Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Wednesday March 31st

The comic:

The caption says, "After a plugger has lived it up, he has to live it down." It was sent in by Brad Wesner of Simpsonville, South Carolina and the box says "Thanks to..." which is nice, I guess. There are four Pluggers, two standing, two sitting. One is seated on the other side of the counter, and one is standing on the other side as well, so we can two fully, including the RhinoMan Plugger. A Bear Plugger is seated close to us, and a Dog Plugger is the other one sitting, holding up pictures and grinning a smug grin with his teeth showing. He is saying, "Remember the St. Patrick's Day Party, Andy, when you wore that lampshade on your head?" They appear to be in a diner and the fourth person is a female Plugger and I cannot tell her breed - no rabbit ears, no chicken beak. She is laughing. RhinoMan has no expression I can understand, but "Andy," the bear one looks horrified.

Anyways, Pluggers don't get to have fun that often and when they do, their so-called friends like to make fun of them. Pluggerville seems like a great place to live!

Also, lampshade on the head? Wow, creative!

And RhinoMan has no embarrassing pictures. I imagine he was eating at a booth (alone) and came over because he wanted to be part of the public shaming. I wonder how the Dog Plugger will use the pictures. Blackmail, of course, but what does he want?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Tuesday March 30th

The comic:

The caption says "A plugger's serving size is all-he-can-eat." It was sent in by Merla Mae Russel of Marion, Iowa, and is called a "classic". This means nothing, because they once called something a classic that was about five months old. It shows a happy Plugger, with a big grin on his face and his tongue stuck out, as if he's licking his lips in anticipation of "all-he-can-eat." He is a bear monster. He is holding a can that says BEEF RAVIOLI 39 oz, and pouring the whole thing into a bowl. I think that's the side of a microwave next to the bowl, because cold ravioli is icky. The drawing is pretty good except for the Plugger himself, but since we don't see much of him, the only bad part is the hand holding the bowl.

Only male Pluggers get to do that - a lady must watch her figure, after all!

I can't be too mad, he looks happy. And food is good. It keeps you alive.

And you should eat what fills you up. Serving suggestions are jokes and they're mostly used for misleading advertising - only 5 calories in a bottle of our soda! (5 calories per serving and how many servings?)

I want some canned ravioli. That sounds good. (College student with chronic pain condition whose pain is slowly going away. Ten minutes from now, this would be a dissertation length and make no damn sense to anyone but me, and not even me come the morning.)

Monday, March 29, 2010

Monday March 29th

The comic:

The caption says "When a plugger opens her mailbox, it's more pills and bills." It shows a monstrosity opening a mailbox, holding boxes as envelopes fall to the ground. It is poorly drawn. It was sent in by Robert Webb of Gainesville, Georgia.

Uh... what? It rhymes, so that's why? I expected "more pills THAN bills" and when copying the caption, I typed that and had to go back and put it right.

So Pluggers get their prescriptions through the mail. Bully for them. Well, only female ones. Wait - Robert is a male name. Why is it a woman? Why is it "her" mailbox? Who picked the gender - the artist or the real life Plugger?

And what is the point?!

*Trying to make this blog more accessible. My HTML-fu is a bit rusty, so I won't mess with ALT text and just describe (to the best of my abilities) the comic. I will probably use the words "monstrosity" and "poorly drawn" every day. If you didn't know, blind people can use the internet. Text based websites are the most accessible, and describing the image helps a lot.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Saturday March 27th

The comic:

That sick Plugger drawing is scary.

How is it true love? It's only true love if you believe that MILs will fight with their DILs until one dies, but that's a tired old stereotype oh never mind.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Friday March 26th

The comic:

Oh no, my roommate and I are Pluggers. My "bedside table" is my microwave on top of my fridge and hers is two big containers stacked together.

Of course, we're not pretentious and don't call them "end tables" or table of any kind - just a place for our shit.

And why would you keep the dog cage/carrier - open - in the living room? If it's open, the dog can come and go, so why have a carrier? Does he like to sleep in there? If so, it should be in the bedroom, because dogs are clingy little monkeys.

This makes no sense. I just think an overturned milk crate would work better.

This - while serving two purposes - just doesn't make sense. The second purpose is bizarre. For a while, Dixie slept in a carrier (she was a puppy, it was a way to make sure she didn't pee everywhere while I slept) and Mikey slept in the one he came in for a bit before graduating to sleeping on mom's bed and growling at me. No, he growled at me while in the carrier. Ironically, we never used the carrier to take him to the vet. When all the 3 had to go, we used a big cage, the same one we used when we went camping. Sometimes they'd sleep in it while we were camping (with the door shut tight), but we weren't indoors, we were camping.

So this still makes no damn sense.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thursday March 25th

The comic:

Yes, it's so funny when you don't remember things.

Or when walking up the stairs (though if it's 40 times in a row, maybe) is exhausting.

No, it's not funny, it's "touching". The hell? Okay, so we "identify" with the exhausted Plugger.

It's sad, and we're supposed to (as comic mockers) go ha ha, he's fat and old. Ha ha.

I do have a solution - keep all the glasses in a box, and keep said box with you. Or keep multiple pairs, if you got the money. And computer glasses are different from reading glasses? Lordy. I have my one pair because I'm near-sighted. I never leave them on a different floor. Different room, yes.

And ha - the glasses are on his head! I've tried that, not comfortable.

And an extra dose of knee-slapping hilarity - he forgot what he wanted to do, in addition to bad eyesight. It's so fun to make fun of people's illnesses and infirmities. I know I do. I go to St. Jude weekly and point at the girls and laugh because they are bald.

I won't go back and edit my own posts, but as a chronically ill overweight person who forgets things and wears glasses, I don't think I've been too cruel in the past. If I am mean in the future, it will be towards Brookins, to the genuine fans who think this tripe is worth money. Eh, I'm contributing - no such thing as bad press! But sometimes the comic disgusts me, and not because it's really objectionable, but just because what's the point. They're old. They have illnesses. They're fat (or drawn that way). It's not funny.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Wednesday March 24th

The comic:

Oh they're so foolish. Today's non-Junior Pluggers were never young and carefree, never listened to rock and roll, no no. They were born stereotypes.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tuesday March 23rd

The comic:

You only take medication once a day?

Ha! Wimps.

Mine is bigger and each day has 4 boxes. I only need to use 3 of them.

I guess this is supposed to be sad? Their lives revolve around medication, and everyone knows young people don't take medication unless they have the flu, no the only people taking medication to stay alive are old.

I - a 21 year old - do not have to get up at 8 every day and gag down 8 pills. Nosiree, I'm "young"! Body, please listen and change accordingly. And regrow a thyroid - a working one, if you please!

Needing medicine does not make you a Plugger, nor is it a sign of old age.

Bah, Pluggers love them some stereotypes. They know what they can do with their stereotypes!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Monday March 22nd

The comic:

Are sandwich boards still that common? I see underpaid teenagers holding signs, dressed as gorillas or Lady Liberty (tax places), but no sandwich boards.

And this is an age old gripe - I'm paying HOW MUCH to shill for these people? Well, it's usually a parent griping about a child neeeeeeeeeeeeding the latest brand name.

And Pluggers celebrate it.

Personally, I don't care. I like my Joe Crab Shack shirts. (Do I still have them?) But I'm not fussy about brands - if it fits my needs, great. I got a brand name purse at Goodwill, and apparently it's a good (not cheap!) brand, as a total stranger told me. What-ever.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Friday, March 19, 2010

Friday March 19th

The comic:

Well at least the victim looks happy.

I need to carry around better pics of my puppies than the ones on my cell phone...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Thursday March 18th

The comic:

You know you can change the channel, right?

I cared this year because of Colbert and the American ice dancing team dancing to Bollywood. I did not have to sit through NBC's coverage to find that.

Anyways, Pluggers are boring, like boring things, and like to get published about boring things. (I hear fishing is less boring if you're drunk and/or have dynamite.) Also, Ohio. Paul misses ice fishing, but it's too expensive to drive up to Michigan or Minnesota or Wisconsin. Poor Paul.

Also - timely! And it's a "classic".

Wait - it can't be a classic for true Olympic (winter or summer) fans - they know when ice fishing was added, so seeing this year after year (I guess they save puns for the summer game) must make them angry. For about .00001 seconds before they move on. I'm the only one thinking about this who doesn't get paid. Sad sad sad.

Good night.

Oh, I watched some of the Olympics and freaked out when the skiers did those jumps, and went upside down, I had the TV on, I poked my head in to bother my mom and then I was like "WTF was that what did they just do?"

Also, the final hockey game. I love frequenting places with so many Canadians - they were so happy! And the descriptions - the Torontoians finally know how the Vancouverites felt! Yeah, it wasn't a good fiscal idea, but it seemed like such fun. And not Plugger like.

(Hey wait, Colbert never tried for ice fishing... hmm...)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Wednesday March 17th

The comic:

Ha, life grinds you up and spits you out, and they grind coffee beans! Except you don't grind them yourself.

Also, that image woke me up - can't sleep Plugger will kill me. Good substitute for coffee, I guess.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tuesday March 16th

The comic:

Less depressing than the last time they showed balance - or was that about balance? - you remember, the look of horror in the rabbit eared ladies eyes, the kid on her hip.

Pluggers are literal, but not because of any neurological problems, but because they're jerks.

It's so funny when a neurotypical person takes a metaphorical phrase literally! Also, how does this relate to life in general? I guess if you're physically balanced the rest will follow?

I do this sometimes - if I have my purse on my right side, I have my mp3 player in my left pocket. Balance, she says, before tripping over nothing.

So yeah, they're jerks.

But he's smiling, which is better than that look of rage/dead inside.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Monday March 15th

The comic:

Bully for them.

Actually, the increasing control computers have over our vehicles is pretty creepy at times, I'd want a manual override for my windows so my car couldn't suffocate me. (It's so obvious I don't drive.)

It is annoying to have to not start, but still grab the keys to roll up the windows of the truck in case of rain.

But they "know" this - I wonder how long it took for them to figure this out.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Saturday March 13th

The comic:

And he needs one. Even I know no "football shirts" - wait, why can't she say jersey? Though the bottom looks like a sweatshirt hem. Okay, that's officially too much thought.

But this neatly sums up "Pluggers" - a cheaper version of something fancy and elite, football, God, cheese, and a henpecked husband. (Why couldn't the wife be the chicken? They both wouldn't have fit in the frame the way he draws.)

And, as a godless killing machine, he is about to go all bear on her. Look at those eyes. He knows he can't go to church and will delay it like a petulant (1)4-year-old, because he doesn't want to burst into flame. "So... baseball shirts are okay?" He will drag out the lacrosse ones to avoid this!

Why is he so pissed? I haven't been since 2004, but even I know this, and if I were going, I'd be RESPECTFUL and dress nice. (It ticked me off to no end that my sister's graduation ceremonies were held in a church. People thought it was bad that my class didn't get to graduate near our town, but at least we didn't have to go to a mega-church. The valedictorian made up for it by praying at the end of his speech.)

Also, I wouldn't go to a church service. It's boring, I don't want to be there. I'm not married, maybe grown-ass adults in a legally binding contract for ADULTS have less rights than minors (who are old enough to stay at home by themselves).

No one's making you go, and seriously, you don't miss the football game. Most services are over by noon or one (we went to the 8 am one for reasons I'll never care about). I don't go for one major reason - it's boring and pulling out a book would probably be disrespectful, and as a Southern Young Lady, I should sit still and not draw and write in the little book provided for bored kids. I also don't believe in it, and making me go when I don't wanna certainly won't change my beliefs! It seems very personal, and if I must do something religion related, I'll watch Life of Brian. But if I have to get up and get out, I'll take the dog on a walk. I did that in 2006, so I didn't have to go to church (and it would have been "forced", even though I was a legal adult). Nature is a better sanctuary... unless there are bears!!!

Anyways, they do this every week and it's such a waste. Also, I appreciate that this was meant Saturday, so everyone could see it, because some people don't get the Sunday one.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Friday March 12th

The comic:

And that's why they're not invited anywhere.

Wait. In Pluggerville, could they ban pets? I mean, the pets are smaller than the Pluggers!

And they do act like an entourage at times - "Who are you, why do you want near my woman?" AKA yap yap yap yap! Of course, mine are scared of strangers (Dixie and everyone wants to pet her because she's gorgeous), jump on people's legs, begging to be rescued, or yell at them. So Wickett is my only bodyguard. Le sigh. (Wickett has problems. Dixie has decided to become a mother and she bathes him regularly. He looks like he was dumped in a vat of hair gel and smells terrible!)

I like puppies.

Sorry. It's Friday, it's raining, my cold is on the way out, and someone my mom knows died this morning. So I'm not in the mood to be mean. Puppies are cute.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thursday March 11th

The comic:

So are they getting fatter or older? Either way, I don't see an attempt at either humor or heart-warming-ness. Why can't I get Plugger readers to comment and explain what the fucking fuck this comic is for. (Duck & Cover gets conservative trolls all the damn time.)

And the part left unsaid (but seen in Rhinoman's defeated expression) - they can't afford better fitting clothing.

Isn't it hilarious when your body changes and you can't afford to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe?

Aside from Rhinoman's expression - probably unintentional - this really illustrates how BAD an artist Brookins is. I can believe he was a political cartoonist, most of them are utter hacks who need tons of labels to let us know that horse shaped blob is in fact supposed to represent the GOP, while the one with the trunk is the Democratic party.

And then there's old political cartoons - talking 100 years old - such quality! Of course, the comics back then were much better drawn as well. I'm not a total crank - I do like some of today's comics. I want to buy all the Pearls Before Swine treasuries (I just bought the first one Sgt. Piggy's Lonely Hearts Club Comic and it includes notes from Pastis next to comics. "This is why I don't draw recliners."), all the FoxTrot books, Mutts is adorable, Get Fuzzy rocks. (I have many Far Side books, not enough Calvin and Hobbes and I think all of Bloom County.)

But my love of PBS shows I'm no art snob. I also like xkcd. It's all about knowing what you can do. I think Brookins, like Tinsley, thinks he can draw. Oh, he can draw better than I can, but he still sucks. Big time.

I often wonder why he chose to use animals. Maybe if I'm bored enough I'll e-mail him and ask. But I'll be respectful and not include a link here!

According to Wikipedia, it's in 60 papers, in prime Plugger places like the South (it's never been here and I don't remember seeing it when I read the comics in the Atlanta paper a billion years ago), Mid-West, Plains states, and the Rockies.

Who knows - if newspapers don't die out, it may be in more papers as the population ages and becomes more Pluggerfied.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Wednesday March 10th

The comic:

I don't buy it. Sure, Pluggers still buy newspapers, but knowing what compos mentis means? And what if you can't figure out the clue, does that mean you have yourself declared unfit for... whatever and check yourself into an old age home?

This makes no sense.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Tuesday March 9th

The comic:

This is so wrong.

And I'd need another shower after using one covered with animal hair, but Pluggers have fur... I itch.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Monday March 8th

The comic:

Um. Wow. You can schedule naps?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Saturday March 6th

The comic:

It's funny because he's going to die.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Friday March 5th

The comic:

He drew the same legs and then slapped a torso on there, not caring about our eyes.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Thursday March 4th

The comic:

They've already done this - I think with a poorly drawn dog barking.

And now we see the inside.

But some of the Homeland Security advice seems Pluggerish - duct tape, anyone? And the alerts (I live near a base) are increasingly meaningless - just like Pluggers.

Why is he smiling? Is he smiling?

That is one tiny bed.

And of course, non-Pluggers just lock the damn door and think nothing of it. Maybe if my sister watched the news and was worried about terrorists attacking our backyard, I could get her to lock the damn door once in a while! But this comic says that we (non-Pluggers) don't feel secure with our door locked. Or something.

Lazy all around - bad drawing, lazy concept. The concept can be laid at the submitter's door, but the drawing is all Brookins.

And I call BS - books? Plus, there should be a lamp on both sides of the bed, unless they're synchronized sleepers and readers.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wednesday March 3rd

The comic:

Won't hurting your back end up costing you more money in the long run?

And we get firewood from my uncle. Where is he getting his wood to chop? That shit's expensive.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Tuesday March 2nd

The comic:

Yes, it's true. 70 F is too hot in summer, but too cold in winter.

This is amazing.

Also, from Florida? Really? Starke is a bit north (I googled), but still.

I spend much of the winter cursing heaters, so I think about this a lot. It has a lot to do with what it's like outside (especially if you have shitty insulation) - when it's 100 F and humid, anything above freezing is too hot, but when it's raining (no snow day) and near freezing, crank that sucker up! (Or not. I have the window wide open, the fan on, and I am that obnoxious college student who wears flipflops year round.)

Weather changes. Pluggers are so perceptive!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Monday March 1st

The comic:

Kids! They have these imaginations but lack the ability to convey what they think about! It's so funny!

Chicken Woman (with rooster's crest) is topheavy - not a fat comment, a bad drawing comment.

Why does she look like she wants to get up?

I find this sweet - kids drawing whatever and saying it's something - thanks for tainting this Pluggers. Of course, it's embarrassing in a few years when mom's like, oh look, she drew a cow and called it a dragon!

I love to draw, but I have no talent for it.


The comic is reproduced here for purposes of review only, and all rights remain with the creator, Gary Brookins.