Friday October 31st

The comic:


DUDE! Proportions! This makes my eyes weep. On their own, from the wrongness of it all.

Also, wow, I can't believe it took so long for you to find out, Fran Padula, that non-Pluggers are curmudgeonly little bitches who can't stand it when others succeed. It's why I do this blog.

Thursday October 30th

The comic:


That chair looks off. You'd think tv loving people like Pluggers would have more comfy looking chairs.

And don't get me started on the tv.

As for watching a classic sitcom vs drinking, well, I don't drink. And I like TV, though back-to-back I Love Lucy isn't for me. Back-t0-back Good Eats, now we're talking.

Sorry this sucks. I feel like shit and this is so blah, you know?

Wednesday October 29th

The comic:


Short-order chefs? Well, la di da!

Those kids are creepy. Brookins can't draw hands. And the non-bow wearing kid needs to stop staring like that.

Also, a bow? Why isn't she in a dress? I'm trying to think of non-formal, non-"bald baby" times that I or my sister wore a bow in such a fashion.

The grandkids didn't have to a be a boy and a girl, but well, that's more normal. And lord knows Pluggers are normal!

I'd forgive the ellipses since it's a little kid saying it, but a grown man wrote it. She's not pleading and dragging pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease out. If she were, the question mark would be on the other side of the ellipses.

Also, wouldn't grandpa Plugger bond more with the grandkids if he helped them make their sandwiches? PB&Js aren't rocket science, and they don't look too young. And you use a butter knife.

I know they have to ask - strange kitchen and all.

One more thing - if they live with their grandparents, but they're only "short order chefs" (chefs making pb&js!!!!! Ahahahahahahaha... Pluggers sure do love themselves the pretentious labels!) on the weekend, that means they don't give a rat's ass about what the kids want during the week. Huge surprise, I know.

Tuesday October 28th

The comic:


I know a weed eater can fit in the trunk of a car. Of course, a Plugger car is smaller than a regular one.

Also, who keeps a weed eater in their car? RhinoMan has a shed, why don't you?

This is just a major disconnect - lawn shit in the trunk of your car. And not new.

I understand the caption - some people treat their cars as rolling lockers (students), offices, or just storage. My sister certainly does.

So all Pluggers are slobs are now.

But a weed eater.

In the trunk of a car.

That is hard to find. They ain't small people. How can you lose a weed eater in a car trunk?

Brookins, your illustration sucks.

Monday October 27th

The comic:


That's depressing.

Like mondo depressing.

Do these people not have a kitchen counter? (Where I used to keep my mini pharmacy)

Or a closet? (Where it is when I'm at home) A cupboard? A drawer?

My dad is the only guy I can think of that has medicine at the dinner table - in a little shot glass so he can take his meds with his meal.

Who has centerpieces anymore? Maybe on big meal days, but they take up valuable real estate that would be better occupied by food.

I don't know what this is about - Pluggers are old. I stayed up til midnight for this? (Actually, I stayed up til midnight because I slept all day. But still.)

Saturday October 25th

The comic:


Pluggers have never gone on a second date.

Friday October 24th

The comic:


Online doesn't have a hyphen.

That's all I've got. She is polling people, and doing it over the phone line.

Whatever.

I know they have computers in Pluggerville, but anyone who makes tuna casserole probably wonders why the remote doesn't work on it.

Thursday October 23rd

The comic:



Sprinkle is a funny awesome last name. I included awesome because, well, I'm just glad nobody reading this knows mine. It's not embarrassing, exactly, just stupid. Though it sounds right with my name after 20 years, so meh.


Why did I talk about Mrs. Sprinkle? Because I saw her last name before seeing the caption. I finished the first few sentences, looked up and my jaw dropped.

Are they depressed? Or is this yet another "Pluggers are old" day?

And what their opinions are worth? Where did that come from? Are they saying we don't care about our old people? (56 is old? Shit, man, 56 isn't old. Come back in 20 years. Of course, Pluggers are old from day one, so making it to 57 is a huge deal.)

This could have been clever - a dark-skinned person checking the "other" box in the race section. That tells you what your opinion is worth.

Of course, if Pluggers over the age of 56 want to be represented in approximately ten year blocks, they need to stop acting like friggin clones. Annoying clones.

I can't sleep so I'll probably be back here again right when I lay down with some brilliant bon mot that just can't wait til morning man!

Wednesday October 22nd

The comic:


When I saw the top half of this comic (no little Plugger, just enough to know it was the chicken), I thought of how Dixie killed a chicken. Only because I was talking to some people from Nebraska, and that's where her reign of terror began

Anyways, this is should be called a Plugger Food Bank - after all, Pluggers are animals and they're feeding their fellow Pluggers. Stale bread. Classy.

Geese suck, anyways. The ones at this one park bite and harass the ducks, and oh those are ducks in the comic. I think. The band around the neck means it's a duck, right?

The chicken lady is so weird here - it's like the rooster's crown was placed on Brookin's old female mammal template. Nothing is birdlike about her - no feathers, no beak.

So maybe she wants to live with the ducks, she knows this is an unnatural existence?

The kid could care less. He doesn't look like a monster.

Yeah, I don't have much to say. I don't know what the hell the phrase is supposed to mean or why it matters that they've interpreted it as the quintessential old person activity, feeding birds. (Yeah, young people do it too, I did before going off to do something more interesting, like roll down a hill.)

It has something to do with getting followers or supporters, right? Is it Biblical in nature?

I just realized I never want to see Plugger religious iconography - pictures of saints or Jesus - eek!

Tuesday October 21st

The comic:


A Plugger... reading?

A Plugger woman reading?

More than one?

I gotta sit down.

Of course this came from a city. I mean, Denver is totally... a city. That I have totally heard of.

But I guess Pluggers wouldn't attend book signings, because don't you have to buy the new hardcover book and stand in a long line? Ok, I don't know, I've never been to one. I met this author soon after finally getting his book and I didn't ask him to sign it! (He was speaking about... writing? most likely.) And the other author I met, well, I didn't have a copy of his book because it wasn't in paperback yet.

And when I loaned a book out to a classmate, I scrawled my name all over that sucker! I even put in a note saying something along the lines of "Idiot LOST MY BOOK please return it to me".

I don't lend out many books. Oh, my sister takes them when she's in a reading mood, but yeah, well.

Horrors of horrors - my mom still has a book a coworker lent her like more than 5 years ago. I'm possessive of my books - not saying I won't loan one out to a friend, just saying that I'll be nosy and expect it back in a month (I realize other people don't read at my rate and I'll try to accept that) or at least a status report. "So do you like this book that I happen to adore?"

I've also never borrowed a book from anyone but Becky and various libraries. No wait, I think my 6th grade teacher had a bookshelf and we could borrow books from her. I think. That was 9 years ago.

But I would say what Mrs. Edna Houndstooth is saying, and probably scribble my name in the cover. I just have to find other readers. I just finished this awesome book about Japan, and one of my classmates is taking Japanese and probably majoring in it or something, and I was like, hey, check out this book. Nothing. Also, it's a library book. And the ending was kind of a downer.


Where was I?

I wanted to make a post tonight about how Sarah Palin is a Plugger and so are her "real" Americans, but then this came up. Reading! Sharing!

This is the exception that proves the rule, whatever that means.

Goodnight.

ETA cuz I'm a restless ninny: So this is the only reason she has for putting her name in or on her books? How sad. I've got a book from 6th grade with my full name, address, school, and grade. And most likely phone number. Though I can't remember which book right now. Though I do know my name is all over my copy of The Westing Game. That book rocks every time I read it. Many of the books I got from about 10 to 12 usually have my name. Why that age? I don't know. It is definitely a way of saying "I am here, this is my book!" Plus, I've seen similar writing in used kids paperbacks.

I just checked my copy of Dealing With Dragons, and it just has my first and last name on the inside back cover. Very restrained, so obviously I got the book when I was 12 or so.

And I submit that her note of her name and current phone number are more important, from an historical viewpoint, than the author's signature. In fifty, a hundred years, if the book survives all the subsequent readings and movings, that name will mean more because we won't know who she is. The author? Pfft. It's on the cover. Not exactly a mystery, you know?

Monday October 20th

The comic:


Where did the kid get the money in the first place? He doesn't look old enough for a real job, but this is Pluggerville, so he probably earned his money shucking corn or something rural, in Massachusetts.

His dad is an idiot. What can ten dollars do? Pluggers must live in an America where ten dollars gets you something important, vital... though ten bucks would buy enough ramen to last until payday... hmm...

Saturday October 18th

The comic:


I thought this was a guy - you know, a professional the kind us non-Pluggers hire to paint less than a square foot of our wall - at first, but dude, is that a chest? And earrings? And Brookins female template?

I just finished Boys Don't Cry. Talk about a snapshot of a Pluggerville - no, not the characters, the town. Rural Nebraska. Nebraska.

Except this one is from Minnesota. Oh, every state has rural redneck areas that seem as dead-end as a town in rural Nebraska.

What is there to say about the comic itself? Whatevs, to quote my sister who was a total bitch but I wasn't miss sweet 'n' nice myself, so I still love her. Like she reads this.

Friday October 17th

The comic:


From RhinoMan to gender stereotypes! Gotta love Pluggers. I think the only theme has been reruns.

And of course this was sent in by a guy. From Texas. There are good people in Texas - my aunt and uncle, for one. But still. No surprises here.

He doesn't want visual peace and quiet, and that's weird. Peace and quiet is not the norm, it is something different, something private. The living room recliner may be comfy, but dude, you're in a public room.

I'm big on nature and the outdoors for peace and quiet, especially with a Bollywood soundtrack courtesy of my mp3 player. Those things are portable peace and quiet, you know?

And I am like the Plugger here. I create different noise, I cut off the outside world (to an extent).

Put never to escape a nagging spouse. 'Course, I'd be the nagging one, what with the gender and all, so I'll never get to experience his peace and quiet.

Also the newspaper? Dude. Come on. At least he's reading.

I feel for his wife. If she loves him, she'd be worried if he didn't respond and just did this without telling her first. ("Honey, I'm really stressed out. Can I have some peace and quiet?") But this is a Plugger marriage and that is crazy talk! One day, dude, she is going to take all the money and go to some Plugger paradise. (Boise.)

Thursday October 16th

The comic:



Sorry it's late. College has a way of pulling you apart, and if you feel sick or tired, well, good luck.

I did get online today (funny story - I came back from my first class and slept for 7 hours! Ah, youth.) but didn't want to touch this. I don't you know, like Pluggers.

But I should have! RhinoMan, back in dire straits. Poor guy.

But according to some annoying commercials a while back, cash is bad, so it's a good thing he has no cash. Where's the plastic, RhinoMan?

Wednesday October 15th

The comic:


You're a Plugger if you're nosy.

This says Pluggers have many friends (or live in teeny towns) and they care about their friends and neighbors, while us soulless non-Pluggers would delete the message saying the test came back negative, you're not going to die before eating some arugula.

I seriously doubt a doctor's office would leave a message for the wrong number. Your answering machine/voicemail features your name (or your phone number).

I'd think of changing doctors if mine did this. Sloppy with innocent information, what about the delicate stuff?

Tuesday October 14th

The comic:


Our first Plugger trucker!

I'm surprised it took this long.

But we have seen Pluggers stay at motels before, so are they no longer Pluggers? I'm confused.

This is specific and general at the same time. I'm sure there are truckers out there who don't act like Pluggers, but my uncle acted like a Plugger, especially while trucking.

The surprising thing about Plugger truckers is the laziness. Yes, driving all day is easier than working as a surgeon or cartoonist, but some of the stuff my uncle did on a run to New York was, well, not lazy.

This is gibberish, but it is done and I can go to sleep now.

Monday October 13th

The comic:


You're from California, dude! I'm sure California still has farms and rednecks, but this is a plains image if I ever saw it.

This is so ugh. Has anyone ever done it nonironically? ("Look at me, I'm a Plugger!")

Pluggers are idiots.

Saturday October 11th

The comic:



A bungee cord? Has the woman never heard of a binder?

You're a Plugger if you deliberately make your life difficult. Because you're an idiot.

Seriously. What does this say? Pluggers are packrats? They like to cook (and eat)? They keep paper copies of their recipes, which, hmm, is practical and more portable than even the teeniest laptop.

But still. What the hell? I want generalizations, America!

Friday October 10th

The comic:


He looks pissed!

So Pluggers have finally discovered expensive coffee. Get this. They don't like it. I never would have guessed.

Thursday October 9th

The comic:


BULLSHIT!

Pluggers are the obnoxious SUV drivers!

Plus, Brookins can't draw for shit. That truck with camper is so short, it looks like a simple, not-exactly-new SUV.

And I have been in the back of an SUV and the back of a truck with camper. One is safer than the other (seatbelts), while the other is more fun, because you get to play Barbies and stretch out. I have never seen an SUV with as much play space as pickup.

And with improvements in MPG for SUVs, a new non-Hummer SUV gets more MPG than your old Nebraska short truck.

Seriously, Brookins, work on your vehicles.

The Gender Sender Bender is really funny, because while soccer moms used to be in minivans, they soon switched to SUVs. (At least on the Tee-Vee.) And I can see a Plugger as a smug stay-at-home soccer mom. (Smug! SMUG! Nothing against stay-at-home soccer/hockey moms!)

As for SUVs vs. trucks when it comes to moving things, I guess in rural America, like Nebraska, where everyone's hauling dirty farmy stuff, a truck bed is better than the back of an SUV. And a camper gives you protection from the rain. (Though it cuts off the height.)

But Lincoln is a city. With non-farm jobs. My (Nebraska) aunt and uncle, while they do have chickens and a pickup truck, have non-farm jobs. And they live in a teensy town that can't even be called a town. Maybe a village. Hamlet. Incorportated area. Sometimes they could be Pluggers, but I love them, so they're not.

ETA: Pluggers, you really missed your mark. I get that you're better than me because I have an SUV because I'm rich and stuff, while you're a common man with your pickup truck and camper shell. But now it's you guys with the SUVs (and still a pickup), while us fancy pants non-Pluggers have moved on to smaller cars (and some SUVs).

What would have been better is a real SUV, all muddy because you use it off-road, with a caption implying that non-Pluggers don't.

"You're a Plugger if you miss the mark when describing what makes you a Plugger."

Wednesday October 8th

The comic:


Then why watch in the first place?

That's not always a bad thing, you know. You can learn about somebody new, or a new book from a guest you've never heard of. I don't recognize all the guests on The Daily Show and Colbert Report, but that don't make me a Plugger.

Pluggers live in vacuums, I swear. He's got Tivo, because he never sees commercials for upcoming concerts and movies, and he doesn't watch anything but Jay Leno.

AND IT'S MICHAEL CERA! ONE R!

COME ON!

ETA: Oh, hey, this demolishes any teensy chance that Pluggers love Arrested Development! (Actually, that would be Brookins who didn't watch it, but shut up.)

No, I don't know who any of the other names are. I think there's a new tv show called Little Britain, but I don't know. And I'm not looking it up. I kinda recognize the other names.

Who cares?

It's Leno.

Waitasec... a Plugger watching Leno? Alright, Central Time Zone, so it's on at 10:30, not 11:30, but still. How could he stay up so late? Meth?

Tuesday October 7th

The comic:


That is one convoluted piece of nonsense.

I like the way he's looking at that mug. That's not a half-lidded resigned look of an old man who bounced between jobs all his life because they keep closing, that's the wide-eyed look of a guy who's bounced between jobs all his life because he keeps destroying the places and feasting on his coworkers.

Monday October 6th

The comic:


I want him to start mauling somebody.

Please?

Saturday October 4th

The comic:



Is that a young RhinoMan?

It is!

That doesn't quite make up for the pun and general suckiness of the comic.

The idea of young Pluggers is creepy. You think they were born old. (Not to mention already married!)

So Pluggers use up all of their energy at a young age and refuse to get off of the recliner until it's repossessed. (Poor RhinoMan.)

This is a proud comic. They're proud of their more "innocent" baseball games - no organized leagues or metal bats for them! And they're better people for it - after all, they're Pluggers and we're not.

Friday October 3rd

The comic:


Pluggers are liars.

And they feel comfortable admitting it. So that's not his real name or location, but I'm sure he's a Plugger.

Though it would be awesome if this is a CC reader. We haven't had one of those in a while, have we?

Thursday October 2nd

The comic:


What?

No, what?

Trophy wives marry for money, prestige! Though I guess being able to go to a movie is pretty damn special in Pluggerville.

Calling your wife a trophy wife isn't a compliment! Well, yes, you're saying she looks good, but that's it. Of course, this is Pluggerville.

This town is so wrong.

Wednesday October 1st

The comic:


Ok, this has happened to me. "Get up, you're not sleeping on the couch." "You can't sleep with your glasses on."


But not often enough to call it a pre-bedtime nap. Course, I'm not a Plugger.

That young Plugger is disturbing me. Maybe it's her hands.

Or the signs that she's young - the headband. Yes, the '80s are making a comeback with the young people (I saw a girl in an outfit that was as '80s as you could get without the acid wash this weekend), but no one wears a headband once they get boobs.

Now. Who sent this in? The daughter?It's not even insulting towards Pluggers, so she'd have to be serious about it. The wife? Only if she's a gold digger awaiting his death could she find anything amusing in her husband's constant sleep. The sleeper? If so, I just don't get the Plugger mindset. IT'S NOT FUNNY. And it's not cute, I'm not looking at this and going, "Been there, let me put this on the fridge!"