I wish my excuse was housesitting.

That implies isolation, peace and quiet.

The truth is, since Tuesday afternoon, I've only checked my mail, and only because of financial aid worries - and I can't do anything about that (at least online) until August first!

The reason? My sister's bestest friend ever (I never even heard her name until 3 years ago, when she moved to Japan - she didn't know me, I didn't know her, no matter what Beck says) flew in from Florida (summer holiday, going back to Japan before school starts) on Tuesday.

Since then, it has been nonstop idiot teenagers. The minimum is usually 3. Yesterday, I got some peace and quiet for a few hours, they all went to John's house after swimming at another friend's house. (Beck was at work.) I spent the time watching movies and reading, and in the last 18 hours I have seen all of the first 2 Pirates movies (Love me some Depp!) and part of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Adrienne didn't care, she wanted to sleep, Becky did - there had to be something better on TV at 11:30 on a Saturday night! I poked my head in during a commercial - she's flipping through channels, insisting something better is on. My movie ended at 12:30... and they didn't watch a damn thing.

Anyways, I have never been big on lots of people, especially Becky and her friends, due to the noise and the mess, so I've been hiding out.

Computer's in the main room, of course.

However, I didn't get any sleep, and the internet and the Sims are surefire ways to stay awake, I've learned.

So I'm catching up on my internet comics!

I won't do another one until Wednesday or Thursday - we're getting DSL! No more getting kicked off the internet for... being on the internet!


Onto the comics, shall we?

(I'm high on Jack Sparrow - so I'll be a bit odd.)

The 11th, which was Wednesday!

Damn them. I need to pick up poop today. I think I did it the 11th, but I'm not sure.

All I know is, I've been saving the bags the daily paper comes in (fit the hand pretty well) for a while, so I can scoop the poop while walking the dogs.

Only...

It's been hot.

Really hot.

So when it's cool, we play in the big, fenced in back yard, after picking up the poop of course.

I thought Pluggers were suburban/rural freaks of nature. Why should they be walking their dog so it can poop? Don't they have yards?

As for the caption, what the hell are they referencing? The US postal service? FedEx? UPS?

And do they follow the dog-looking Plugger around with a scoop and a bag? (Smallish shovel - hose it off afterward, hang it on the outside of the shed to dry - every single pooper scooper we've ever had has broken. Shovel works great.)

Onto Thursday's idiocy!



Where to begin.

First - I've never seen an Eskimo pie, and I live right next to North Carolina. (The eastern edge of the state I'm in does, so there.)

Second - good god, these losers never order Chinese food? Or pizza? Or... anything!

Also, it's faintly offensive, though I can't pinpoint why. I got online Thursday, saw this, and gave up.

Also, why eat ethnic food of any kind, Mister Sharp, if that is your real name? American food not good enough for you? To gitmo with the lot of ye scabrous dogs!


And Friday's fresh hell:

Friday was an interesting day for me. I ate "ethnic food" (stuffed pizza from Villa Pizza at the mall, best thing since the only other great one (that I know of, not that I remember the name!) has closed.), bought a few books and comic books, and for the first time this entire summer, had to call in the cavalry from the library. I was wiped, I could not ride home, and I still don't know why. It wasn't as humid or hot as other days, I've done fine in 100 degree weather, but a cloudy 80 something day, and I need my mommy and her air conditioned truck. And I didn't even look bad, not overheated, just too shaky.


The comic - I thought that was a lady Plugger at first. And no, an mp3 player is not the tune you whistle off key because it is stuck in your head! I'm sure iPods will be inserted into or onto future generations, but we're not there yet.

So a Plugger with a wheelbarrow is an iPod now? And we know why it's full of dirt. Burying the bones of his last "battery", or taking dirt from the grave.

If they weren't so bloody stupid and boring, I wouldn't need to make up sinister backstories!


Saturday's fiasco:


Scroggs. Really?

If I get bored enough today, I will tally how many come from the South and Midwest. Probably too many.

As for the comic, that truck is itty bitty! No truck bed is that size, except for those stupid SUV/truck thingamabobs. When we put the dog cage in the back of ours, we can also fit a human comfortably (me, riding along to keep Dixie happy) or too much camping junk.

Second, I know most of North Carolina is rural, but that's not exactly the safest way for your "best friend" to ride. In the cage? In the cab, next to you?

Every time I've taken a dog in the bed without the cage, I've had a leash.

And myself.

Except for one time, and I rode in the back seat with the back window open, watching her the entire time. She was too tired to move.

But God, that can't be safe. I know that dog wants to escape, you can see it in its eyes.

Wickett had to be groomed last week - he rode in the cab both ways - mostly the front, sometimes with his paws on the wheel.

Dixie and Mikey will be groomed later this week. I don't think we'll bother with the cage, it's so hot. Mikey will probably ride inside (ecstatic at the thought of a trip before curling up in a dejected ball of apricot-colored curls in the back seat after 2 minutes), and I'll probably sit in the back, with Dixie by my side.

On a leash.


And today's tripe:

"Almost finished"????

It's got no walls, no security!

And that tree's not tall enough to warrant a tree house, I'm sorry.

And I want a tree house. My cousins had one, but they moved and the new owners removed it. It was there before my cousins were! I loved that thing!

I get the "joke" - boarding school, boards are used to make a treehouse - ha ha ha ha.

But it makes less sense than usual. How is a pathetic tree house anything at all like a school? Is he going to play school in there? (Best if you have a close relative working in a school and/or are a well-behaved smart kid - you get a lot of old textbooks and teacher's editions at the end of the year.)

I don't think so.

I do not see the connection between a boarding school and a tree house made of boards!

Besides the fact that both contain the word "board".

Wayne Johnson, if that's the joke you sent in, you're an idiot.

And I'm done! See ya on a highspeed connection!

The Plugger pictured is not the subject of today's comic.

It's true - while nobody in Pluggerville is in any way wealthy, today's comic is supposed to star the Rhino.




This poverty thing is getting just as tiresome as the age thing.

However, that's a stupid idea, leaving your car unlocked all the time. I don't care how much the car itself is worth, there are times when you leave important things in your car!

However, this is similar to what my parents (and many people they knew) did in the early '90s in Italy. They left the doors unlocked because glass for the windshield cost more than the radio inside. Maybe it was because of the first war in Iraq, maybe not.

Yet another one about a subject that I know nothing about.

Well, I mean, I know the basic facts and procedures, I just can't do it.

What am I referring to?

Driving, of course.

Today's comic illustrates the "Middle America" part of Pluggerville, as do all relating to driving.





This is the most famous couple of Pluggerville - it shows that the town is incredibly tolerant, probably on the way to gay marriage soon enough.

Like many things in this comic about cars, I know what cruise control is, I just fail to see how a nagging passenger is the same as setting your vehicle at a certain speed while driving on an interstate.

This premise makes no sense. A brick tied to the gas, now, that would be Plugger cruise control.

The nagging passenger could be a substitute for OnStar, some of the new commercials show that OnStar can tell you what's wrong by doing a diagnostic test via computer.

But OnStar is much newer than cruise control, which is older than me. I'm guessing it was a Plugger that put his car in cruise control when it first came out and fell asleep, knowing the car would get him there. Of course, that's an urban legend, but I don't doubt Pluggers would do that.

These comics that feature drivingg drive home the point that Pluggers are not city folks, nor do they live close to cities. They never use public transportation, because it's not available there.

What pisses me off about this is the gender switch. Men can be backseat drivers, too. It's not the '50s anymore, Brookins, women drive just as well as men. God, I hate that stereotype. It appeared in MAD more than once, but one I really remember is about parking meters and the way to get rid of them - let the women drive!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha.

The image of the wife as the nagging passenger is incredibly stupid and offensive. It was sent in by a woman!


Her husband/brother/father/male friend could easily be the backseat driver, especially if she's learning how to drive. (Always the old junker.)

Let me end this on a happy note - the "woman" in the comic will use her nagging to lead to the death of the man - then her young can eat and get fat before she eats them.

I love perverting comics.

Something about last Sunday's comic.

I can't imagine a paper carrying this 7 days a week - I mean, this is the biggest waste of colored ink and space imaginable - you have a huge space to work with, a chance to do something extraordinary, but you don't take advantage of it?

Idiot.

I thought of something new about this blog post (my post-Independence Day catchup), specifically this comic from the 1st.



I saw that and said he was an idiot, which he is.

However, I now realize that I was quick to judge.

The Plugger figures he can fix anything with duct tape, that doesn't mean he actually can.

Don't get me wrong, he's still an idiot.

But my reaction was based on the assumption that he actually has fixed things with duct tape, not that he's merely paid for the mechanic's, plumber's, and dentist's mortgage, children's college education, summer house, winter house, and Learjet.

Though I'd love to see what would happen if you actually came at a priceless artifact that is very significant to a lot of a people with duct tape.

The man is stupid for carrying around duct tape, and he's also stupid for saying such an ignorant thing. Unless he's a wiseass having fun, like people do with the Buckingham Palace guards.

But I doubt it.

And I blame Brookins for yet another bad example of an entry.

I really *do* want to do this daily.

It's just...

I don't get online like I used to. I don't know why - it's hot, humid, and unbearable outside, and this computer is downstairs, where it's always pretty cool.

I am reading more.

And sleeping...

Usually through the heat. And the heat that was beating the eastern side of the Rockies is making its lovely way across the country this week - I'm not leaving the house unless I'm guaranteed semi-decent temperatures. (Usually by an incoming storm.) But hey, I have ridden in 100 degree weather this summer, so I can make it to wherever and back to the shower. If I am flush with cash, I've made pitstops at Sonic, Baskin Robbins, and a gas station for a nice treat.

Back to people who are too dumb to come in from the heat.

Friday's comic:




Is this one a case of mixed up gender? I'm going to say maybe. I'd hope women would be smart enough to carry something better for them while running in a race (hopefully not a marathon, look at that poor creature) like, I don't know, water?

Virginia may be north of me, but they're not cooler in July, not even in the mountains.

Though she sent something into Plugger's, so...

Wouldn't it melt in the heat?

Hershey bars are, of course, better than PowerBars. I've had a few good granola ones, but they're usually rock hard, though a good breakfast on the run in middle and high school. Hershey bars, not so much.

But... this example of a time to eat a PowerBar is so stupid, even by Plugger standards! Sheesh. If I'd gotten on the computer Friday with the intention of writing about this, I would've gotten right off.

Saturday's:




He's talking to frozen food.

He's talking to frozen food!

I swear I don't get these people. Wasn't there a fishing Plugger earlier this week? What, fat cats don't like to fish because they don't like water?

And now Pennsylvania's a desert.

First time I've seen a cat.

I'm sure other animals like fish - like bears! Now if this cartoon featured the fishing Plugger, that would be awesome. "Look what I caught, honey!"

And today's, which finally addresses the heat. Kind of.




We had a wading pool for the dogs, but they never used it, and Becky used it as a tanning aide. Set up a chair next to it, and put your feet in it. Aah, bliss. For about ten minutes.

Let that damn dog in the house!

I see the dog's water is out in the sun. In July.

Or if the dog has a water dish in the shade, with ice in it (we always do that if they'll be out while we're gone, and we need a new outdoor fan), god knows what's in that pool.

Let the dog in the house!

Another repeated comic!

Remember the controversy earlier this morning about 2 practically identical comics running in less than a week?

Of course you do, you're smart.

Well, I found another set. One from April 18th, the other from June 19th.






Themes are repeated, that's to be expected, that's the point of a series of books, movies, a tv show!, but the caption is practically identical in both! At least with the other ones, the bags were used to hold different things in different places.

Can you plagairize yourself? No, these are submitted by readers, so does that mean that the one that comes in later was stolen? And if they're so similar, why not blame "lots of Pluggers everywhere"?

The drawings are different, of course - different species, even. But the first one is the Rhino, and we know he's depressed and broke. But the other creature? I didn't think so.

Is anyone in Pluggerville in the black?

And I'm sorry, one takes place at a secondhand dealership and the other one is just a random gas station. And one is about an old car, while the other is a beat up old truck. I thought guys loved their vehicles and took care of them, like Hank Hill, they poured the emotions they've been conditioned not to express (love) into things like the truck or the yard.

That's a stupid stereotype of course, but Pluggers are stupid stereotypes.

Maybe the truck guy can't get his fixed or buy a new or used one in better shape because he keeps wrecking, and I'm sure your auto insurance rates for the insolvent members of Pluggerville were high to begin with, I can't imagine what they're like after whatever caused all that.

I've got to give him credit for waiting 62 days! What restraint.

An updated thought on a comic that ran on June 18th.

And a blog entry that ran on the 19th.

This is the comic and blog entry I'm thinking about - I was looking for another one, and my tendency to not name the entries in anyway relating to the comic I'm talking about made me just guess and I found what I was looking for.


But I also reread what I wrote about the society page of the Penny Saver couple of the year, and a new explanation hit me.

Since no gender is mentioned, we don't know if this idea came predominantly from men, from women, from young people, from married people, from people that aren't married to each other, or just from random cranks. (I'm going with the last one for 99% of the comics analyzed by your humble comic analyst.)

We have established that Pluggers are cheap, whether they are broke or not. Both pop culture Scrooges are major cheapskates - I love Scrooge McDuck's cheapness, because most of my comics about him are from about 10 years before I was born, if that. And comics don't lie.

Back to one that is not lying, because some people lead sadder lives than mine. (I don't mean health issues, I just mean monotony and ruts and boredom and exciting eggs.)

The idea I had initially was that they were broke teenagers, and I said if they're so broke, why does she have glasses that look almost contemporary?

However, they could be dating and not in a committed relationship at the time. (Moving in, getting married, buying a pizza together.)

So she could have her own money, or her parent's could have money, and in Pluggerville, the guy always pays, no matter which way his money is flowing. That's part of buying a pet in Pluggerville - pay for a nice date, then zap! with a shrinking ray and zip! with the petometer.

So if they're not eating their children (not Law & Order: SVU), they're turning them into pets. (Law & Order: CI maybe.)

So the date could be a broke chauvinist who believes that the man is the provider and the door-opener.

Or they could be married, with too many kids that they've dumped on a relative or a babysitter so they can get the monthly shopping done. The babysitter isn't cheap, even if it is family, and they need a lot of supplies, so they don't have money for the food sold at the restaurant at the store. (The Costco in Vancouver, Washington has sublime hot dogs.)

If it's sent in by women and girls, it's sent in about the disastrous date she had with a cheapskate that promised her dinner and a movie and took her to Costco and searched for samples before settling down in the electronics department to see the latest movie out on DVD.

One more scenario - have you seen the Visa Check Card commercials? Everything's going great, following a precise order, all the gears turn just so until some schmuck pays with cash.

So these two don't carry enough cash for dinner, not even a hot dog. However, they have check cards.

Why not use them? They are married.

But not to each other!

And I imagine check cards leave a paper trail, as would using the card to get money out of ATM for a real meal. Though this would be bad if they're suspects in a crime - no paper trail, no alibi!

One other idea - this had to be sent in by young people or about young people, because if the average contributor is as old as the comics tell us, they couldn't have done this when they were young, I don't think they were as widespread, but I don't honestly know. Or hey, the Social Security check is late and your stomach is growling, so you take your Assisted Living sweetie to Costco for a night on the warehouse. You wasted all your money on botox and plastic surgery, why look old when others don't? Because you age as you get older... oh forget it.

Number 80!

Don't know how many I've looked at, how they've rotted my brain and probably jeopardized my scholarship almost 2 months before school even starts because of laziness and only 2 genuine reasons to be late.

Today is a copy of one from last week, which is just bizarre. (And not in a good way.)

I mean, this is just extremely, bizarrely lazy. I know the ideas are repeated a thousand times over, there can't be more than 10 real readers of this comic besides us snarks and jabberwocks.




Don't get me wrong, I use the library on a regular basis because books are expensive most of the time - unless they're secondhand, and there are no bookstores in my town besides the Christian one. (It used to be an awesome bike shop.) There are sections in Wal-Mart and Kroger, and the one antique store has some. There used to be a great, small, crowded bookstore, it's gone now.

So - the library is the only place within comfortable summer biking or walking distance to get free or cheap (discarded) books.

I have a normal school book bag that I used to use on our monthly trips to the big main one in downtown Memphis, but it's a hassle on a bike. I have a bag that doesn't zip or have secure interior pockets, so it's just used for books.

However, there's not much there I like except for the occasional hardback that catches my eye. I normally order books from the other 3 libraries that left the main system, and you can only order 2 from another library at a time.

So it's not big volume - they normally fit in my purse (on the small but deep side) or securely in the basket.

However, I always have 2 bags in my purse - Target ones right now - in case it starts raining.

And before I rode all the time, I'd ask my mom to drop them off on her way to... wherever.

Normally, the 20ish books (we're now allowed 10 because they're too cheap to keep security measures in place, and people were stealing because they could legally check out 25 books at a time, not because they could walk in and walk out with a book without ever stopping at the desk) would go in a bag, usually 2 plastic ones that were thrown out or used to gather trash from the car doors.

So, yes, I can relate with the "woman" in the picture.

But it still bugs me - this is the same thing from less than a week ago! Jesus Christ on a pogo stick! I know it's hot and your brain is hibernating, but come on.

As for today's comic, I'm not calling the sender cheap or broke - it's a common, convenient thing, and makes me feel better because there's no recycling in our town, so I'm reusing the bags. I do it all the damn time, it's just smart. 2 bags can protect your backpack from wet clothes, protect your medicine from the abyss of your backpack, and on and on.

2 problems with the comic - not just men bowl, and not just women read. Also, that looks like a small bag in proportion to the size and number of the books. That's stupid, that bag will break. These things are everywhere, and you can't take the time to double bag those twenty plus dollar books?

If you're using one bag for that many books, and the bag breaks and the books get ruined, you deserve it. I mean, I didn't even use one bag when I'd toss them in the car for a quick drop off. And the ones I keep around for rain? Put the purse and books in one bag, tie it, then put that bag in the other with the tied end at the opposite side - better protection.

The message here is not odd, treasonous, stupid, or, sadly, cannibalistic. (If it had said the bag held eggs...)

The execution is sloppy and the timing sucks majorly. He couldn't have shelved this for a few months?

That poster of the dog reading is creepy, yay! I mean, look at those eyes.

Big Brother is watching!

And I've never been to a checkout at any library (and I've been to a lot, not just the ones here) that has the word LIBRARY written above it on nothing.

Plus, bookshelves are never that close to the checkout desk, at least not where patrons can get them - maybe discard shelves, but those don't look like discard shelves. The counter is for checking in, checking out, signing up for computer time, and getting library cards. It's a lot bigger than that, at every library!

So these pluggers, obviously, do not read or visit library.

Case closed.

Unless...

Unless...

This was sent in by a man, about a woman he knows who always comes home from the library with Kroger bags and comes home from Kroger with groceries in a canvas bag with books on it.

This man doesn't read, so he doesn't understand anything, except the astonishing cheapness of this female - the books are free, you can't spring for a decent bag?

Or Brookins has never seen the inside of a library.

That's probably it.

Sorry for rambling. I love libraries, I love books, but I also hate being like a Plugger.

But many people are - doesn't everyone save grocery bags, as long as they're not in terrible condition?

This is much more plausible than a f!cking bowling ball in a cheap disposable bag.

On a happier note, I'm glad to see this female Plugger reading, remember the time she entered Rhinoman's whirlpool of despair? She's obviously coping better with the suckiness of her life. The fact that she reads points to someone who was an honor student in high school or college, on her way to a succesful career in whatever she wanted to do, but something got in the way.

Good for her.

I actually like this one just like the one from the 30th (though that one does piss me off a bit more - it's still true and applies to me and my family) - it doesn't fill me with rage or confusion. I think I'm going soft. It is 4am and I got less than 6 hours of sleep, so maybe I'm in a better mood?

I hope Friday's will piss me off so much I consider abandoning the blog for a few days.

I don't think I'll be disappointed.

See ya in the funny pages.

I don't want to.

*whines*

I barely got online since Friday morning - super fast internet, but the sound wasn't hooked up, so what videos did I get to watch?

None!

I honestly never looked at this... this... comic.

And now I have to do way too many and I'm overheated and it's all your fault.

Saturday the 30th:


I like this, maturity is a joke - I spent my father's graduation money on an eyebrow piercing then walked into a children's bookstore and bought too many Archie comics. Life is too short for maturity when it's not needed. (Be a grown-up when it comes to money and your or your family's safety, of course.)

But Gwampa?

Heat makes me nauseous, maybe I should abandon this tripe until Christmas break?

Sunday the 1st:


Not true. We used purple duct tape on our back screen door to hold the glass in - it eventually just fell off.

And what a stupid example - the Plugger knows nothing of the Liberty Bell?

Whatever, using the bell must be the Plugger contribution to the fourth.


Monday the 2nd:


Who says "elbow grease"? I don't want greasy elbows! And furry animals should never have anything remotely greasy or oily within a yard of their hair.

Do they really have "cordless screwdrivers" powered by something other than your arm? I used a drill once while helping (and probably setting the work back a few weeks) and drilled my finger. That's all I can think of for an electric screwdriver.

My lack of expertise is obvious, isn't it? Tell me how to use it, and I usually can.

Tuesday the 3rd:


This Plugger depresses me.

So, he's eating another member of their bizarre commune. Much less depressing.


Wednesday the 4th:






This comic is about the Silent Majority, Middle America, the people you must sell the candidate to in Peoria, and this is their Independence Day showing?

I forgot what today was too many times in the form of constantly checking the mail and not understanding why Dixie should be sedated (10th Fourth of July and they still terrify her! 2 25mg Benadryls in white bread with a couple pieces for the idiots.)

But I still have one up on them - I watched bits of 3 Fourth of July cable marathons (Law & Order, King of the Hill, and The Twilight Zone), along with wearing red, white, and blue. I got this holiday mixed up with St Patrick's Day, no, I don't drink red, white, and blue beer in July, I thought you had to wear the 3 colors or you'd get sent to Gitmo instead of being pinched.

Anyways, yeah, fishing, great summer activity, that guy's a moron, it's too hot to fish in flannel, and that is an animal... covered... in fur.

Calling the ASPCA tomorrow...

I'll have an excuse for lateness this time.

I win.

I will be out of town until the 4th. I'll have access to the Internet (high speed), however, I don't want to save the comics on the other computer, and I can't deprive you of the same depressing mess by making you click on a link.

I'm just that nice.

So today's, Friday's, the day the iphone goes on sale - I can't wait to see the Pluggers address this in a few years.


I won't even look at these until next Wednesday evening, or even Thursday!

What a great holiday.


Let me get this straight.

You go through the trouble and expense of buying a bowling ball, and you don't get a secure bag?

What?

My sister and I bowled in the last century as an after school thing, we got bowling balls at the end and used an old family bag. Becky got her ball redrilled, and when we went bowling, she just carried it.

I used one of the lighter alley balls - no disinfectant, I'm a wild child.

And I beat Becky a couple times, because I am so awesome. (Mom actually won.)

What else?

Oh yes, this guy is a moron.

More poverty.

This comic is depressing.



And I've never seen that happen -usually, the people aren't there, and even though you're not supposed to... we still drop stuff off.

Repeat strip.

It's Sunday again.


This comic is a "senior moment".

And Dub? DUB?

I did not sleep well.

And I never got on the computer yesterday, because I was asleep, reading, watching TV, or gone.

And I've noticed that when I get up, especially this month, I get sick to my stomach.

I have to believe that it is related to looking at this foul comic. Especially since the last thing I watched before looking at it is The Daily Show and Colbert Report, which makes this look worse and worse, or in today's case, Pirates 3. (Keith Richards was awesome.)

Onto the tripe, huh?

Yesterday -



That never gets old!

It's also quite disgusting, since the main reason our house needs vacuuming is because of the other vacuum cleaners. And they're not dependable. I spilled a little ketchup on the kitchen floor and asked Dixie to get it. That loonie tune sniffed it and then rolled in it!

Though Wickett is a vacuum cleaner from time to time. When I eat on the floor, there is no begging. However, as soon as I'm done, Wickett's there, looking for anything, because he's never fed. He also eats the hair that Dixie sheds.

Bu yes, how amazingly original "lots of pluggers" are.

Today's isn't much better.

What?

The kids in the back seat that looks about 50 feet away from the front seat know the driver's not buckled up?

And what is a seat belt warning system? One of my friends has a car that beeps every few minutes if she doesn't buckle up, is that what they mean?

I always thought cars shouldn't start if the seat belt's not buckled, but they're not quite there yet.

It's also fun to fool the sensor in the front passenger seat - my backpack made the light blink once, so from time to time, I balance on a hand on the door and the middle cup hold thingie, just to see the light go off.

Of course, I always wear a seat belt, I do not encourage law breaking unless my stomach hurts.

It's about a common plugger theme...

*spins the wheel of cliches*

Old age!




And also, way to alienate whatever female readership you had.

So from now on, all Pluggers will be bald male animals? That are mammals, and therefore always have hair - the animal used today is not bald. A bald dog has mange and is sick. This guy has problems.

This could also be twisted in a different, better direction. A barber doesn't have to sweep after cutting a Plugger's hair because... the Plugger never cuts his hair! He's a hippie, man. It's been 40 years since the Summer of Love, some of those hippies could be old farts now.

Which is still less scary than any Plugger comic involving the Chicken-woman.

This would make me sad if I had to do this...

But I don't! The last time I did it was before I turned 8, my dad had me do this, though not like today's unlucky Plugger.



It was gasoline powered, of course.

This Rhino is the saddest of all the Pluggers, he's always broke, he uses a pawn shop as an ATM!

So, naturally, he can't use a gas mower or even one of the new push mowers. Our neighbor across the street has one that he uses only for the front yard - it's small and they have a huge tree surrounded by flowers and pretty landscaping.

I saw the mower for the first time a few weeks ago, and I loved it! It was so cool.

You're not a real man because you use a mower like that because you have no choice, you're too broke to afford a gas mower.

I just don't see this guy as Scrooge McDuck, who would use such a mower to save money (he has a lot). This guy is using this mower to save money so he can afford to eat. (Another's Plugger's young.)

I hope this guy uses real deodorant.

Ha!

I am so early.

I win.

However, today's comic is just disturbing.

Moreso than usual, if that's possible.

Why?



Look at where the Plugger is from!


EW!!!!!!!!!

Murfreesboro may be north of Memphis, but it's still in Tennessee! Even in the Smokies, it still gets hot!

Deoderant does not cause cancer, people!

There may be some hope, it says favorite, so maybe there's more than one deoderant that he uses... like one for his body?

Not that animals sweat of course...

You know, there are many more disturbing comics out there, and most don't use animals as people, besides Shoe which is pretty disturbing. (It stars birds and once they talked about eating birds.)

It is hot, people, do us a favor, wear some deoderant - even if you can't smell it, somebody can. And your monogrammed shirt could get stained if you don't.

Oh man...

I try to be timely...

And this is what they give me?



This thing is older than most of the regular readers of this stupid comic.

My abdomen hurts.

I'm not looking forward to today's comic, it can't help matters.



We get it!

They're "simple folk" who don't go for monogrammed things, because they don't even know what a monogram is!

I have no item of clothing or anything besides a couple notepads with my first name or first initial.

But if I worked in a job where my shirt said my name, I wouldn't say it was monogrammed!

Sheesh, pluggers everywhere, you're depressingly stupid. You think you're witty.

Homer Simpson already went down this road as Max Power.

Homer: So I want the monogram to read "M-A-X P-O-W ... "
Employee: Sir, traditionally, a monogram is just initials.
Homer: Max Power doesn't abbreviate. Each letter is as
important as the one that preceded it. Maybe more
important! No, as important.


Pluggers everywhere are ripping off Homer Simpson.

Short and bitter.

Nothing sweet about this "comic".


Sunday:

She likes her hot dogs raw, not well done. Savage.

There is a grain of truth in the choice of species, though. If your pets have thin hair, you're supposed to use pet sunblock when they're out in the sun.

Chickens wear flip-flops, dogs go barefoot. She also likes her food with a taste of tetanus, apparently.

As for the global warming "joke"...

whatever.

Monday:

This is just sad.

And incredibly evil! That's a young dog, eating chicken in revenge for his father's death, plainly that's the crazy chicken lady who keeps her jewelry in her children's old cribs. Or wombs, whatever.

This would be a bit less sad if the word "young" was placed in front of pluggers. Kids are supposed to be broke.

It is fun, as a kid, to run around Costco or Sam's, trying samples.

But eating out?

Too broke for McDonalds? Where'd she get the money for glasses? Were they donated from Lenscrafters?

Today:


Crappy cars. Ha ha ha ha! That's why they have to eat store samples. Those places are isolated, you need a full tank of gas to get there, and when the rust bucket is full, you're broke and must resort to eating all of the samples.

Plus, that truck is probably so old that it gets 1 mile a gallon, downhill, highway.

Dog'd have more money if he killed that chicken. She's huge! Worth a lot of money.

The last two are proof that the majority of Americans (the five that send in suggestions that aren't CC readers) are not only broke, they're living below the poverty line.

These people lead sad lives.

Give me a fat or old plugger, please.

Only a day late.

And for some people, it could still be the 15th.

Not me, I slept til 10, and fell asleep after my shower (after my mid-day bike ride) which made me miss Jeopardy! and a chance to finance my family's financial future, at least until Monday.


I just looked at today's comic and it is the weirdest thing I've seen all day - I mean Friday this time - and I watched a History Channel show on the end of the Earth and/or the Universe and a 2 hour thing on hippies. In addition to reading Donald Duck comics and Ask A Mexican!

My weird threshold is high - I'm nuts. And this comic continues to be the weirdest thing, but never in a good way.

Let's get on with it, shall we?

Friday's comic:



Pluggers are old.

There was a download for the Sims from a unique site that I lost the link to due to various computer snafus. Look, just because I can type without looking at the keyboard does not mean I'm a computer expert!

Anyways, it was something your Sim could buy that was basically useless - a broken computer that had one action - kick. Loved it!

This comic makes me wish I had such an object.

Onto today's.



"Earn" ice cream?

What?

Pluggers are paid in ice cream now?

I haven't had ice cream since the other day - I "earned" it the old fashioned way too - my sister drove to Sonic and got me a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blast with her tip money (she bought Backyard Burger's Root Beer Floats for herself and Mom).

And I look better in summer clothes, if I do say so myself. (I'm the only one saying so, but hey, beauty comes from self-confidence and I don't care what the mirror or pictures say - I feel good in my tank top and purple pirate pajama pants.)

That Rhino has a hard life.

However, I have no sympathies for an idiot from Texas who "earns" his ice cream in any way that does not involve an exchange of money for cold dairy products on a hot day.

It's hot.

Have some ice cream.

Sorry.

I've had books to read and sleeping to do and when I looked at Monday's Pluggers, I was not inspired, so I didn't get back online until yesterday.

It's summer, I'm not in school yet, I can be as weird and lazy as I want to. As long as I read my summer reading (speeches of Martin Luther King Jr), I'm fine.

Onto the comics.

We start with Monday's.

Ha ha! Normally, a well-balanced life means you make time for different things, so your life isn't all about the kids or all about work. This Pluggers life is not balanced in any way that can benefit her, judging by the horror in her eyes. She may be a rabbit - this is her life until she dies.

And on to Tuesday's.



Pluggers are stupid. I mean, this Plugger lives in Florida! Everything needs to be properly sealed or you'll lose it. Trust a Memphis resident on this one. Don't forget mice, but that's what a metal bread box is for.

Though if I can't find a tie and it's something stored in the freezer, I have done that. But bread?

Idiots.

Wednesday's:

This is wrong. It's JUNE. That's a DOG in a PARKED CAR. The dog will die.

In his sleep... napping for all eternity, are you happy?

My dogs are rotten, they've never been left in the car, unless I'm in there with the AC on, but we don't do that as much because of gas prices, so I just stay home and spoil them.

But honestly, he could have found a better setting and a better animal.

That chicken wants to kill him, we know she does.

And, finally, today's.


Pluggers use coupons!

Frozen spam pops?

Excuse me.

We're done for now. I am very queasy from drinking some water with my morning meds and the thought of spam pops... ugh!

Yeah, yeah.

I threw up Thursday night and did not get up until 11 am Friday.

And Saturday, I woke up feeling out of sorts and didn't feel good until now, 4:30 Sunday morning. I think I've been riding my bike too much in the heat - Thursday I was soaked in sweat in the library, dizzy, and incredibly shaky. But I made it home!

So I have to do 3 strips now, and because I'm lazy and my stomach still feels off, I'm going to keep it short.

Friday's strip:
Pluggers are fat.

And ignorant.

And look like men!

Next!

Saturday's strip:


Um, yeah. Who cleans their light fixture every time a stupid bug dies in there? Not me or anybody in my family. But I'm not fat and stupid!

Also, I'd say something about the switched gender, but the woman could be a neat freak and knows a man who does this. (Not anyone she lives with, or she'd clean the damn things out.)

NEXT!

Today's strip:



He really wastes his Sunday space. So glad this doesn't run in my paper. (But it's in color! Ooh!)

Deputy Fife is dead!

Done!

This makes less sense than usual!

Note - I am commenting on today's comic standing over a stubborn dog who will give me sad eyes if I make her move and take my couch.



(Nope, I got sick of it after moving the comic, and said, "Dixie. Move." She harrumphed and walked less than two feet away and flopped back down. Dogs!)

Now, I know many people do keep commonly used tools in a drawer in the kitchen because when you need a screwdriver, you need one now. (While your 10 year old makes you another kind of screwdriver.)

But these are Pluggers!

They're supposed to be hard-working freaks of nature who don't mind getting their hands dirty to save a buck fixing something. (And costing more after they make the problem worse.)

So they should have an organized toolbox!

My dad did, he took it after the divorce, but even we know where most of the obvious tools are in the house.

A box - not a toolbox, but a box nonetheless - on the laundry room (alcove with doors - great hiding place) shelf.

Except for a Philips head screwdriver, which we keep in a kitchen drawer for some reason.

Pluggers are very inconsistent.

I have excuses.

But you don't care.

"Where's my incisive, cutting critique of today's Pluggers?" you wailed for almost 48 hours.

I do have some valid excuses, but most are based in procrastination and sleep. And the dogs!

Plus, when I looked at today's comic, I was baffled. And I still am!

And I just saw yesterday's.

Who allowed this tripe to be published? What reasoning is there?

Let's start with yesterday's, I can pervert it with cannibalism, which is always fun.



Who doesn't do this? Since I've known how to cook, I've always made more than I needed. It's called a microwave and extreme laziness when hunger strikes. A couple days ago, my mom grilled pork steaks. I had the last one today. Same with pizza.

It's not unusual in any way, at least not to me.

Though I do like the margarine tub leftover containers. We've never done this, the closest we've come is reusing Chinese take-out containers - the plastic soup bowls are great for many things. The margarine tubs go in the trash.

As for the cannibalism - egg salad, scrambled eggs, chicken salad, anything with chicken, her husband that died in front of the TV...

Now today's is confusing, and I know why. It is based on my ignorance, not the comic. Ha!



We don't have a riding mower. I wish we did. Hank Hill has one, and his yard is smaller than ours. Case closed!

That is one fancy-ass shed. Ours came with the house and it holds more than our mower. I'm assuming other sheds hold more than one thing.

Plus, I thought the Rhino was constantly broke and didn't have the money for a house with a yard, but who knows.

I just do not get it. It makes total sense that a building would cost more than a lawnmower - and since when is $250 something to sneeze at? These people are the average people, $250 is big money! At least in my family.

I don't get it at all - how is this unique in any way? Everybody with a yard and a shed is a plugger, especially those of us without riding mowers.

The gender matches!

That's why I shouldn't do these before the sun is up.

Today's comic does not apply to me, and I hope it never does. (I know women can have thinning hair as well as men - I see the ads!)



Ooh, Pluggers are old! And men! And "portly".

This comic was meant for old men, wasn't it?

I never blow-dry my hair, I'll rub it dry with a towel and then brush it, and when I was younger, I'd shake my head like crazy. It didn't dry it as much as get everything else wet.

And style? I got highlights a couple summers ago, and I brush it when it's insane, which is often.

I just brushed it while reading the paper, and before we head out the door to wherever - "Did you brush your hair?"

Puppies!

I love dogs, when you're blue they're great antidepressants.

I'd classify today's strip as "Pluggers are cheap or broke" at first glance, but I know it's not, at least not to me.



We've only had one shelter dog - and she was our only pure-bred. 3 were bought through people who had dogs who had litters, and only one of them is still alive today. The other two bounced from person to person to us, and we can't imagine life without them. However, we changed the shelter dog's name (they called her Mo! Her name is Ginger!) and one of the dog's that we got for free. (PJ???? No, Mikey.)

The reason this doesn't fall under cheap is because you pay 70-something bucks for a pound puppy. Hundreds less than a pedigreed one, yes, but not that cheap.

Of course, our next dog will be a pound puppy.

I'm not even going to go into the animals owning animals thing...

Though Dixie likes to lick Wickett's head and neck, and he tries so hard to get her half as messy as he is...

This is sick.

Take some Tums before you look at today's cartoon.




So non-pluggers hate their grandchildren or don't have any? What the?

And "Pap-paw"? I understand Paw-Paw, but not Pap-Paw! It's even creepier because that's his granddaughter, and "pap" means something else entirely to women...

These people are weird.

And Barney's dead.

I'm sleepy...

Let's start with Thursday's strip.

That's just sad.

Then on to Friday's.

That's even sadder. That cola will be laced with a Kevorkian cocktail, trust me.

Good night!