I'll have an excuse for lateness this time.

I win.

I will be out of town until the 4th. I'll have access to the Internet (high speed), however, I don't want to save the comics on the other computer, and I can't deprive you of the same depressing mess by making you click on a link.

I'm just that nice.

So today's, Friday's, the day the iphone goes on sale - I can't wait to see the Pluggers address this in a few years.


I won't even look at these until next Wednesday evening, or even Thursday!

What a great holiday.


Let me get this straight.

You go through the trouble and expense of buying a bowling ball, and you don't get a secure bag?

What?

My sister and I bowled in the last century as an after school thing, we got bowling balls at the end and used an old family bag. Becky got her ball redrilled, and when we went bowling, she just carried it.

I used one of the lighter alley balls - no disinfectant, I'm a wild child.

And I beat Becky a couple times, because I am so awesome. (Mom actually won.)

What else?

Oh yes, this guy is a moron.

More poverty.

This comic is depressing.



And I've never seen that happen -usually, the people aren't there, and even though you're not supposed to... we still drop stuff off.

Repeat strip.

It's Sunday again.


This comic is a "senior moment".

And Dub? DUB?

I did not sleep well.

And I never got on the computer yesterday, because I was asleep, reading, watching TV, or gone.

And I've noticed that when I get up, especially this month, I get sick to my stomach.

I have to believe that it is related to looking at this foul comic. Especially since the last thing I watched before looking at it is The Daily Show and Colbert Report, which makes this look worse and worse, or in today's case, Pirates 3. (Keith Richards was awesome.)

Onto the tripe, huh?

Yesterday -



That never gets old!

It's also quite disgusting, since the main reason our house needs vacuuming is because of the other vacuum cleaners. And they're not dependable. I spilled a little ketchup on the kitchen floor and asked Dixie to get it. That loonie tune sniffed it and then rolled in it!

Though Wickett is a vacuum cleaner from time to time. When I eat on the floor, there is no begging. However, as soon as I'm done, Wickett's there, looking for anything, because he's never fed. He also eats the hair that Dixie sheds.

Bu yes, how amazingly original "lots of pluggers" are.

Today's isn't much better.

What?

The kids in the back seat that looks about 50 feet away from the front seat know the driver's not buckled up?

And what is a seat belt warning system? One of my friends has a car that beeps every few minutes if she doesn't buckle up, is that what they mean?

I always thought cars shouldn't start if the seat belt's not buckled, but they're not quite there yet.

It's also fun to fool the sensor in the front passenger seat - my backpack made the light blink once, so from time to time, I balance on a hand on the door and the middle cup hold thingie, just to see the light go off.

Of course, I always wear a seat belt, I do not encourage law breaking unless my stomach hurts.

It's about a common plugger theme...

*spins the wheel of cliches*

Old age!




And also, way to alienate whatever female readership you had.

So from now on, all Pluggers will be bald male animals? That are mammals, and therefore always have hair - the animal used today is not bald. A bald dog has mange and is sick. This guy has problems.

This could also be twisted in a different, better direction. A barber doesn't have to sweep after cutting a Plugger's hair because... the Plugger never cuts his hair! He's a hippie, man. It's been 40 years since the Summer of Love, some of those hippies could be old farts now.

Which is still less scary than any Plugger comic involving the Chicken-woman.

This would make me sad if I had to do this...

But I don't! The last time I did it was before I turned 8, my dad had me do this, though not like today's unlucky Plugger.



It was gasoline powered, of course.

This Rhino is the saddest of all the Pluggers, he's always broke, he uses a pawn shop as an ATM!

So, naturally, he can't use a gas mower or even one of the new push mowers. Our neighbor across the street has one that he uses only for the front yard - it's small and they have a huge tree surrounded by flowers and pretty landscaping.

I saw the mower for the first time a few weeks ago, and I loved it! It was so cool.

You're not a real man because you use a mower like that because you have no choice, you're too broke to afford a gas mower.

I just don't see this guy as Scrooge McDuck, who would use such a mower to save money (he has a lot). This guy is using this mower to save money so he can afford to eat. (Another's Plugger's young.)

I hope this guy uses real deodorant.

Ha!

I am so early.

I win.

However, today's comic is just disturbing.

Moreso than usual, if that's possible.

Why?



Look at where the Plugger is from!


EW!!!!!!!!!

Murfreesboro may be north of Memphis, but it's still in Tennessee! Even in the Smokies, it still gets hot!

Deoderant does not cause cancer, people!

There may be some hope, it says favorite, so maybe there's more than one deoderant that he uses... like one for his body?

Not that animals sweat of course...

You know, there are many more disturbing comics out there, and most don't use animals as people, besides Shoe which is pretty disturbing. (It stars birds and once they talked about eating birds.)

It is hot, people, do us a favor, wear some deoderant - even if you can't smell it, somebody can. And your monogrammed shirt could get stained if you don't.

Oh man...

I try to be timely...

And this is what they give me?



This thing is older than most of the regular readers of this stupid comic.

My abdomen hurts.

I'm not looking forward to today's comic, it can't help matters.



We get it!

They're "simple folk" who don't go for monogrammed things, because they don't even know what a monogram is!

I have no item of clothing or anything besides a couple notepads with my first name or first initial.

But if I worked in a job where my shirt said my name, I wouldn't say it was monogrammed!

Sheesh, pluggers everywhere, you're depressingly stupid. You think you're witty.

Homer Simpson already went down this road as Max Power.

Homer: So I want the monogram to read "M-A-X P-O-W ... "
Employee: Sir, traditionally, a monogram is just initials.
Homer: Max Power doesn't abbreviate. Each letter is as
important as the one that preceded it. Maybe more
important! No, as important.


Pluggers everywhere are ripping off Homer Simpson.

Short and bitter.

Nothing sweet about this "comic".


Sunday:

She likes her hot dogs raw, not well done. Savage.

There is a grain of truth in the choice of species, though. If your pets have thin hair, you're supposed to use pet sunblock when they're out in the sun.

Chickens wear flip-flops, dogs go barefoot. She also likes her food with a taste of tetanus, apparently.

As for the global warming "joke"...

whatever.

Monday:

This is just sad.

And incredibly evil! That's a young dog, eating chicken in revenge for his father's death, plainly that's the crazy chicken lady who keeps her jewelry in her children's old cribs. Or wombs, whatever.

This would be a bit less sad if the word "young" was placed in front of pluggers. Kids are supposed to be broke.

It is fun, as a kid, to run around Costco or Sam's, trying samples.

But eating out?

Too broke for McDonalds? Where'd she get the money for glasses? Were they donated from Lenscrafters?

Today:


Crappy cars. Ha ha ha ha! That's why they have to eat store samples. Those places are isolated, you need a full tank of gas to get there, and when the rust bucket is full, you're broke and must resort to eating all of the samples.

Plus, that truck is probably so old that it gets 1 mile a gallon, downhill, highway.

Dog'd have more money if he killed that chicken. She's huge! Worth a lot of money.

The last two are proof that the majority of Americans (the five that send in suggestions that aren't CC readers) are not only broke, they're living below the poverty line.

These people lead sad lives.

Give me a fat or old plugger, please.

Only a day late.

And for some people, it could still be the 15th.

Not me, I slept til 10, and fell asleep after my shower (after my mid-day bike ride) which made me miss Jeopardy! and a chance to finance my family's financial future, at least until Monday.


I just looked at today's comic and it is the weirdest thing I've seen all day - I mean Friday this time - and I watched a History Channel show on the end of the Earth and/or the Universe and a 2 hour thing on hippies. In addition to reading Donald Duck comics and Ask A Mexican!

My weird threshold is high - I'm nuts. And this comic continues to be the weirdest thing, but never in a good way.

Let's get on with it, shall we?

Friday's comic:



Pluggers are old.

There was a download for the Sims from a unique site that I lost the link to due to various computer snafus. Look, just because I can type without looking at the keyboard does not mean I'm a computer expert!

Anyways, it was something your Sim could buy that was basically useless - a broken computer that had one action - kick. Loved it!

This comic makes me wish I had such an object.

Onto today's.



"Earn" ice cream?

What?

Pluggers are paid in ice cream now?

I haven't had ice cream since the other day - I "earned" it the old fashioned way too - my sister drove to Sonic and got me a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blast with her tip money (she bought Backyard Burger's Root Beer Floats for herself and Mom).

And I look better in summer clothes, if I do say so myself. (I'm the only one saying so, but hey, beauty comes from self-confidence and I don't care what the mirror or pictures say - I feel good in my tank top and purple pirate pajama pants.)

That Rhino has a hard life.

However, I have no sympathies for an idiot from Texas who "earns" his ice cream in any way that does not involve an exchange of money for cold dairy products on a hot day.

It's hot.

Have some ice cream.

Sorry.

I've had books to read and sleeping to do and when I looked at Monday's Pluggers, I was not inspired, so I didn't get back online until yesterday.

It's summer, I'm not in school yet, I can be as weird and lazy as I want to. As long as I read my summer reading (speeches of Martin Luther King Jr), I'm fine.

Onto the comics.

We start with Monday's.

Ha ha! Normally, a well-balanced life means you make time for different things, so your life isn't all about the kids or all about work. This Pluggers life is not balanced in any way that can benefit her, judging by the horror in her eyes. She may be a rabbit - this is her life until she dies.

And on to Tuesday's.



Pluggers are stupid. I mean, this Plugger lives in Florida! Everything needs to be properly sealed or you'll lose it. Trust a Memphis resident on this one. Don't forget mice, but that's what a metal bread box is for.

Though if I can't find a tie and it's something stored in the freezer, I have done that. But bread?

Idiots.

Wednesday's:

This is wrong. It's JUNE. That's a DOG in a PARKED CAR. The dog will die.

In his sleep... napping for all eternity, are you happy?

My dogs are rotten, they've never been left in the car, unless I'm in there with the AC on, but we don't do that as much because of gas prices, so I just stay home and spoil them.

But honestly, he could have found a better setting and a better animal.

That chicken wants to kill him, we know she does.

And, finally, today's.


Pluggers use coupons!

Frozen spam pops?

Excuse me.

We're done for now. I am very queasy from drinking some water with my morning meds and the thought of spam pops... ugh!

Yeah, yeah.

I threw up Thursday night and did not get up until 11 am Friday.

And Saturday, I woke up feeling out of sorts and didn't feel good until now, 4:30 Sunday morning. I think I've been riding my bike too much in the heat - Thursday I was soaked in sweat in the library, dizzy, and incredibly shaky. But I made it home!

So I have to do 3 strips now, and because I'm lazy and my stomach still feels off, I'm going to keep it short.

Friday's strip:
Pluggers are fat.

And ignorant.

And look like men!

Next!

Saturday's strip:


Um, yeah. Who cleans their light fixture every time a stupid bug dies in there? Not me or anybody in my family. But I'm not fat and stupid!

Also, I'd say something about the switched gender, but the woman could be a neat freak and knows a man who does this. (Not anyone she lives with, or she'd clean the damn things out.)

NEXT!

Today's strip:



He really wastes his Sunday space. So glad this doesn't run in my paper. (But it's in color! Ooh!)

Deputy Fife is dead!

Done!

This makes less sense than usual!

Note - I am commenting on today's comic standing over a stubborn dog who will give me sad eyes if I make her move and take my couch.



(Nope, I got sick of it after moving the comic, and said, "Dixie. Move." She harrumphed and walked less than two feet away and flopped back down. Dogs!)

Now, I know many people do keep commonly used tools in a drawer in the kitchen because when you need a screwdriver, you need one now. (While your 10 year old makes you another kind of screwdriver.)

But these are Pluggers!

They're supposed to be hard-working freaks of nature who don't mind getting their hands dirty to save a buck fixing something. (And costing more after they make the problem worse.)

So they should have an organized toolbox!

My dad did, he took it after the divorce, but even we know where most of the obvious tools are in the house.

A box - not a toolbox, but a box nonetheless - on the laundry room (alcove with doors - great hiding place) shelf.

Except for a Philips head screwdriver, which we keep in a kitchen drawer for some reason.

Pluggers are very inconsistent.

I have excuses.

But you don't care.

"Where's my incisive, cutting critique of today's Pluggers?" you wailed for almost 48 hours.

I do have some valid excuses, but most are based in procrastination and sleep. And the dogs!

Plus, when I looked at today's comic, I was baffled. And I still am!

And I just saw yesterday's.

Who allowed this tripe to be published? What reasoning is there?

Let's start with yesterday's, I can pervert it with cannibalism, which is always fun.



Who doesn't do this? Since I've known how to cook, I've always made more than I needed. It's called a microwave and extreme laziness when hunger strikes. A couple days ago, my mom grilled pork steaks. I had the last one today. Same with pizza.

It's not unusual in any way, at least not to me.

Though I do like the margarine tub leftover containers. We've never done this, the closest we've come is reusing Chinese take-out containers - the plastic soup bowls are great for many things. The margarine tubs go in the trash.

As for the cannibalism - egg salad, scrambled eggs, chicken salad, anything with chicken, her husband that died in front of the TV...

Now today's is confusing, and I know why. It is based on my ignorance, not the comic. Ha!



We don't have a riding mower. I wish we did. Hank Hill has one, and his yard is smaller than ours. Case closed!

That is one fancy-ass shed. Ours came with the house and it holds more than our mower. I'm assuming other sheds hold more than one thing.

Plus, I thought the Rhino was constantly broke and didn't have the money for a house with a yard, but who knows.

I just do not get it. It makes total sense that a building would cost more than a lawnmower - and since when is $250 something to sneeze at? These people are the average people, $250 is big money! At least in my family.

I don't get it at all - how is this unique in any way? Everybody with a yard and a shed is a plugger, especially those of us without riding mowers.

The gender matches!

That's why I shouldn't do these before the sun is up.

Today's comic does not apply to me, and I hope it never does. (I know women can have thinning hair as well as men - I see the ads!)



Ooh, Pluggers are old! And men! And "portly".

This comic was meant for old men, wasn't it?

I never blow-dry my hair, I'll rub it dry with a towel and then brush it, and when I was younger, I'd shake my head like crazy. It didn't dry it as much as get everything else wet.

And style? I got highlights a couple summers ago, and I brush it when it's insane, which is often.

I just brushed it while reading the paper, and before we head out the door to wherever - "Did you brush your hair?"

Puppies!

I love dogs, when you're blue they're great antidepressants.

I'd classify today's strip as "Pluggers are cheap or broke" at first glance, but I know it's not, at least not to me.



We've only had one shelter dog - and she was our only pure-bred. 3 were bought through people who had dogs who had litters, and only one of them is still alive today. The other two bounced from person to person to us, and we can't imagine life without them. However, we changed the shelter dog's name (they called her Mo! Her name is Ginger!) and one of the dog's that we got for free. (PJ???? No, Mikey.)

The reason this doesn't fall under cheap is because you pay 70-something bucks for a pound puppy. Hundreds less than a pedigreed one, yes, but not that cheap.

Of course, our next dog will be a pound puppy.

I'm not even going to go into the animals owning animals thing...

Though Dixie likes to lick Wickett's head and neck, and he tries so hard to get her half as messy as he is...

This is sick.

Take some Tums before you look at today's cartoon.




So non-pluggers hate their grandchildren or don't have any? What the?

And "Pap-paw"? I understand Paw-Paw, but not Pap-Paw! It's even creepier because that's his granddaughter, and "pap" means something else entirely to women...

These people are weird.

And Barney's dead.

I'm sleepy...

Let's start with Thursday's strip.

That's just sad.

Then on to Friday's.

That's even sadder. That cola will be laced with a Kevorkian cocktail, trust me.

Good night!