Thursday April 24th

The comic:


That's not good.

That's not good at all.

And yes, the "childproof" cap is anything but. And it's craptacular as hell that arthritis medication is locked up that way. But don't use a minor! Especially a seven year old! There's no one else in your life?

Monday, April 21st

The comic:

Josh's take.

Dean Booth's brilliant parody.

My take?

I'm going with the tag "pride," because the birdlady knows no one will get mad, not at her! Not for trying to make everybody's life easier!

I sometimes do this, but only when there's no line and/or I have to dip into pennies because of poor planning. Also, they may ask - give you a round amount of change - a dollar, a dime, instead of 87 cents.

What's funny is they're all Pluggers, so everyone in line will do this. And when the cashier gets off work and buys something? She'll use exact change.

Friday, April 11th

The comic:




Man, two birdladies in one week. Who have I angered? Oh what do I care - I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't done done done done with my two papers. One hasn't been turned in yet, but I am finished.


Onto people who hate people like me.

I thought the daily grind was work - Pluggers don't work? Or they don't refer to work as the daily grind.

I cannot believe a Plugger has a shredder. Wow. I know it's only there for the atrocious pun, but still. Wow.

Oh, wait - lady Pluggers don't work! Silly me.

Monday, April 7th

The comic:



You know, the Plugger birdwoman bothers me more than any of the other creatures locked in Pluggerville. It's easier to accept mammalian humans, I guess. Also, I can't stand Shoe.

Now I see the caption. (I saw the top half of the cartoon first.)

Pluggers are fat.

But wouldn't she have been winded by tying her shoes?

That is one scary looking Plugger - she needs to sit down, drink some water, and ::shudder:: put on something cooler. If you know you'll work up a sweat within five minutes, why not wear something cool. I cannot fathom exercising in sweats, even in winter.

Hey. I've got too many comics to look at and try to make sense.

Or I could go mow the yard...

I'll take the Pluggers air-conditioned bullet.


Hey! I know I said I'd be back last Wednesday, but after the DSL was hooked up, the computer went crazier than usual and the tech guy was like, "you have a virus, you have to get this fixed."

It was supposed to be back a week ago, but wasn't. I left for Frosh Camp on Monday, and when I got home yesterday afternoon, it was back!

High speed internet is so awesome!

Onto something less awesome, eh?


Monday the 16th -



For some reason, when I first looked at this, I thought of Britain - like she's a British chicken. (Isn't bird British slang for a girl?)

But it's not. Yet another North Carolina submission.

Oh wow, take that hippies! We don't need to do a damn thing to help the environment, because we hang our clothes on a line outside.

That's actually something I've done, I did it a lot last summer and the summer before, but now, we have no line, and no place to put it. We do have a folding metal rack, and it holds excess or things that can't be dried in a dryer. I don't know about Wilmington, maybe it's not humid there in the summer, but I do know that one sunny day, I put my clothes outside. Hours later, they were still damp. No wind, only humidity. I think the clothes got wetter.

Actually, this is a pretty decent joke by Plugger standards. And it is what we should do to save money and energy, and it's a lot cheaper than a windmill or solar panels. (I'd love to have solar panels over my room - it bakes all day, reaching 80 degrees and staying there until the wee hours of the morning. I'd love to use solar panels to get it down to a crisp 70 all day.)

But that's silly.

As for the drawing, it looks too damn windy. I've never had dripping laundry, where you can see the water droplets. I know summer in the south, and when it's windy and sunny and after noon, there's a very good chance there will be a short, messy thunderstorm that can cool down the rest of the day, or steam it up.

The water droplets could be rain, in which case, yay, stupid Pluggers. I win!


Tuesday the 17th:

Of course he eats at all you can eat buffets! Big shocker there. I think Dilbert's dad lived at an all you can eat buffet restaurant for years - it was open 24 hours, and there were wetnaps in the men's room or something.

He sold his blood to pay for this meal. I hope he has some citrus.

As for "quality equals quantity" - um... er... he's broke. This is all he'll have to eat for a week or so, even though he eats fellow Pluggers. (I believe that's a chicken leg on his plate.) So yes, the more food he eats, the less chance he has of passing out from hunger on the walk home or losing his figure.

And of course, it also points to stupidity. Virginians!

Plugger Virginians!


Wednesday the 18th:



Ha ha ha! GPS is stupid, all you need is a map, dur.

Not.

One of my sisters at Frosh Camp (don't ask) got horribly lost at Orientation and walked all the way to Oak Court Mall! She had a map of campus, but she didn't know where she was.

That's the problem with maps and the greatness of GPS - it tells you where you are, you don't have to guess.

And if this Plugger hates technology so much, why doesn't his car have '30s suicide doors? Why doesn't it have to be cranked? Where's his horse and buggy? Shame.

Oh, as for folding maps... good god... Mom never takes a map with her if she's driving solo - maybe MapQuest directions, but not usually - she feels better with a passenger dictating directions. And MapQuest printouts fold so much easier. We also write them down on a sheet of paper for greater ease.

But on longer trips, we always have an atlas. It doesn't fold. It goes under the seat.

We still don't have a GPS - they weren't quite standard in late 2001. But we'd never refer to our printouts and atlas as a GPS device!

And his car sucks. And probably can't run, so a GPS device would be useless.

Brookins cannot draw vehicles for shit.

Thursday the 19th:


See?

Using your dad as a mechanic is cheap, and probably not a good idea unless he is one. What you save by not paying for labor, you pay a thousand times over in repairs.

Not all guys are handy. And, what burns me, not all women are helpless when it comes to vehicles.

And her car probably broke down on the way to school or her job (to pay for insurance and gas, because that thing gets one mile to the tank, but not repairs!) because her dad doesn't want her to be independent. He probably fixes the obvious problem, then causes another thing. Hero complex.

I don't like my dad, and I don't like Pluggers. If I can combine the two, all the better.

Friday the 20th:



God, he needs to go to Covington Pike (a road that is famous in the area for a section filled with car dealerships) or his equivalent and take some damn pictures!

I can't draw a car to save my life, but at least I know that.

Okay, I just read the whole caption.

That is so fucking funny! The non-Pluggers see danger, or are at least being sensible, and the Plugger doesn't get it. He's going to get robbed, not that there's anything in there worth taking.

And yet another sign of old cars - at least they know cars can be locked and unlocked remotely and beep, but that's too scary for them.

I hope this was sent in by somebody about an idiot relative. Or just completely made up!

We lived in Italy around 1990, and had a crap car. The good Italian cars are out of any honest enlisted Navy man's reach. Mom and Dad never locked it because the windshield and windows were worth more than the radio.

But I don't see a Plugger being that sensible. Or living in Italy.


Saturday the 21st:



I love the expression on the Plugger's face! This looks like a snapshot taken by a family member for some purpose. Way to break the 4th wall!

I don't like the rest of the cartoon, of course, because I don't care about my PJs as long as they're comfortable and will keep me warm or cold as the weather dictates. And that they're decent enough in mixed company.

But I'm not a Plugger! Only non-Pluggers care about fashion now? Hate this one.

Actually, I do like my PJs and put some thought into them - Tuesday and Wednesday night I wore guy's PJ pants (Rolling Stone tongue all over - classic rock tees and lounge wear is woefully nonexistent in most women's clothes), a white camisole, and because of the mixed company of the cabin, my favorite t-shirt that I got for free 7 years ago this October - and who knows how long the people before me had it!

I don't put that much effort into clothes, but I wear what I like and what I think looks good. So I'm not a Plugger.


Sunday the 22nd:


I can't make out the ingredients she's putting in there, but the only thing that should be cooked in a crock pot is ribs with barbecue sauce - smells great, and they fall off the bone.

The rest - meh.

And guys can be cooks too! There always is the possibility that this was sent in about somebody, but please. Guys can cook, and even if they can't, crock pots aren't that hard to master.



Monday the 23rd:

My god, they can't even get out of their poorly drawn vehicles to eat!

Tuesday the 24th:

Only Pluggers have poor enough vision to not be able to see their glasses when they're not on?

I call offensive bullshit.

Unless you've got granny glasses or Buddy Holly ones, you can't see the damn things when they're off. Small wire frames and clear glass are amazingly hard to find if you need them to see things a few feet in front of you!


Wednesday the 25th:

Um... I hope he's not actually driving, I hope he pulled over first.

He wears glasses too! Ha!

Um, Mister McKee, most cars have these things called "windshield wipers" that do what you are so idiotically doing. If the rain is so bad that they can't, you should pull over as soon as possible, unless you've got to be somewhere at some time. Though most people have "cellular telephone devices", like car phones, but they can be used anywhere, and you can call whoever you have to see and say a tree just flew over my car and scratched the paint on the roof, so I got off the road, I'm sorry, I'll get going as soon as it lets up."

But a real Plugger wouldn't do that, because that's smart, and we're not good at smart in Pluggerville, are we?


Thursday the 26th:

Whoa. These Pluggers not only don't buy American, they don't buy the foreign terrorist goods at Wal-Mart! What is going on here?

And god, I hate it when people pronounce Target that way.

Isn't Taiwan part of China?


Finally! Today's tripe:

More fashion crimes. I loathe "What Not To Wear", but I'm nominating Jean and everyone else I was forced to think about today.

I hate capri pants - if I've worn them, I don't remember.

And I never will.

Shorts or pants, Pluggers, make a decision, we're at war here.

Yet another one about a subject that I know nothing about.

Well, I mean, I know the basic facts and procedures, I just can't do it.

What am I referring to?

Driving, of course.

Today's comic illustrates the "Middle America" part of Pluggerville, as do all relating to driving.





This is the most famous couple of Pluggerville - it shows that the town is incredibly tolerant, probably on the way to gay marriage soon enough.

Like many things in this comic about cars, I know what cruise control is, I just fail to see how a nagging passenger is the same as setting your vehicle at a certain speed while driving on an interstate.

This premise makes no sense. A brick tied to the gas, now, that would be Plugger cruise control.

The nagging passenger could be a substitute for OnStar, some of the new commercials show that OnStar can tell you what's wrong by doing a diagnostic test via computer.

But OnStar is much newer than cruise control, which is older than me. I'm guessing it was a Plugger that put his car in cruise control when it first came out and fell asleep, knowing the car would get him there. Of course, that's an urban legend, but I don't doubt Pluggers would do that.

These comics that feature drivingg drive home the point that Pluggers are not city folks, nor do they live close to cities. They never use public transportation, because it's not available there.

What pisses me off about this is the gender switch. Men can be backseat drivers, too. It's not the '50s anymore, Brookins, women drive just as well as men. God, I hate that stereotype. It appeared in MAD more than once, but one I really remember is about parking meters and the way to get rid of them - let the women drive!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha.

The image of the wife as the nagging passenger is incredibly stupid and offensive. It was sent in by a woman!


Her husband/brother/father/male friend could easily be the backseat driver, especially if she's learning how to drive. (Always the old junker.)

Let me end this on a happy note - the "woman" in the comic will use her nagging to lead to the death of the man - then her young can eat and get fat before she eats them.

I love perverting comics.

I have excuses.

But you don't care.

"Where's my incisive, cutting critique of today's Pluggers?" you wailed for almost 48 hours.

I do have some valid excuses, but most are based in procrastination and sleep. And the dogs!

Plus, when I looked at today's comic, I was baffled. And I still am!

And I just saw yesterday's.

Who allowed this tripe to be published? What reasoning is there?

Let's start with yesterday's, I can pervert it with cannibalism, which is always fun.



Who doesn't do this? Since I've known how to cook, I've always made more than I needed. It's called a microwave and extreme laziness when hunger strikes. A couple days ago, my mom grilled pork steaks. I had the last one today. Same with pizza.

It's not unusual in any way, at least not to me.

Though I do like the margarine tub leftover containers. We've never done this, the closest we've come is reusing Chinese take-out containers - the plastic soup bowls are great for many things. The margarine tubs go in the trash.

As for the cannibalism - egg salad, scrambled eggs, chicken salad, anything with chicken, her husband that died in front of the TV...

Now today's is confusing, and I know why. It is based on my ignorance, not the comic. Ha!



We don't have a riding mower. I wish we did. Hank Hill has one, and his yard is smaller than ours. Case closed!

That is one fancy-ass shed. Ours came with the house and it holds more than our mower. I'm assuming other sheds hold more than one thing.

Plus, I thought the Rhino was constantly broke and didn't have the money for a house with a yard, but who knows.

I just do not get it. It makes total sense that a building would cost more than a lawnmower - and since when is $250 something to sneeze at? These people are the average people, $250 is big money! At least in my family.

I don't get it at all - how is this unique in any way? Everybody with a yard and a shed is a plugger, especially those of us without riding mowers.

A comic about marriage...

with no loathing involved!

How sweet.

Really.

Take a look at today's.



Finally! The gender matches!

Though the species don't, which is just creeping me out more and more because dogs kill chickens!

And chickens lay eggs, and dogs don't, so this couple ain't procreatin', which means that gay marriage is okay in Pluggerville, because that's one of the asinine arguments against gay marriage. (No kids can come of this union.)

He probably snores, and his eyes are probably shut as well as not changing the channel.

So the husband and wife don't hate each other, but we still have a stereotype - guys won't stick to one channel.

In my house, it is kind of true - Wickett, the littlest dog, is very bold, and will sit on or near your face or chest, often near or on the remote when he sits on Mom. He's changed the channel before.

I fell asleep yesterday while Mom and Beck were watching Judge Judy, and the judge said the mother was an unfit mother and I said, "She beats her kid." That was never mentioned in the show, and I don't know why I said it. If I fall asleep around others and a TV, I say odd things, and they rub it in.

Augh!

WE GET IT.

THEY'RE OLD.

By the way, one will kill the other within five minutes.

Sorry I missed yesterday.

I still didn't feel good, and when I felt better, it was storming or threatening to, so I couldn't get online.

I may feel better, but yesterday's strip confuses me.



So... huh? Oh, now I see - Pluggers are cheap.

Plus, it's Florida, and that guy's retired, he doesn't need to own more than one suit. Guys can wear a dark suit to a wedding and a funeral (hopefully not the same day), while women can't.

But we're talking 20+ years out of style... Cheapskate. Don't be surprised if you're not in many photos, Gramps!

But I'm still confused! Maybe it's because I've never been to a wedding?

But today's strip I understand completely.



Except for one thing...

Pluggers have DVD players now????

And they think they're saving money, but they're not. Netflix seems great. You pay $5 a month per DVD you can have out. So if you pay $5, you get one DVD, watch it, send it back, and get another one, and repeat until you're done. You can pay $10 and have 2 DVDs out at once, and there's no monthly limit to how many you can turn in and rent.

Library DVDs have due dates. And you have to pay for each movie and get it back in less than a week. And if you pick up 3 and it's less than $15, well, you can't pick up 3 more.

One monthly payment! No due dates!

My aunt and uncle in Nebraska should be Pluggers, and they're signed up with Netflix. The library's only open a couple hours 2 days a week (Tuesday and Saturday), and they're nowhere near a Blockbuster.

I've rented movies from the library. (VHS, that's how long ago it was.) It cost less than Blockbuster, but was due in 3 days. Blockbuster lets you have them a bit longer, but Netflix still seems the best of the bunch.


Unless they get movies for free from their libraries...

Pluggers have DVD players????

Eek, I didn't mean to come off as a shill for netflix, we don't even use it, I'm just going by what I see in commercials, their website, the library, and the local Blockbuster.

Two for one!

Sunday's strip has been posted!

I have no idea why it wasn't there two days ago, or why it's there now, but it is.



Pluggers are lazy - but they're the salt of the earth 80% of America that does the dirty work. What am I missing here?

Also - he's henpecked!

Except she doesn't have a beak...

You know... I have a dog here on the floor, she's lazy, but she's a female of the species. There are guy dogs and girl dogs. Do all these pluggers live together or something?


Today's strip is right on time.

But very sleepy.

I just got my 8 hours, thank you very much. I went to sleep at midnight and woke up at 8 because somebody was calling. I think I was already awake when the phone rang because normally, I can sleep through everything.

My dad's a plugger. He has a set nap time, and he's "always there for [my sister and me]", but not during nap time!

Again, they're lazy or retired. Hard working people have work to do after lunch, we don't have siestas like they do in some countries, because we're Americans and we work hard.

We're also stupid. Naps are really good for you, I may take one, but I'm doing nothing today because that was a call from the director of the volunteer job and she's not going in, so I can sleep! But I shouldn't, because an hour long nap will keep me up until 2 in the morning.

Since that's the same creature from Sunday, no wonder he hasn't touched his 'honey-do' list - he's sleeping all the time.

And what the heck's a 'honey-do' list anyway? I've only seen it in bad comics.

Pluggers are Old, Take 4.

Again with the old thing. Today's strip makes a lie out of the comic's description - old people can't work as hard as young people, though they have to now that everybody's broke.

Though I guess they were hardworking.



I love dollar stores - they have some of the most unusal things. One had a book on getting rich by Donald Trump.

We're currently looking for a coupon sorter and can't find one at any of the dollar stores in the area.

They also sell candy.

One Christmas, my dad made my sister and I shop (separately) at dollar stores for gifts for our (my sister and I) family and friends. Becky actually found something cool for me - a glow-in-the-dark inflatable ball that I hung from my fanpull for a couple years. She complained that I didn't appreciate her gift, so I blew it up and hung it up. And then she complained that it scared her when it was dark in my room! You can't win.

I don't know where it is now...

Back to the cartoon, maybe it's because I got less than 4 hours of sleep, but jeez! We get it.

They're old.

When was the last time a dime store actually sold things for a dime? Aren't we talking my great-grandmother's time here?

And dollar stores here don't sell things for a dollar - we have almost a ten cent tax! They should sell stuff for 91 cents.

Chickens don't wear glasses!

I wear glasses!

Today's strip is another glimpse of the Dr. Moroe-style madness of the Pluggers' world.



They've taken our medicine.

Much less fuzzy today.

That doesn't mean today's strip will make more sense, it just means that I will.

Um no wait, maybe it's better if I'm asleep or upside down?

No, today's strip makes sense, it's just sad.



I've been using the label 'cheap', but these guys are cheap for a good reason - they're broke!

God, how old is that Beetle? I bet the trunk (where she carries her young to the market to pay for gas for this heap) is in the front, that's how old it is.

I'm putting this under 'common phrases', but I don't know what the hell an 'economy car' is. One that's cheap and runs cheaply and is new? What, I don't get it, but I wouldn't, I don't drive - but I do watch TV, and I've never heard this phrase used. I'm lost.

Nonsense - chickens can't drive, or Dixie the chicken-killing-chow would have been run over long ago. Case closed.

Pluggers are Amish now?

It's called a watch, people!

AUGH!

And the cohabitation thing, again, Dogman will kill ChickenLady!

Marlene what'sherface lives in Montana. There are farms in Montana. Farms where dogs may kill chickens if they get out!

Though that's a big chicken or a dog the size of Wickett...

I didn't know the Amish lived in Montana... wait... they had to use technology to take those pictures... I'm lost...

I just don't have the energy.

But I can't sleep!

Here we go.



One - why would skinny dogman ask this question? Did she call and say her ice maker was broken?

Two - her young are in there, dogman!!! Run for it!!!

This is disturbing.

In a number of ways.

Check it out.


Oh, look pluggers are cheap and reuse things. That's good. My mom actually has the bottom of an egg carton in a top dresser drawer, holding some jewelry.

That's okay, I keep my eyebrow rings in a cup with Johnny Depp's face on it.

But what's disturbing about this is the star. The bird lady! The chicken lady! They have a dog/kangaroo/rabbit lady... why did you use the chicken lady?

Egg cartons... in Georgia... hold CHICKEN EGGS!


EW!!!!

Oh leave me alone.

Chloraseptic tablets taste bad and my mom's on me to make a list of questions for the doc, when he didn't answer any of our questions from last time except to get all pissy and make mom cry.

But that matters not, because if I don't look at this strip, someone else will. And I don't want to be responsible for that.

(Ah man, it can't be April fourth two thousand seven already, can it? I was just getting used to 2004.)

Today's has me all confused!

So the dogman's living with the bird lady. Does that cause confusion?
Yes.

Because this smiling mutt
(Er, substitute a dead chicken for her rug)
killed not one, not three, but two chickens at my aunt's farm last summer. And our cocker spaniel who died a year and a half ago regularly killed the birds that came in our backyard. Dixie's shown no interest, but she does kill palmetto bugs all the time - if he shows a buglady living with dogman, chaos!

The senior plugger's using a cell phone that flips open. Does that cause confusion?

Yes, because most of the time these people are so scared of technology, you'd think a senior one would be worse!

And finally, does this apply to me or anyone else?

It did, but I am one sick puppy. I only have one doctor in the phonebook of my cell phone right now.

So... maybe I am a plugger?