult and then write about it. But they can't do it in a funny way.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Wednesday January 28th

The comic:

But your checking account balance changes every time you get paid, or finally finish paying off something...

Obviously, Pluggers get paid diddly squat and never finish paying off anything and will work until they die.

Ok, I really don't know what to say about this one. It seems so stupid, yet sad at the same time.

Hey wait. He has a job! And this is not a classic. Not sad, not sad at all.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Tuesday January 27th

The comic:

You think I can pretend that the David Jones is really David Bowie, and he requested RhinoMan in an attempt to reach out to me?

No, my meds are not expired! Stop looking at me like that! I haven't cracked, it's only the third week of school!

Onto the comic itself. So RhinoMan can afford food and a TV and pillows and a lumpy chair/loveseat thing. But this is a classic, and I'd remember a prosperous, happy RhinoMan, so this is way before the economy went in the pooper. Poor RhinoMan.

I am impressed by his flexibility, actually, though I curse Brookins' drawing skills, yet again. Is the TV set up in front of the chair, at an angle, or at the foot? If it's at the foot, he always sits like the that, and ow, my back.

And, ick, girly time, but all that grease on clothing! Not to mention that it should be hot. Unless he went dumpster diving.

It's not truly balanced, or the beer can would be on his forehead. For shame, David Bowie. Go back to your gorgeous goddess of a wife Iman and be beautifully in love together. It didn't work!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Monday January 26th

The comic:

More car problems, though we haven't yet found out if this even runs or not. (By the way, you have to see Dean Booth's version of Saturday's comic. So much funnier! But of course.)

How can they key wear out before the vehicle? Aren't they used together? I don't know from personal experience, my mom's only had her current vehicle since Feb '02 or so, and the key doesn't need regular maintenance!

Plus, for him to only notice a problem with they key once he's in the damned car, well, he never looks at his keys or oh USES THEM TO UNLOCK THE FRIGGIN CAR!

I mean, I know it's a Plugger car, but come on, do these people value nothing in their miserable lives? Lock your damn doors! (My sister is shocked, shocked!, that I lock my door. I'd have to check the house doors at night after she went to bed because she never locked them.)

But even if it's a Plugger car, sometimes there's expensive stuff inside.

Or on the car itself. When we lived in off the base in Italy, my parents left the car doors unlocked and put a sign up saying so, so that potential thieves wouldn't break the windows to get to the radio. The windows cost more and took longer to replace then, back in the old days.

But keys wearing out before the car?

That just hurts my head, and you know I know jack about cars. We've seen Plugger's cars break down, what do they do, hotwire the damn things?

Then again, I think Brookins isn't trying for any kind of continuity or logic or sense. And I could handle that.

But we just had a car break down on Saturday! It's Monday! Not all your readers are Pluggers, and some Pluggers can remember that far back. Show some respect, man.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Saturday January 24th

The comic:

"Listen to you berate me for not getting a cell phone."

"Listen to you berate me for not getting the car fixed when the red light flashed back in civilization, and then start walking toward town, officially to get help, but in truth to run away from this loveless marriage."

Friday, January 23, 2009

Friday January 23rd

The comic:

See, Stella? I knew a Plugger wife rolled eyes from time to time!

Notice she doesn't object, though, or ask for anything better. The single Plugger male may frequent a fast food place by himself, but his lady deserves better!

And by better, I mean worse.

Now, it's been a while since I've been in a Costco/Sam's Club, and you know why? You have to be a member. And pay money. To go. Even if you're going to watch the opening parts of the Iron Man DVD and munch on chicken snacks.

As for non-clubhouse places, I've never seen the TVs at Wal-Mart play a whole movie, or a whole DVD.

I'd say Pluggers could cook and rent a movie from the library, but since this is Pluggerville, I imagine that it costs a bit to rent movies from the library, just like it does here in Memphis. ($3. Tell me you guys in places with amazing libraries pay less for movies. Or more emphasis on education. Because we have interlibrary loan, and I can order things online... but still $3 and it's due in 3 days.)

However, I do find it sweet that a non-young Plugger is willing to leave the house for what could be considered a date. Remember the last time a Plugger couple went to one of these places? It was a first date-ish thing, and I'm not looking for the link. But I talked about more than once, because I really hate the idea of a date where the dinner consists of running around looking for samples. (Well, I remember running around last time I went there, but that was a long time ago and I was probably an inch shorter.)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Thursday January 22nd

The comic:

And non-Pluggers are ungrateful bastards.

Except this is creepy, for some reason.

Not to mention wrong.

My mom chats up everyone at her favorite non-chain restaurants. You hear that, Plugger ding bats? THEY'RE NOT FUCKING NATIONAL FAST FOODS CHAINS! Of course, if she knows the cashier or anybody behind the counter at the fast food place, well, I hope you're in a disguise. Or you brought a book, because your food will be digested before she is done.

But there is no CHEF, no COOK, NO RECIPES at your MCDONALDS! They heat food! The recipes (such as they are, says the McNugget lover), come from R&D, which is not in Pluggerville!

It's great to be polite, but don't be so damned stupid about it, pluggers.

And don't be stupid enough to run it as a classic.

Of course, this could just be a sign that they're "jes folks" and there are no "chefs" in their towns, because they're real people, they're Pluggers. They're stupid and proud of it.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wednesday January 21st

The comic:

I remember this one.

I don't recall what I said then, but here's what I'll say now out of good feelings (finally seeing Om Shanti Om, SNOW!, the inauguration, only one class yesterday), is this sounds pretty similar to what you do with a computer - buy more RAM. Not necessarily huge, but more memory.

I think. I added more RAM to our computer to make the Sims run better once, so that's the extense of my computer ... memory ... adding knowledge.

But wouldn't larger post-its have more to do with eye sight than memory? If you wanted to upgrade your memory, buy more, not bigger!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tuesday January 20th

The comic:

This reminds me of a Garfield strip where he hammers the TV to the ceiling so he can watch TV without even getting up.

Pluggers can't even do lazy right!

Or is this lazy? I honestly have no idea.

Books? Book wallpaper?

Monday, January 19, 2009

Monday January 19th

The comic:

Okay, fine, I'll be cruel, but only because I'm in such a good mood.

The grandchild is the one talking down.

And Om Shanti Om RULES! and I can't get my mind out of "damn, the bad guy was hot, dude, she was a ghost, no she wasn't SRK is so hot... he's as old as my mom shut up" to even focus on Pluggers.

And I thought I could do French homework tomorrow! Oh what naivete! Ooh, then I can watch Good Eats. And maybe more of this delectable DVD.

Yeah, I have to buy this movie, even though a good version costs all four limbs, your hearing, and your voice (from the screams when your mom died, duh!).

Let me answer your question: No, you do not want to know, but trust me it was funny, and I am sure it would be even funnier if I'd seen more than one Bollywood film before this one. (Can't wait to go back to "Deewangi Deewangi" and figure out who's who.)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Saturday January 17th

The comic:

Is cast a word for some other word, god I'm dumb today. All I could think was "don't barf, don't barf" and then in my speech class we had to an ice-breaking exercise and I couldn't remember anything about the 2 people I was supposed to remember anything about. But other people? Oh, totally! Like this one guy is GOING TO THE FUCKING INAUGURATION.

And then in the next class, I was the only one who knew the three ethnic groups in Iraq. My stomach had settled down by then.

Pluggers have time to fish, but I wonder if they're purist douches who act like people with boats that don't leak are sellouts. Ok, I have no idea what the fishing world is like, I just know that fishing is quite boring, at least to me. I can't cast the damn things and hook your own damn worms, I'm going on a walk.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday January 16th

The comic:

And a Plugger's second hot tub is a kiddy pool that's been baking in the hot sun all afternoon.

Try not to think about those bubbles.

Also, we thought the top ten list was bad, we thought a month old 'classic' was bad, but what about this? I have seen this before, right down to the species and the drugged look on the adult's face. (Well, I don't remember the name, but you don't think this is Plugger Plagiarism, do you? I doubt the good folks who have adopted the Plugger name would let that stand!)

Anyways, arrest that baby for indecency and general weirdness! You don't bathe in a hot tub! Or a swimming pool. Yes, it's a huge waste of water and resources. That's why it's so surprising that this is the "first" hot tub and not the "first and last" hot tub of a Plugger's life. Unless the Pluggerville Y has one...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Thursday January 15th

The comic:

Isn't your car often towed because it's parked in the wrong place, and warrants more trouble than a mere ticket?

Though his just broke down, clearly, and rather than interact with the tow truck driver, Mr. Plugger will risk his life. There's a reason we never see this. There is, right?

Wednesday January 14th

The comic:

...when he gets off a bus?

I knew they'd do this! After saying "out of shape" Pluggers, there'd either be yet another qualifier or an assumption that all Pluggers are men, or out of shape, or old, or grandparents, or married, or financially struggling. You get it.

I know it probably had more to do with the sender's gender, and I always like when they keep that the same, but I was just reading about the effects of gendered language on our thinking - especially when we're younger and we want to be a policeman or fireman or we flip through those 5th grade "sex ed" pamphlets that talk about "his cramps." Okay, so you can't turn every Pluggers into a soapbox issue. But damn, this one is more boring than usual. (Shakesville for the post, housewife2k for the sex ed anecdote.)

Also, off the bus? No wonder it's a classic! I rode a bus once and while it was for school, it was for university, so it wasn't yellow. And there were TVs. Anyways, we all had to put our luggage in the luggage compartment. I have a black Joe Boxer duffel that still doesn't require duct tape, and I don't know how old it is, but it wasn't bought for the late July '07 trip. It was easy to find, though not as easy to find as the trunk. ("Who brought their grandma's trunk to frosh camp?" boomed the counselor.)

Now, at the airport, there's a bigger issue because your luggage doesn't stay still. If you miss it the first time, you have to wait. Now, my airplane luggage is a bit more typical, but we tied a flourescent orange string around the handle and there have been no problems with locating it. However, since a wheel broke off the biggest one, not making that much easier to find it, though harder to maneuver.

My sister has brand new luggage and will never have problems finding it - it's got pink and white zebra stripes. Too bad she won't be flying to school this fall.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Tuesday January 13th

The comic:

I remember this, I really do.

I'm just not detailed enough to put 'retired' in the tags, choosing the more common 'old'.

Well, we had that gas prices one where the prices were eerily accurate (if it was written a month ago, I guess), and now, the economy!

Except Pluggers have always been broke.

All I can think (not that I'm in dire financial straits right now due to my financial aid and scholarship refund for this semester, but I always worry about my mom), is you're worried about tires and puns, fucker? And you can afford them next month?

Monday, January 12, 2009

Monday January 12th

The comic:

There are in shape Pluggers? I don't think Brookins could even draw one, let alone think of one. (Yes, fat people can be in shape, but Pluggers don't think way.)

The gender change really matters to me this time. Uh, guys, our weight can change over the month for no reason other than hormones not a slice of pie last night. And, given the average age of Pluggers, I can only imagine that menopause is no kinder to the body.

But hey, they're fat! Hur, that's funny.

Also, god, he can't even draw his own creations right! What did he begin with, the head or the body? Has he never heard of an eraser? I'm just glad there are no grandchildren (you know they would be grandchildren) in the comic to fuck with my eyes today.

Pluggers are more out of shape than a corpse if their knees are buckling, I would imagine. Most weight gain is gradual. You don't put on a hundred pounds while prone and then stand up and crumple. Of course there can be damage done to your joints, I'm sure, but nothing akin to bucking knees... which is ... like arthritis? Fainting? I have no idea?

And I am fat, and I know this, but my belts always buckle. See, I get jeans that fit (and always end up a bit too big after a washing and wearing) and while I paid through the nose, they're quality. And I don't think $40 a pop is too cruel for even the most destitute Plugger, now is it?

There's always, sweats, though I imagine they suffer from Homer's problem: "He says the crotch wears out too fast." As McAllister said, "Yar!That's going to replace the whale in my nightmares."

Why torture yourselves, Pluggers? For the chance to see your oh so original and hilarious observation about life, along with your name, in the paper? To be published?

This is going to be an odd week. Normally, this would just say "You're [a] plugger..." but know we're dividing them up... this has happened before with gender and age and this won't be the end of it. I'm sure it will be followed by a fat "joke" that says "You're a plugger if you're fat" with no caveat about being out of shape.

Does Brookins realize people can also be out of shape and thin? Or "normal"? "Out of shape" comes in all sizes (not to mention shapes), idiot.

One last weird thing. This is the first week of school, right? This will be 4th semester here, and every semester has started on a Monday. The week before is the week the county schools go back, and week after contains a Monday holiday (Labor day in the fall, MLK day in spring).

So why am I posting this when I should be sleeping?

Classes don't start until Thursday! And I only found out at 8pm tonight. I was wondering why I hadn't seen or heard many people moving in this weekend, and now I have an answer. I am so glad I talked to some girl I'd never met (and then another to confirm it, before checking at the school's website), or I'd be sitting outside the classroom tomorrow morning for too damn long before heading on to the next one. I can only hope the person working the desk in the morning will be nice to tell anyone staggering around tomorrow morning at 8:30 that there are no classes today, you can go back to sleep dear.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Saturday January 10th

The comic:

As a woman, this makes me happy. Less guys looking at me in a creepy way, if this is true. But that's not the point. Women aren't Pluggers!

And, wow, talk about timely, not to mention original. The prices actually are accurate - they've been around those numbers here in Memphis, and I've noticed that gas prices in Plugger-heavy areas are often lower than others. (We never saw $4 gas, for example. And some people were paying $3 way before we were. That sort of thing.)

Despite all this, I don't quite see what this has to do with anything, besides showing how damn lame Pluggers are. I mean. Gas prices. Really?

No wonder Pluggers are broke if they only just began watching gas prices. Morons.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday January 9th

The comic:

So this means Pluggers are sane and normal at other times?

Nice to see RhinoMan with a car. Hope he can keep it street legal.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Thursday January 8th

The comic:

Pluggers read?

Pluggers can read and use the toilet? (Cheap shot, I know.)

I was able to salvage something yesterday (Pluggers have shitty friends but won't do anything to change the situation because they're Pluggers), but this.


It's better to leave glasses on the frickin toilet rather than grab them on your way in? THOSE GO ON YOUR FACE!

Can't you at least put them on the sink?

I just... maybe it's because I don't wear reading glasses, I wear mine all the time, I never get these reading glasses things. I know they're code for "old," but most things are in this thing.

And what is the purpose of having that many reading glasses? I do know why you would have more than one, but since when do Pluggers, well, care that much about being prepared.

Oh, I just got it.

"Being prepared" = "boy scouts" = "American Institution"

And Pluggers consider themselves part of American Institutions.

Especially those that were good Back Then, before things got all weird.

Ok, I'm reaching.

Got anything better, aside from a cheap shot at the contributor's first name?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Wednesday January 7th

The comic:

You know, the gender switch is actually quite interesting when you look at the Bear's expression. He's not mad because his neighbor/friend has kept his belt sander (do people really have to sand belts that often?). He's mad because his wife has been nagging him about the fact that they have nothing, and what they do have is shit, and then he lends it out. (Her voice is getting louder and louder.)

If he's getting his tools back, he has to do chores.

As for the caption, it's pretty much gibberish. I mean, I understand the sentence, but what does it have to do with Pluggerness? They have terrible taste in friends?

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Tuesday January 6th

The comic:

Isn't that technology hardware?

Eh, I don't know.

Wouldn't that be like cough syrup or something, though, and not just tissues?

Anyways, I know you never wanted to know, but yes, Virginia, Pluggers can look worse.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Monday January 5th

The comic:

Wow, a Plugger woman with a job. I never.

What is the point of this? It's a new year, so let's talk about how old we are!

I remember when gas was under a dollar! When it was still the 20th century! I am so old, old old old. Boring boring boring.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Saturday January 3rd

The comic:

So this is yet another classic, so soon after that craptastic countdown. It is hard to come up with new ways to say "Pluggers are old." Well it is hard to make fun of them, so maybe creation is equally hard.

Okay, I wrote that before seeing this comic.

I just...

Why does he have so many keys?

Is there writing on the door, meaning its an office door and he's just the janitor? (Explains the amount of keys.)

Pluggers hurt my brain. Why do they do this to me?

Friday, January 2, 2009

Friday January 2nd

The comic:

Pluggers have health insurance, and still they bitch.

They're alive, and still they bitch.

Lovely people.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Thursday January 1st

The comic:

Of course they snore.

And of course they can't stay up past midnight. Or even eleven pm. That's when we see the ball drop in New York when we're watching it.

This year, it was a Honeymooners marathon on WGN. So damn addictive.

Happy New Year.


The comic is reproduced here for purposes of review only, and all rights remain with the creator, Gary Brookins.