Monday, December 31, 2007

Monday the 31st

The comic:



Number one in the countdown!

We made it!

AND THIS IS NUMBER ONE? What the fuckity fuck is going on here?

I've heard of spouses looking like each other after decades of marriage, pets and owners looking alike, but PLUGGERS AND GNOMES????

Tony Kinsel, you are messed up.

Unless this is meant to be surreal, a joke on Brookins. If that's the case - great!

Great for Kinsel, but not for Brookins. Unless he's fucking with people.

GNOMES DO NOT LOOK LIKE HUMANS!

OR PLUGGERS!

Yes, fat and beard.

But hello, he's ceramic! You're not!

He's evil! You're not! (Well, not gnome-evil.)

That Plugger needs to get a dog or a wife or a cat or a fish.

Seriously - he spends his retirement standing next to a gnome, convinced it will kill him?

And this has run before?

*head explodes*

See ya in '08!

Sunday the 30th

The comic:



No countdown.

I've been spending the break reading the Foobiverse's LiveJournal, mostly because I'm quite weird. Anyways, the Sunday strips are not connected to the Monday-Saturday strips, since some papers don't carry the Sunday one, or don't carry the rest of the week. Also, they're colored in the studio.

Could explain why the countdown avoided Sunday. So those poor paper readers (who don't get the weeklies, or don't get Sunday) won't miss any part of the countdown. Can you imagine the torture? What was number one? Oh noes!!!!!11!111!one!!!

Yeah.

Right.

When Pluggers stops sucking the suck out of suck. (Not dirty, just terrible.)

Oh - the comic -

I know about the Sundays, but sheesh, we had Christmas comics on Christmas and Christmas Eve and Christmas Eve Eve!

Why not today?

So yeah, Pluggers don't go to parties to ring in the new year.

I think it's because they're old, not antisocial. Remember, they can't see the comic all week unless it's in the paper, so 11 is late.

Still - this is so lame. Last Sunday was cute, this was just another rehashing of "*yawn*, midnight is laaaaaaaaaaaaaaate." The only potential for cute is when it's a kid begging to stay up and falling asleep early.

That drawing is terrifying. Luckily Pluggers reproduce by spores, because he'd crush her. (You know they're missionary.)

And the chairs!

That bear scares me, seriously.

Saturday the 29th

The comic:


I have done this, but I don't know what I tagged it with.

Pluggers are plagiarists.

Brookins thinks he's clever, that's probably why this is number 2.

Friday the 28th

The comic:

You're also a Plugger if you haven't been to the dentist in more than 20 years!

How is this number 3? What is remarkable?

Pluggers are old.

Pluggers are lazy.

Pluggers are hermits.

Pluggers kill and eat their dentists, and much like certain snakes, can go decades without a meal.

Thursday the 27th

The comic:



On with the countdown.

Have I covered this? Maybe, maybe not.

Just ick - sent in by a guy.

Who's never seen a woman's clothesline. Those go on little racks inside the house to keep your unmentionables from prying eyes.

Hell, Hank Hill would never do this. And if he's not a Plugger, who is?

Well, the mold for a Plugger. Hank's too bad ass to be a Plugger.

Yeah, yeah, this is fifty years too late. Unless John is talking about his childhood. Bet he had a Sears' catalog in the outhouse.

Wednesday the 26th

Happy Boxing Day, Brits and Canucks!

The comic:



Back to the countdown.

Damn.

I do remember this one, and I definitely know that name!

This is supposed to be a sign of thriftiness (I am thrifty, you are cheap.), but I'm damn sure it's cheaper to get a loaf of white sandwich bread from the Wal-Mart than go to a bakery.

Though Dallas is a city, even if it's Southern. It may have bakeries.

Two more things -

"Daily bread"? This has to be published in some Evangelical publication. Or this was supposed to be published at the turn of the last century, when people needed to bake bread every day. I know they're Luddites, but Dallas is a city!

Also - I love love love love these stores - Bakery Outlets.

The bread was "baked the day before" and it's very good and very cheap. My mom is no Plugger!

Tuesday the 25th

Merry Christmas and whatnot, on New Year's Eve.

Mine was good, and yours? My mom and sis loved their presents. Most were a gamble, since Mom only wanted one thing and Becks never told me what she wanted. I never told my dad, and he got me gift cards for both the book and music stores near my school instead of winging it. (One year, Beck asked for certain shoes and got a cow's head from him.)

Oh? The comic:



Still no sign of the countdown. That's good, I guess.

Very topical for them.

Whatever, no snark.

All Pluggers are Christians, but not members of the denominations that don't celebrate Christmas. Big shock.

Monday the 24th

The comic:



Again with the non-countdown comic. It would be awesome if it was dropped for a few months.

Anyways...

This fits, I guess, male Pluggers (and only male Pluggers!) like their cars.

But, come on! They're blue-collar and not afraid to get their paws dirty! Why would they need a mechanic?

Unless they're like Tim Taylor, except he was actually good with cars.

I don't doubt that there is a mechanic in Pluggerville, Nebraska. There was a garage in my aunt's town of about one hundred humans.

Is that badly-drawn car covered with snow? That shouldn't happen if you have to drive to your mailbox!

Sunday the 23rd

The comic:

Not part of the countdown. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

SANTA'S A PLUGGER?

Oh, oh, oh no.

That's just wrong!

And Pluggers are supposed to be "normal" - so this could have been represented as a fat dude at a party with a hot(by their standards), skinny wife glaring at him as he stuffs his face.

This is actually a cute way of showing it.

AUGH! The world will end in '08, I am not angry or disgusted with a Pluggers comic!

Saturday the 22nd

I couldn't leave 2007 unfinished.

Countdown comic!




I like to bowl.

Bowling is cool.

And there are major discounts for college students at the closest alley.

Now - this is one that ran before April, so I can look at it.

I don't get it - Pluggers get fat as they age.

But how do bowling balls gain weight? I thought that adults stuck to one weight, barring a physical ailment. I started bowling at 11, and I use a heavier ball at 19. (Actually, I was 18 last time I bowled.)

And the lanes changing size?

Dude, get your vision checked. Or you were cheating all these years!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Friday the 21st

The comic:



How was a top ten chosen?

There was no online poll.

They weren't chosen by the people, the creators.

That's wronger than their many other wrongs.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Thursday the 20th

The comic:



I thought the website was broken just now.

This just sucks - and I thought you withheld information - so it would have the little Plugger hiding the sprouts instead of the mom withholding ice cream until he ate his sprouts.

Whatever.

Malcolm in the Middle is on.

Wednesday the 19th

The comic:



I do remember this one!

I don't know if I covered it - I'll try to find out before the countdown is finished.

I guess this is Brookins' way of taking a holiday break, except he did not send collect 10 and send them off on Friday.

As for the comic, I may have already covered it, but I feel like doing it again.

Pluggers have major eating disorders, which is not surprising, considering how emotionally messed up they are.

That Plugger can't help it - look at those eyes! Eyes of an addict, they are.

Do enough cookies come in bags that Pluggers know of no others? (Not even homemade? Those poor bastards.)

Finally - Malcolm in the Middle is on. EVERY episode is hilarious, even the clip show.

Also - a serving size refers to the food! 100 calories per serving size is the same no matter how many people are eating? Of course, serving sizes exist to tell you how much of their product you should eat in one serving, so if the normal serving size (for more than one person) is 5 cookies, it's still 5 when one person is eating it. It may say there are 4 servings per container. That still doesn't change!

Though it just means that Pluggers like to eat, screw nutrition. He mentally changes the servings per container to 1 to make himself feel better.

Which fuels his eating disorder.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Tuesday the 18th

The comic:



This is in the top ten? I'd hate to see the bottom ten.

And Brookins, ya genius, you'll be at number 1 the 27th - 4 days before you can begin the collection for 2008.

So this means we'll be seeing some repeats.

This one looks familiar, but I can't be sure if I wrote about it or not. If it was published before April first, I didn't cover it.

So, the comic - what is the most heard phrase when non-Pluggers eat out?

Something cool about the drawing and caption - Kevin isn't saying the most heard phrase!

Also, Brookins needs to look at a car and a drive-thru. No sign is that small, and since he's already at the menu with the speaker, he doesn't need to be told which way the drive-thru is. He's already there!

Okay, so non-Pluggers eat at fast food places and use the drive-thrus as well. However, we also eat elsewhere. You can relax.

So (not) looking forward to number 9! See ya in the funny pages!

Monday the 17th

The comic:



Psych is on - I've never seen this episode!

Anyway - what the hell is going on?

Pluggers are old - they don't fit in anything from their high school days.

No wait, this illustrates the frugal nature of the Plugger - the belt may not fit, it may hurt, but it hasn't disintegrated yet, dammit!

God, they're stupid.

Back to Psych now, mmkay?

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Sunday the 16th

I'm watching a show about the Black Plague on the History Channel.

Would Pluggers ban gambling in an attempt to stop the spread? Or would they kill the Jews? I doubt they'd be kicking the prostitutes out of town.

I can't wait to make some connection between the plague and today's comic. Besides the fact that they'd be dead - they'd never wear anything as newfangled as a flea collar.


Ha! Not since August 27th has my life imitated this 'art'. Today's comic was made and sent in before I knew about this show. However, the first one was more of art imitating life (mine and every other students), since it was at the end of August - right around the start of the school year.

But still - today is weird! If I hadn't fallen asleep while watching the 7pm showing, I wouldn't be watching it when today's comic came online.

Spoooooooooooooooooky.

Onto the comic -

That's not germ warfare! Germ warfare is offensive, a band-aid is defensive! I suppose the term could be used to describe a band-aid or latex gloves. I don't know - is the band-aid attacking germs? Doesn't it just try to keep them out?

Whether or not germ warfare is offensive or defensive, this is just weird.

"Germ warfare"? Really? This is supposed to be a plugged-up common phrase, one with a different definition than what is in the elitist, white-collar dictionary.

Are they saying that non-Pluggers engage in real germ warfare? Or do we take bigger precautions before we get injured or sick? What?

Of course, the warfare could refer (and probably does) to the fight over the band-aid design.

If so, way to blow something meaningless out of proportion, Kirby Sides of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida!

So the fight is over whether or not the Plugger will get a shot or have blood drawn. I don't recall ever being bribed with a band-aid, though I can see how it might work - if you're EIGHT!

The weird cherry on top - That Plugger is old, at least older than the nurse! And he has to be bribed to ...what? Sit still?

Not to mention the wrongness of giving a shot to or taking blood from a dog's front leg.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Saturday the 15th

My stomach has been upset today - I created three Plugger cartoons in about an hour.

I feel better now, but I don't know what's going to happen when I look at today's comic.


We can relax - it's just another 'Pluggers are old' day. And way to stereotype yourself, Harold Sticht of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

I don't know what the terms mean in the ad besides the name of the car. But - 'V8 crew cab'? V8 refers to the engine, and crew cab refers to the number of seats in the car. They both describe the vehicle, but they don't belong with each other. Or do they?

I'm also pretty sure that Fords have been around longer than Pluggers and Chevies.

I guess our star today doesn't think that you should sell a Cadillac because they're so expensive. Or he thinks that you only sell crap cars, like Chevrolets.

Ha!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Friday the 14th

Alvin and the Chipmunks is out today! We all want to see it. I can't figure out why - it looks funny, but it's so stupid!

I'm sure it'll be funnier than today's Pluggers. Hey, even High School Musical is funnier.



I first read that as "still has the plastic cover on his five-year-old son".

My version is better.

I can't figure out the disconnect between the genders today - I thought plastic covers for couches were what women cared about (no woman I know, but still). So why not draw the chicken lady?

The thought of a plastic cover on this couch is sickening, and I was like, "A Plugger wants to sit on plastic? But it's so hot in Pluggerville!" (Pluggerville being somewhere in the south.) But Wilma Shwarting's from Minnesota.

This falls under "Pluggers are old", doesn't it?

Our couch is more than 5 years old, I think it's going on 8, and we don't have a plastic cover, we never did! Just this year, we've started putting a blanket (god knows how old that is) on the long couch to cover the holes made by wear and tear and Dixie's claws.

Wait - is the plastic cover that plastic that came with the couch? Are they covered in plastic when you buy them? Were they in Stillwater, Minnesota in 2002?

I know our barstools and kitchen chairs were, but I don't think the couch was.

I do know 2 things - it would be better if the last word in the caption was 'son' and a plastic covered couch is uncomfortable. How can you sleep on that? Especially in the summer!

Thursday the 13th

The comic:



Pluggers are old.

Male Pluggers are sexist pigs.

::yawn::

Wednesday the 12th

I am posting this on my laptop.

Nothing new, except I'm doing it at home!

I am not a computer expert at all, but I got myself connected to the internet!

My sister and I are IMing each other. I'm sitting on the couch, she's using the desktop computer. We're silly.

Pluggers is never silly.


I won't get into the potential sexual meanings, because EW!!!!!!

More like, Pluggers need shrinks but think they're all quacks.

The little Plugger looks like the male, which makes me think the woman withholding dessert is his wicked stepmom.

But is there another definition of withholding besides denying something good until you meet the demands?

No Plugger element but the ick.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Tuesday the 11th

I have an exam in less than 8 hours, but my stomach hurts and it is H-O-T, even though it is in the '40s and supposed to dip into freezing territory. Before shooting back up to SEVENTY! In one day!

And people ask me why I hate it here...

The comic:


Oh, thank you thank you lots of Pluggers and Brookins! You didn't say "ATM Machine"! I don't go crazy over things like that, but I expected it from you. Clever move.

This should be Rhino!Man, dangit. All Pluggers look depressed and beat down (wonder why they only have blue-collar jobs?), but he's the king.

How would he know four bucks? That's 16 quarters or 8 half dollars, or god forbid, 4 dollar coins. (The devil's currency, I calls 'em!)

No, it's 400 wheat pennies.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Monday the 10th

Monday usually sucks, but I got up at 8 yesterday to watch Monk, so...

The comic:



RHINOMAN!!!

I've decided RM is a good luck omen, because he's just too awesome not to be, you know?

Anyways, the rest of the comic.

The definition of Pluggers - working at a blue collar job, but with a twist! They look like some snooty lawyer or banker or teacher or stockbroker with their briefcase, but surprise latte-sippers! It's full of power tools!

Joke's on you!

*leather bag breaks because it's not meant to hold power tools*

Don't laugh at the RhinoMan, man.

Is he depressed today?

Where are his eyes?????

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Sunday the 9th

How do we sleep while our beds are burning?

I am done, done done done! with the hard finals - now I just have French and Math. And Math is easy for me, and so is French. Yay!

Now something more unpleasant than a thousand stereotypes about women and math - today's Pluggers! (Please, try not to barf on your computer.)



To quote somebody, somewhere: Fuck the what?

I just burned the idea that women don't know jack about math, and here I got nothin' about cars.

Except - my great-grandfather never buckled up (he died about a decade ago), so he would have had issue with air bags, period.

And I remember an early '60s Dave Berg cartoon about seatbelts - the mom was singing their praises because they held stuff in - her grocery bags, while her kids stood up in the car.

Talk about dated!

So, from what I know about Pluggers (too damn much!) and cars (the gas and break pedals can switch places, I swear!), let me hazard a guess.

Side airbags were introduced relatively recently, and Pluggers don't trust that new fangled technology - so are they potential Unabombers, the lot of them?! or merely being cautious?

I'm going with the first - it's more fun.

On a more somber note, about a better comic, Al Scaduto died yesterday. He will be missed. (Heard about it at the Comics Curmudgeon.)

Al - this video is for you -



Not for Pluggers, god no, not this hippie nonsense.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Saturday the 8th

Yeah, I'm watching a new episode of Psych.

So cool.

So not cool:


Pluggers only speak to their spouses when they want to find something.

Who is the search engine? Anne? Or somebody else?

Let me watch Psych - I want to find out who killed the dude!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Friday the 7th

I'm watching a Monk marathon. It is AWESOME.

Will I be more disgusted than usual with today's comic?

Of course.



Sorry, Monk's solving the case.

(Mr. Monk and the TV Star - I've never seen this one; I only started watching this summer. Same with Psych. But I'm catching up!)

Commercial time - "Here's how it happened..."

Back when the phrase 'two-toned' was popular, Wesley Morris of Rapid City, South Dakota took a look at his old car and chuckled to himself.

"Hun! Check it out - my car is 'two-toned' - the original color and rust!"

Mrs. Morris rolled her eyes, but Mr. Morris kept chuckling to himself. He even wrote it down with the intention of sending his bon mot into Reader's Digest.

Sadly, he was killed by a falling piano, the first to make into Rapid City.

And the last - South Dakotans are a suspicious people.

His wife was blamed for his death because she took piano lessons as a child, though her guilt could never be proven.

His grandkids sent this in about ten years ago, figuring that it would be published because it was old and corny.

After Reader's Digest rejected it.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Thursday the 6th

"Study day"

"Free day"

Bliss.

The far from blissful comic:


Okay, I can handle the technophobic play on 'memory' - kind of. (Or is it a horrid attempt at a joke about Alzheimer's or senility?)

But sticky notes on the dashboard? Do senior Pluggers live in their cars now? Sticky notes can go on your desk, on the front door ("You're going to English today!"), on the fridge, on the counter - but on the dashboard?

And wouldn't the memory be limited by the size of the dash?

If Pluggers can't remember things unless they're written down (how do they remember how to read?), then the sticky notes in the car must have driving instructions. ("Do not put key in any bodily orifices.")

Sad.

Not that there's much to remember as a senior in Kansas.


Stupid late night addition - the majority of post-its aren't even on the dashboard! They're on the effin' visor! We have a small calendar there and whatever doctor appointment is coming up (with backups on the home calendars!).

Still.

Stupid.

Not stupid: classic Whitney Houston. Even with the hair.

Wednesday the 5th

The comic:



That is one big bike to still have training wheels. Wimp.

And I'm to believe that these thinly disguised rednecks don't have ATVs?

Tuesday the 4th

The comic:

That Plugger is about to get some hot liquid dumped on his head.

Pluggers are so happy to be proles, they refuse any attempts to better themselves.

God I hate them.

God I love that name. "Sandy Love Quay"

Monday the 3rd

2nd episode of Tin Man - the scenery made the art in this so much worse.


Fuck off, Pluggers! People can be generous without being a Plugger.

I hate you.

Sunday the 2nd

Law and Order marathon!

Just thinking about Lennie tarnishes this comic.


You know, William Kitzman, some people take such pride in avoiding the trappings of the so-called 'liberal elite', that they think of themselves as elite, and better than everyone.

"Hybrid? Global warming! Haw-haw! It snowed yesterday. Al Gore invented the internet, you know."

So is it a hybrid because it's car with a truck bed, or because he's carrying a rake and organic materials in the bed? (Body parts, not grass.)

The modern 'hybrid vehicle' of today's Plugger/redneck/conservative elite is an SUV with a truck bed. Get with the times, Brookins!

Saturday the 1st

I'm watching Home Improvement right now.

Yeah, it makes the comic look even worse.



Oh make it stop.

I've never had a toothbrush fit in the little hole thing, and I've never cared.

Right now, my brush and paste are in an Opus mug.

Ah, Bloom County. Good talking animals.

Pluggers - wha huh? Who?

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Friday the 30th

The comic:



Gah! Unless she is hanging on that line by tips of her fingers, she is not 'online'!

The internet has been around for almost a decade, surely these bizarre creatures can stop with the 'jokes'. Please?

Thursday the 29th

The comic:




Wheat pennies are awesome.

However - I thought pennies were only lucky heads-up, Brookins. Does he want lucky toes?

Wednesday the 28th

The comic:



Reed Hoover, why don't you submit something to TDIET once in a while? I know Scaduto's on the east coast, but he's not a member of the liberal elite!

She's going to the '$6 Fashion Outlet', but the sign behind her says '$6 Dress'. (I'm going to assume that's what it says.)

So there's more than one?

Now, I've seen these on the Simpsons - they were funny.

This is not.

You know what I hate? Dollar General. Not a dollar store. I got my first trashcan at a Dollar Tree, it broke (the side). Got one at DG - it has not. So ha!

And Dollar Stores have some cool novelties - my sister got me this glow-in-the-dark ball thing, whined that I never used it, and demanded that I put it away 'cuz it was scary. (Attached to my fan pull.)

Tuesday the 27th

The comic:



"I'm a Plugger. Not only am I technophobe, I think of my fellow 'man' as little more than machine."

Monday the 26th

The comic:

Who asks that question?

Oh, my head.

I know I'm a girl, I should know every-little-fucking-thing about fashion, but I just don't.

I know I look good in red.

And I know that Mr. Burns was worried about having pleats ironed into his dungarees - he didn't want to look like a square. Not to worry, those were his bones.

I have no damn idea.

I did not look at this last week and give up. I swear.

Time to play catch up.

One post at a time - I hope to be caught up to the real date by next Tuesday - the day of my last exam. It's at 8, so I'm not going to try to be done before, I need my sleep.


Pluggers is more depressing, more bitter than TDIET and Mallard Fillmore.

I know, I know.

But TDIET has those awesome anachronisms and speech patterns, and Mallard's just f'd up. Both can be funny, not in their intended ways.

Pluggers? Just mean and depressing.

Disclaimer

The comic is reproduced here for purposes of review only, and all rights remain with the creator, Gary Brookins.