Wednesday June 16th

The comic:

I think I've seen this.

Anyway, I remember my dad settling down to polish his shoes... on dress days... when he was in the military.

The average white-collar worker does not polish their shoes. Especially tennis shoes. And flip-flops - which, if made of the right material, can be washed with a hose.

Anyways, this is his job. He's probably been doing it since 18, since his dad and grandfather worked there. He's most likely part of a union.

But he looks so dejected - does he think she's going to change her mind one day and say, sure make the house muddy - it's not like I've been working all day and just cleaned up after our kids!

Of course, the cynic would say a little mud wouldn't be noticed in a Plugger household. Except, Pluggers love stereotypes, especially sexist ones. And we all know wives henpeck their husbands and are so picky they don't want a bit of dirt in the house!

Also, washing his shoes won't help - maybe hose off the bottom, but unless they're waterproofed on the outside, they'll take some time to dry and he needs them for work tomorrow. So why not just kick them off outside and put on indoor shoes?

When my shoes are too nasty or I got caught in the rain, they sit on the porch. And they take a bit to dry out.

Also, that lunch box is too ridiculous and old fashioned - Plugger men love them!

Thursday August 6th

The comic:


The Pluggers aren't affected by the economic downturn, nosiree! They're smart.

Thursday May 21st

The comic:


Aw, Pluggers know how to share! How sweet! ::gag::

Friday May 15th

The comic:


Pluggers are the only people in the world who work hard. The rest of us are spoiled trust fund babies.

Pass it on.

Thursday May 14th

The comic:


I wouldn't trust a Plugger with my engine! Have you seen the clunkers they drive?

Oh, and blah de blah non-Pluggers are fancy pants who use their SUVs for play, not work. Because non-Pluggers are richer and snootier than Pluggers.

Thursday April 16th

The comic:


And those shoes will soon be green. Trust me.

Oh holy hell I know where Hendersonville is - I call them tennis shoes too, even though they're not used for tennis.

Damn these regionalisms! They do not make you a Plugger!

Thursday February 26th

The comic:


This looks like a classic. Maybe not with a tree, but a female hanging things out to dry and the caption saying something about conserving energy? Yeah, seen it.

Though this is new, and disturbing - a 12 year old contributor! I had to read Alley Oop for the DCR, and there were all these kids sending in dino drawings to a 75 year old comic... yeah right!

Kid, you creep me out. I hope you did this as a joke, knowing it would get published. Or, yeah, parents made you.

Thursday January 22nd

The comic:


And non-Pluggers are ungrateful bastards.

Except this is creepy, for some reason.

Not to mention wrong.

My mom chats up everyone at her favorite non-chain restaurants. You hear that, Plugger ding bats? THEY'RE NOT FUCKING NATIONAL FAST FOODS CHAINS! Of course, if she knows the cashier or anybody behind the counter at the fast food place, well, I hope you're in a disguise. Or you brought a book, because your food will be digested before she is done.

But there is no CHEF, no COOK, NO RECIPES at your MCDONALDS! They heat food! The recipes (such as they are, says the McNugget lover), come from R&D, which is not in Pluggerville!

It's great to be polite, but don't be so damned stupid about it, pluggers.

And don't be stupid enough to run it as a classic.

Of course, this could just be a sign that they're "jes folks" and there are no "chefs" in their towns, because they're real people, they're Pluggers. They're stupid and proud of it.

Plugger sighting out of Florida, courtesy of the TeeVee.

"I believe getting your hands dirty is the best way to keep your head clean." Classic pluggerism.

Of course, the one before is a bit against what we've seen, but I'm sure they'd say something like "the view from your porch beats the view from your sofa."

Being Pluggers, the sofa is on the porch.

There is another one, and it is worse though only a bit harder to find. (I found this one, I'm done.) The same guy lets us know he believes that baseball caps should not be worn backwards. (Edgy!) And the view from something beats the view from a psychiatrist's couch. I think. Something about how real Pluggers don't need shrinks and wear their baseball caps properly.

I actually am not a big fan of orange juice.

Thursday December 18th

The comic:


Gag me with a spoon.

I know cops.

I know soldiers.

I don't know any firepeople. Maybe they really are great people, I don't know.

But cops? Bah. ::grump::

Picture this. You're an average American kid. Your whole life, you've been told you can go to the police when you're in trouble, or if somebody touches you, whatever. So you're watching the news with your family, and there's your high school on the TV. Turn's out there's been an undercover police officer at the school for a few months. Everyone figures out who it was, even if they don't say. What the hell, man? Sure, the undercover doesn't force anyone to buy drugs (not this time), but damn, way to make me trust cops.

And my dad's a cop.

And I love my relatives, I do, honestly. Uncle Danny went to Iraq for both wars, and I hope he doesn't have to go back. But I've never noticed a real patriotic or heroic air about him.

They're human, too.

And I read this article about firemen saying don't call them heroes, this is their job, and they get off on the adrenaline rush.

And it's subtitle has the word I've been looking for this entire post "firefighters". (Hard to find - so many things about Sept 11th!)

Anyways, it seems we're in for reruns. Well, I'm a ditz, so while I think I recognize this comic, I don't know when it appeared. (And there's nothing in it to make it pop up in a tag search, though I almost added "gag me with a spoon" tonight.)

I heard a Plugger whining on the radio today!

Er, singing.

I had a doctor appointment at 8:30 this morning in the city, and there was black ice on some of the roads, so all the driving was insane, so we had to listen to the radio. Mom's the driver, Mom still likes country music, we listened to country music.

Luckily, I stopped the Toby Keith song in its tracks, but still caught this by Jason Michael Carrol, called "Where I'm From." It's just whiny as hell, and the bit I heard reminded me of Pluggers.

On a three hour flight from Memphis to LA
I was silently celebrating my first class upgrade
Laughing at my jeans and my boots
Beside those high dollar shoes and Armani suits

I turned it down and was like "But the whole California culture is laidback, everyone wears jeans, who gives a damn about blue jeans?"

That's what I heard.

Now I'm looking at the rest of the lyrics.

I did not know Pluggers had recording contracts.

I said I'm from the front pew of a wooden church
The courthouse clock still don't work
Where a man's word means everything
Where moms and dads were high school flames
Gave their children grandmothers maiden names
It may not sound like much
But its where I'm from

...

Where the quarterback dates the homecoming queen
The trucks are ford and tractors green
And amazing Grace is what we sing
There's a county fair every fall
Your friends are there every time you call
Yeah It may not sound like much but it's
Where I'm from

I used to love country music, and it was stuff like this that drove me away. I could not handle the sap, the feeling of persecution and being the best of the best that went hand in hand.

It's like, you may look down on me, but I'm better than you, because my way of life is simpler. Why is simpler better? BECAUSE IT IS. City folks ask too many questions.

Tuesday December 2nd

The comic:


I'm surprised he's not using a straight razor.

Is that what he's doing with his other hand? I'm not a guy, and I don't have any memories of my dad shaving. (He had (still has?) a mustache.) I have no idea.

The idea of a dog shaving, ow my head. My babies ran away today. My mom left the gate open today while bringing in firewood, and my sister doesn't do jack shit around the house unprompted, and my mom is stressed out, and she called me and damn, I'm just glad they're all back.

But what do you say? Mom feels like shit, she yells at Becky, Becky yells back, I just feel miserable and confused. At least I know I'm going home as soon as I can, instead of spending a few quiet days in the dorm with no homework to worry about after my last exam. Family needs me as a mediator and gate-closer/obsessive door-locker.

So.

Pluggers are old. But still young enough to be trusted with razors.

What? There isn't a lot to work with!

You know how Gocomics.com has a comments sections for each day's comic? I've read a few of the Plugger comments. Unlike the Dick Tracy ones, these are mostly posted by genuine fans. And the official Plugger website used to have a message board.

The main message from both these places is that this is not supposed to be funny, but it is supposed to be familiar. We are supposed to nod and say, "This is my life." It reminds me of the opening splash of MAD's parody of Mad About You where somebody says that instead of a laugh track, the show has a "how true, how true" track. (Or something to that effect. The book's at home.)

But Pluggers are both 80% of our population and old. And usually men. The too broad mission statement is what bugs me the most. "What, you don't live like this? Or, if the genders are wrong, know someone like this? What's wrong with you?" seems to be the underlying premise. Of course, I have this tag called "non-Pluggers suck," so this isn't a big surprise or anything. I just can't think of anything to say about the comic itself and felt that I'd been abandoning you guys lately with short posts. Plus, I went to bed at 9 last night, so I'm just being stupid and staying up late.

Thursday November 27th

The comic:


And non-Pluggers are ungrateful assholes. We've been over this.

Monday November 17th

The comic:



If you don't have grandkids, your life is meaningless.

Saturday November 8th

The comic:


Is he preparing the corpse for viewing? Okay, I haven't had a haircut in a long time, though my mom just said I needed one this week. Again. She (and Beck) kept that refrain up all damn summer. At one point, it would be my birthday "present". But here it is November and still no haircut.

As for making appointments, shit, if I can't remember the last time I had a haircut, do you think I remember something as stupid as whether we had an appointment? No, wait, I know I got it done in February or March of 2006, and I don't think we had an appointment. It was most likely post-doctor appointment nonsense and I looked FABULOUS.

See, I would be visiting my uncle soon for Spring Break and needed a fancy dress for the ****opera**** and I came home in new shoes, my new dress, with a new haircut and probably highlights. And barbecue from the best damn barbecue place ever. So that was over 2 and a half years ago... hrm...

I'm a chick, I should know these things. Pluggers makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, so I must be doing something right.

Oh, I just finished watching Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Fuck! I must have that movie, even though Drew Barrymore and Julia Roberts are almost annoying, well, Sam Rockwell is the man. So if this had been about tv, like all the others, then I could have had fun. But no. Fucking hair. They're animals! And/or balding!

Friday October 31st

The comic:


DUDE! Proportions! This makes my eyes weep. On their own, from the wrongness of it all.

Also, wow, I can't believe it took so long for you to find out, Fran Padula, that non-Pluggers are curmudgeonly little bitches who can't stand it when others succeed. It's why I do this blog.

Wednesday October 22nd

The comic:


When I saw the top half of this comic (no little Plugger, just enough to know it was the chicken), I thought of how Dixie killed a chicken. Only because I was talking to some people from Nebraska, and that's where her reign of terror began

Anyways, this is should be called a Plugger Food Bank - after all, Pluggers are animals and they're feeding their fellow Pluggers. Stale bread. Classy.

Geese suck, anyways. The ones at this one park bite and harass the ducks, and oh those are ducks in the comic. I think. The band around the neck means it's a duck, right?

The chicken lady is so weird here - it's like the rooster's crown was placed on Brookin's old female mammal template. Nothing is birdlike about her - no feathers, no beak.

So maybe she wants to live with the ducks, she knows this is an unnatural existence?

The kid could care less. He doesn't look like a monster.

Yeah, I don't have much to say. I don't know what the hell the phrase is supposed to mean or why it matters that they've interpreted it as the quintessential old person activity, feeding birds. (Yeah, young people do it too, I did before going off to do something more interesting, like roll down a hill.)

It has something to do with getting followers or supporters, right? Is it Biblical in nature?

I just realized I never want to see Plugger religious iconography - pictures of saints or Jesus - eek!

Wednesday October 15th

The comic:


You're a Plugger if you're nosy.

This says Pluggers have many friends (or live in teeny towns) and they care about their friends and neighbors, while us soulless non-Pluggers would delete the message saying the test came back negative, you're not going to die before eating some arugula.

I seriously doubt a doctor's office would leave a message for the wrong number. Your answering machine/voicemail features your name (or your phone number).

I'd think of changing doctors if mine did this. Sloppy with innocent information, what about the delicate stuff?

Thursday August 14th

The comic:


Pluggers don't swim?

I guess that's a good thing.

And, of course, non-Pluggers want children to die.

Monday May 19th

The comic:



Don is a guy's name. Guys do laundry.

But not in Pluggerville.

This comic asks us to assume that Pluggers - lazy, often elderly creatures - don't use a dryer. And that Pluggers - who live bleak lives - never drink.

Of course, this could work if she's putting clothes on the line after putting them through a mangle.

And that Pluggers are members of a Protestant denomination that's Carrie Nation-style opposed to booze. Which makes us sinners.

I have proof that male Pluggers drink - "more prune juice bottles than wine bottles" implies that there is at least one wine bottle in the recycling bin. However, the idea was later recycled to remove any mention of alcohol. (Pluggers drink prune juice.)